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Newbie too scared to start the program

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by fluffymugnaini, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. fluffymugnaini

    fluffymugnaini New Member


    I have been suffering from nausea in my upper stomach for the past 15 months. Mainly nausea, but other symptoms include a general weakness in my body, sometimes tiredness. About 8 months into the nausea, I developed pretty bad anxiety (along with this insomnia) which I now battle with alongside the nausea stuff. I've had all the tests, blood tests, stool samples, endoscopy, etc, and as yet everything is coming back saying I am a perfectly healthy 30 year old (Well, apart from a food intolerance test which said I'm intolerant to a bunch of really delicious foods but in any case I know those tests are controversial and also avoiding those foods hasn't made much difference.) I can't really work anymore, a job I love. I find it hard to socialise or exercise like I used to, or just generally be around people who feel normal. I haven't had a day where I feel normal since this started, some days are worse than others but even on good days, I definitely still feel 'not normal.' It's just all a bit shit, really.

    A friend pointed me in the direction of The Mindbody Prescription (reading that book and the structured program healed her from some chronic pain she was having). I've read the book and it's something that I feel hopeful about, that I could have TMS. I'm still currently undergoing tests, still on supplements from a nutritionist, still glug down Gaviscon when the nausea gets really bad even. I guess I keep telling myself it's not a good time to start the program, when I'm still having tests and taking things, as I know I have to fully believe in the diagnosis and stop doing all those things for it to work. But really I think I'm terrified that it won't work. That I'll do the program which I'm really hopeful about, and it won't make a difference to feeling sick all the time. And if that happens then I'll have to accept that I'll have this forever and honestly, I'm not sure I could cope with that.

    So I guess I'm just looking for advice, and encouragement, and a bit of support.

    Thank you in advance
  2. had

    had Peer Supporter

    The feelings are normal and I deal with them daily. I hate having TMS and the other chronic medical issues...admitting you have any of them sucks because denial gives you room to believe it's just some simple, temporary thing that will be gone next week or with some antibiotics etc and by not starting you can postpone the feared failure. Stalling is a life tactic to avoid disappointment. The positive side of things being TMS are that sometimes they are quickly curable. I have far worse issues than just back pain...but I did used to have constant back pain and "strain"s that would put me down for days on top of everything else. I had disc abnormalities on MRIs and surgery was suggested...but I had already been ruined by other orthopedic surgery so refused not because I didn't believe them, but because I couldn't risk more pain. At some point I read one of Sarno's books in a bookstore and my back pain was gone by the end of the book. I then read Dr. Schubiners book and it was even more explanatory with anatomy and physiology and spoke to my scientific mind.

    So this regular back pain with a "structural cause" just stopped in one of the so called "book/knowledge cures". It wouldn't do that if it was due to the discs and knowing this allowed me to accept TMS. Once in a blue moon it came back, and always in some stressful situation, but knowing that I didnt and couldnt have injured it then, and that it hadn't hurt for 6 months at all, proved to me further it was TMS and it would away in hours or a day at best. I've had it exactly twice in 5 years now and both times in severely worrisome times whilst doing nothing physical. I need that kind of proof. I am terrible at the "believing it" part unless I KNOW from trusted and repeated evidence/experience. I don't think it's that simple for most people to just CHOOSE to believe something if they really aren't sure inside...because that subconscious mind knows what you are REALLY thinking despite what you might tell others. That's why I think so many people struggle with so many symptoms long term. Until you are able to believe it more than you doubt it, and honestly so, it's hard to get it to stick inside the grey matter. Lots of humans need experience...they need proof and time. Fear is also one of the biggest blocks, but again it's human and normal and not possible to just avoid and ignore entirely no matter what others say. If they claim to not fear I do not believe them. The best we can do is try.

    I can tell you from personal experience I have seen TMS affect every symptom you listed. I have spent lots of time and money getting all sorts of tests and scopes and diagnoses and was never given a clear answer or any helpful treatment. I eventually just gave up on them and they went away. Probably not the most effective or fastest tactic for TMS but it's the best I can do because for me things like journalling and mantras have no effect for me like they seem to for others. I seem to need to beat the evidence to death, then get worn out fighting it, then I get some relief...and even living this pattern over and over I still start over each time with each issue and the same fears. The fact that actual medical issues do happen as well just confuse things as even just ONE example of a physical problem can undo 100 examples of TMS and push that doubt back in. It's normal...you are normal....just start and see if it works. Maybe you are like me and need it beat into your mind more...maybe you can do the program and fix this in weeks. Only one way to find out...
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2018
    StarCluster and fluffymugnaini like this.
  3. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    What a magnificently adorable name you have. fluffymugnaini. It feels good.

    Angel, please don't fret about this for these are perfectly natural fears. We all both anticipate and dread approaching a 'new cure' because we have been disappointed before. Rest assured that we understand and will do our best to guide and support through this. The wonderful thing about TMS healing is that it can only help and bolster any other method you choose, and it can do no harm.

    Maybe you'd prefer to spend some time reading and chatting on the general forums before turning to the programme. Everyone here is warm and friendly so settle yourself in the knowledge that you can take your time and approach this at your own pace.


