Ongoing difficulties

[Bealillie]

I know its not good to focus on symptoms I'm just wondering if anyone has similar symptoms : feelings of wetness and internal or external sunburn when they've not been exposed to either sun or water (this is new on top of several years worth of intensifying symptoms in many areas of my mostly lower body).
I could blame the warm weather but… In a big flare of back and leg foot symptoms As well as tingling internal vibrations throughout much of my body. My usual tools of attempting to remain curious or calm are not working. I have left no emotional stone unturned, work with Dan Ratner and Rachel Hollander as well as my own psychotherapist.
It seems that recently my symptoms are increasing and intensifying, as if my nervous system is just making it hard for me to actually believe in recovery.
Also my external environment is not ideal, but with my symptoms, very hard for me to travel back to the United States and even hope for any improvement once I get home since I've given up all the activities I did before. my favorite season used to be the summer spring and summer and as it's getting warmer, I'm getting more hopeless. Looking for suggestions ideas when things get to the point where you're not sure what to do.

 

[Cactusflower]

I think there are a few things you can do.
#1 is part pf Dan Ratner’s work which is dropping the stories and worst case scenarios that have not happened and may never happen. This is a huge part of his doubt column. Even if you think you have done that work, having doubts and massive insecurities, fears and rumination's say that there is room left for more work in those areas. Sometimes these things are multi layered snd take time and practice to strip away.

2. Telling yourself that travel WILL be unsafe, that all activities you have up because at one point you “thought” they were unsafe. This mindset does not cultivate calm or feelings of safety. It’s part of the black or white thinking that Sarno found common amongst his patients. Cultivating a curious mindset towards perhaps trying or even trying part or being near people doing those activities can still be enjoyable and meaningful. Exploring new things to do is also fun. Cutting yourself short with cant’s, and nevers is not kind nor compassionate to yourself. Why are those tools not working? I’d imagine because you are buying into untrue thoughts and anxieties.

#3 anticipatory anxiety is a thing. It is similar to social anxiety with similar thought patterns and physical emotional sensations. I can get terrible travel anxiety until the day I travel, when all control is handed over to the powers that be. When traveling I have accomplished amazing fears! Hiking slippery waterfalls, hiked the mountains on advanced trails for several miles, even eaten foods that once I could not. Did I have some symptoms? Yes! But a drink at the tiki bar with friendly strangers absorbed my attention. Still I could not go in the pool because my nervous system still currently really dislikes that. Big deal! Look at all the other things I could do.
Traveling for me has many unsafe components, especially internationally but I have also done that.
Facing our fears no matter what is a huge part of recovery. Even if we are scared, uncomfortable, anxious, worried - it’s a chance to show the brain, mind and body that we are not victims and can do hard things.

 

[Bealillie]

Thanks ,

 

[Booble]

ut with my symptoms, very hard for me to travel back to the United States and even hope for any improvement once I get home since I've given up all the activities I did before. my favorite season used to be the summer spring and summer and as it's getting warmer, I'm getting more hopeless.

For what it's worth, I've felt that weird "sunburn" feeling. From a symptom relief standpoint, which I hesitate to mention since its much better to focus on the cause and stop it for good that way, but if you put as hot of water that you can stand on it somehow does something to those nerves and reduces the feeling/pain/itch.

More importantly, it seems pretty clear from a third party looking in, that when you say you can't travel back to the US that something deeper and psychological is stopping you from returning to the US. The weird symptoms making you feel like you can't. But why can't you? Does it matter if you have the symptoms while at the airport? While on the plane? While in the taxi? While wherever you go to? Our lizard brain is really, really good at telling us we can't. It's up to you if you want to listen. If whatever is waiting for you in the US is too much for you to bear right now.
Also, it's interesting that you brought up about your favorite season. And again your lizard brain telling you, "Sorry, kiddo, you're not going to enjoy it this year. I'm keeping you down for the count." But why? It's doing a good job of distracting you from something.
I think your lizard wants you to believe that you have left no emotional stone unturned. It's keeping you away from that last bit.
It's time to get back in there and find that hidden anger, rage or temper tantrum, even if it feels silly or trivial as a rational adult.