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Pain Disapears

Boston Redsox

Boston Redsox

Well Known Member
Tms family i a question i have recently met a wonderful person during my seperation
And the crazy things is my pain totally disapears when i spend time with her this fanomena is mind bogling is this some type of placebo effect?
 
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Boston Redsox said:
Tms family i a question i have recently met a wonderful person during my seperation
And the crazy things is my pain totally disapears when i spend time with her this fanomena is mind bogling is this some type of placebo effect?
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Excellent, my friend. I've read that so many have healed after leaving a toxic relationship and falling in love. Maybe that's exactly what you need to start healing.
 
Hi Marco,

I am happy for you and suppose it has something to do with experiencing what I might call "self-regulation," which is an antidote to "dis-regulation." I notice that when people attune to themselves, there is an inner contact and a "connection" that happens, and this relieves pain. I imagine that your contact with your new love is working on a similar level. There is something in your connection with this friend that also connects you to you, and this relieves tension, or regulates, or soothes at a very deep level. I guess it is all happening in you, when you are in this particular environment.

I think I've seen this with a family friend too. When she's in contact with a new lover, her pain goes away for months!

It might be very interesting for you to inquire into: What is my inner experience that is so different? What do I project on this friend that seems to be lacking in me? How do I feel in my body when we are together? Is there a pervasive feeling that I am safe, or seen, or loved? Does this mean I am not having to deal with the Inner Bully? Very Cool.

Bravo!!

Andy B.
 
Andy B said:
Hi Marco,

I am happy for you and suppose it has something to do with experiencing what I might call "self-regulation," which is an antidote to "dis-regulation." I notice that when people attune to themselves, there is an inner contact and a "connection" that happens, and this relieves pain. I imagine that your contact with your new love is working on a similar level. There is something in your connection with this friend that also connects you to you, and this relieves tension, or regulates, or soothes at a very deep level. I guess it is all happening in you, when you are in this particular environment.

I think I've seen this with a family friend too. When she's in contact with a new lover, her pain goes away for months!

It might be very interesting for you to inquire into: What is my inner experience that is so different? What do I project on this friend that seems to be lacking in me? How do I feel in my body when we are together? Is there a pervasive feeling that I am safe, or seen, or loved? Does this mean I am not having to deal with the Inner Bully? Very Cool.

Bravo!!

Andy B.
Click to expand...


To answer you question I do feel all the above especially safe…its incredible I could have pain most of the day and when I know I am going to see her it melts away and stays a way until I get home very puzzling, I have been journaling about this but nothing as come to the service yet.
 
Hi Marco,

It seems that the feeling you are safe really impacts the pain. This is great information!

This understanding about you, makes me think "How can I feel safe (without the other person)?" I think this directly relates to the condition of self-attunement and self-empathy, and self-contact that I teach people. There is a link between feeling "in contact with" (self-attunement and empathy) and the sense of safety.

This is very cool, and helps me inquire into/refine what I am doing with clients. Thank you.

Andy B.
 
The excitement and joy of seeing her and being with her is soothing your anger and rage, as these intense positive emotions counter the intense negative emotions, the blood flow increases to your muscles, nerves and tendons and viola, your pain is gone!

Love is good medicine.
 
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