So, I keep jumping on and off the TMS Forum and the Structured Education Program: why is this happening? TMS matters because of these destructive pain symptoms can take us out of living a fulfilled life, and I committed to moderating the chat room once a month to support people's recovery. I also started the Structured Education Program in November to educate myself around the science of TMS. Now it's the end of January, I still haven't finished SEP and few of you ever see me on the forum. I say that I want to contribute to this group and support people, but my actions show that's not true. I really signed up for this because I want a job, and supporting the TMS movement looked like a way to get paid. The struggles of the TMS community haven't been important to me and I haven't taken the time to get connected with anyone here. As a result, my SEP is unfinished, I don't know many of you on the forum, and the people who I have shared with may have come to see me as flakey, aloof, unsupportive, maybe even untrustworthy. I'm frustrated by not finishing SEP and it becomes a further source of TMS symptoms (as I make myself wrong and miserable). There's no respect and compassion for all of your experiences! I come on here complaining about my problems, but don't contribute positively to anyone else. I'm committed to being a contributing member of this community, and fulfilling on the SEP by the end of Wednesday, February 10th. Thanks to all of you for being steadfast members of this community! TMSWiki works because of the ongoing contribution of time and love (and sometimes money) that all of you give.