I had an interesting observation this morning after waking up. I'd just gone to the bathroom and gotten into bed. I could feel a choice in front of me, think about pain or not. I wasn't in pain, but I could feel. that it was calling to me and all I had to do was fall back into it. I tried to keep focus on my breath but I was very conscious of the gravitational pull of observing pain or not. All this time my aches were not present, but I could absolutely feel them waiting for attention so they could spring to life. I wasn't able to stop my attention from going to my pain, but I did keep my focus off it for a couple of minutes. So even though I'm hurting now, and wide awake I'm feeling optimistic about my recovery. I just finished reading The Great Pain Deception and loved it. I feel like for the first time I understand the big picture of TMS.