Pain subsides anxiety kicks in.

[Painfreefuture]

The Sarno methods have been working for me and I have had pain free moments where I almost feel completely healthy. That is the good news, what is frustrating is that when I notice I am not in pain or have been feeling "normal" for some time, I sabotage myself and start to worry about the pain returning, and then it always does. Then I use all the methods again and the pain will subside. I feel stuck in this cycle of pain, no pain, fear pain will return, pain, no pain, fear pain will return, etc...

Has anyone had this experience? Any advice on how to overcome the fear of the pain returning?

Thanks!

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Yes, each time you start to fear the pain -- right then go and write what is bothering you emotionally other than the pain ok. If you do this you will create a healing loop. Have you done the SEP ?

 

[Painfreefuture]

Thank you for the reply! I have been doing the reading for the SEP, but doing exercises from Dr. Shubiner's unlearn you pain book. I did what you suggested today and had a much better day! I also found an old post of yours with links to Claire Weekes audios. I listened to them last night and her voice has been going through my head all day. What amazing insight she has. I have tremendous anxiety and I recently came to the realization that the spasms and pain are, in a way, anxiety attacks. I feel that getting the anxiety and fear under control is crucial to my recovery, as they are in a large part to blame for how I got to where I am today. Thank you so much for your insight the support from the forum has been so helpful!

 

[G.R.]

Hi, This may not apply to you at all Painfreefuture so please dismiss it if it does not. Perhaps, the pain, no pain, fear pain, pain returns because maybe
that has been your identity for awhile and without it you may have to move forward with your life. Sometimes, TMS has become our identity and we don't
even realize it.

May I ask what tape you listened to of Claire Weekes. I am also doing the Dr. Schubiner's book. I also believe the pain I have are like anxiety
attacks. I am also getting the fear under control. You will probably going to laugh at this but I command the fear to go. And if it does not
go the first time , I keep telling it to go; very firmly and with authority. And it does go. I like to think of fear as a force that comes at you and we have the
power to send it away.

Painfreefuture, we are going to have victory over this TMS. We can do it, especially with all the warm, loving support on this forum.
May the Force be with you!!

 

[Painfreefuture]

Thank you GR! I cried when I read your post! It is just so wonderful to have someone understand. I wrote a post earlier about my unsupportive spouse. Needless to say, I have no one to talk to about this. Finding support on the forum has been a lifesaver.

I had the thought yesterday that maybe I am scared of not having pain, but I did not really want to face it. In my journaling I came to the realization that maybe this all started because I was stuck between choosing a career (just finished a post doc and was considering professor positions) or being a stay at home mom (kids are 2 and 4), and my low self esteem was telling me I was probably going to fail at either, so my mind decided for me and gave me debilitating pain. Decision now made, neither! If the pain goes away then I have to make a choice. Now I don't really know if this is it, but writing about it has helped.

I also like your idea of yelling at the fear, not funny at all. I have done this myself - when I'm home alone But some of the advice seems a little contradictory and I wonder if anyone can weigh in. What we are working towards is feeling our emotions, fear included. Claire Weekes and others suggest riding through the feelings and not fighting them. Of course, I may be misunderstanding her advice. So how do you know when to assert yourself over your emotions or ride through them?

Thank you again for your response!
We will kick this!
And may the Force be with you too!

 

[Painfreefuture]

This is the link to the Claire Weekes audios posted by Eric. I only found them yesterday, but they were very helpful and comforting. One of the docs I saw diagnosed me with central pain sensitization - I had to look it up. When I first started reading about it I was scared because they don't know how to treat it (I actually read somewhere that it will never go away, which I now know is crap) After learning about TMS and chronic pain, everything is fitting together. And Claire seems to have figured it out long ago.

I hope you find them helpful too!

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/claire-weekes-audio.2569/

 

[G.R.]

Hi, That is so interesting about you considering a professor position. I have taught at a university for a long time and have taken some time off.
So, I do understand about making that career decision. Is it possible you can teach only two classes so you can enjoy your children also?
Being a full time professor is so demanding and requires a lot of time out of the classroom for preparing. Being a professor you gain
confidence every semester, you learn as you go.

I do think that maybe your pain is serving you in keeping you at a standstill. You are so on the right track with journaling. You are
doing all the right things. Keep journaling your feelings and I looking at old memories that hurt and feeling the pain in them and
then letting them go and forgiving who I need to has helped.

I don't have the link but look up Psychosomatic in success stories. He has several video clips that are wonderful. In watched some of them
yesterday and they really motivated me.

As with fear, fear just debilitates me. For me, I want to understand what is the root of the fear but for me I command the fear to go.
And it does go but with other emotions I do try to feel the emotions. I have heard to send love to the fear. For some reason, that
has not been working for me.

Everyone is so different with what works for them. Some people stand against the pain and others lean into it. I think you just have to
see what works for you. One thing I am realizing the more physical I am the more confidence I get. I talk a lot to myself. For
instance, I say, "No fear here or I can climb the stairs without fear." One thing I have not been able to figure out is how to be in a car (not as the driver) without pain. I think this is more a conditioned response than psychological. Today, I will ride with my husband to a friends house about 45 minutes away.
I am going to speak to my brain before I go and try to relax in the car. If I get pain, so be it and I will lay down on the couch at
my girlfriend's house.

It really sounds like you are well on your way. Be patient and loving with yourself. Please, keep in touch.

 

[Painfreefuture]

Oh wow! So you know how stressful working at a university is! I really loved my work, but I'm not equipped to be a do-it-aller, and I really miss my kids when I'm not with them. I was hoping to get into some part time work eventually when the kiddos get in school and life settles down a bit.

I hope your car ride went well. Fear is my weakness too. I have so many fears and then fear that as well. I am baby stepping my way back into life again. Driving is the next big thing to conquer. I learned about the EFT tapping strategy today, and hope to add that to my are aresenal of tools. It worked today. So did Twisted Sister

It's so nice to share stories with you! I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one talking to herself all day long. Sometimes I get freaked out and think I'm going crazy. But it works. The id superego conflict thing really makes sense to me too, so I am constantly comforting my inner child and telling my superego to back off. I hope I'm not curing pain and developing multiple personalities in the process

Thank you for the encouragement! I will stay in touch! Be well!!