    Plum x
    kindle123, fluffymugnaini and Ellen like this.
  4. fluffymugnaini

    fluffymugnaini New Member

    Thank you both. I just wanted to let you know that today I started the program. I am feeling sick as hell and still scared that it won't work, but as you said, only one way to find out...

    Thank you for your responses
    Gembright, BloodMoon and Free of Fear like this.
  5. Free of Fear

    Free of Fear Well known member

    Good for you! : )
  6. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    The beauty of the TMS approach is that you don’t need to be a 100% believer in the beginning. We all had doubts, that’s perfectly normal. But, as you proceed, you will understand and you will have the evidence - simply because it works.
    Have a good journey!
    fluffymugnaini and Free of Fear like this.
  7. Gembright

    Gembright New Member

    What is the program? Please can someone advise? I understand tms as I listened to healing back pain by dr sarno on youtube. But is there a specific plan of action I should be following? This site is a great resource and I'm so glad it gives me the chance to ask questions like this. Thanks in advance.
  8. Free of Fear

    Free of Fear Well known member

    Hi Gembright. Great question. They might be referring to the program on this wiki. I'll include the links below. It's my understanding though that there is no *one* program, but many different approaches, all driven by the idea that whatever you're going through is better understood as a mind-body relationship than as caused by some structural or medical issue (once these are ruled out, of course).

    Here are the two programs from this site:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/forums/structured-educational-program.16/ (Structured Educational Program)

    Here are a few other programs:
    http://www.backincontrol.com/ (Home)
    http://www.neuroplastix.com/ (Home | Neuroplastix)

    Feel free to PM if you have any questions! I'll do my best to answer.
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2018
    BloodMoon likes this.
  9. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    Lots of good advice here.

    Glad your overcoming your fears and started the program.

    One thing that really helps is to be clear about your outcomes and take steps in that direction daily. As you take those steps and see small and big improvements your confidence builds and fest and doubts go away.

    Here’s how I explained it in this interview with Katelyn Michals for the Mindbody Mastery podcast.


    Take care,
    fluffymugnaini likes this.
  10. StarCluster

    StarCluster New Member

    What an incredible, deeply profound statement.
    FredAmir likes this.
  11. had

    had Peer Supporter

    I know lots of deep and profound stuff...nearly all of it told to me at some point by others who are wise, but not really believed until I lived it as I didn't have the exerience to grok it, but dealing with those profound things has always been my weakness/failure/fear. I just wish I could find a way to deal with it, because taking action has more often than not resulted in things getting worse for me. Surgery that was encouraged by the "professionals" I was told to trust, by family and loved ones who said they would stand by me, ruined my life and people bailed. We always frame things as "worth or not worth" the risk but we cannot know what that means until we suffer the outcome. It wasn't worth the risk. Fortunately TMS work isn't going to ruin your life or cost you money you need for survival, so it's at least not a hard choice to TRY it...fear is literally the ONLY reason not to. It cannot ruin your life like so many other things.

    95% of the time, the choices I make with the best information available, result in more pain and problems. For a long time simply stalling to avoid more pain and disappointment was a working tactic, now the walls are closing in and I have to act but am without any path I have faith in. with TMS I seem to fall in a "it works right away or it doesn't" category. I've found no way to deal with the protracted issues. I was probably trying to stall until natural life ended but that is no longer effective...I have reached out to everyone I know and total strangers and still cannot find a solution. most so called experts are no more informed or helpful than anyone else you meet and you learn quite quickly that most people are about themselves regardless of talk, and it's a rare few that are truly caring about you. An easy well to tell who is who is by how they react to their advice not working, if they blame YOU then you can be sure they are go driven, if they exhibit true empathy and try to solve the problem then you know they are legit. I am not special, there are countless people like me and even worse, so not trying to sound self-centered. I just don't know what to do. Stuff doesn't work anymore.
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
  12. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    TMS work is not “it works right away or it doesn’t! Had@. It always takes time. And there will be relapses. Maybe you should give it some time ...
  13. had

    had Peer Supporter

    I have been at this for many years now. I have given it lots of time. In my case it's always been "it works right away or it doesn't". Nothing that wasn't banishable in short order has gone way with TMS work of any nature over any length of time. Sometimes some longer term stuff has gone away years on when something else "takes it place" so to speak...or rarely just disappeared without any clear cause a year on etc. But "doing the work" has never resulted in any noticable outcome. I get annoyed when people act like you are "doing it wrong" when you note the conventional wisdom of journalling, programs, "self care" etc hasn't done much for you.
  14. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    Ok, had@ I understand. I didn’t say that you are doing it wrong - I hope my post didn’t imply that.
    had likes this.
  15. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    I think one thing we all can learn from our TMS experience is that we need to become more flexible in our thinking and in your approach to life and problem solving. Of course, it requires daily practice starting with small issues that you deal with daily. As you keep training your mind that way, you can tackle and get much better results with more serious issues.

    One important factor is learn to turn stress and tension in our lives into sources of energy and excitement. That can go a long way to reduce accumulation of tension and the resulting pain. I did a free webinars on that before and once I have time I hope to do it again because it can really help to change how we react to life events and problems in a positive, constructive way on the subconscious level.

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