runnergirl773
New Member
Hello there! Long-time listener, first-time caller 
My pain story began in 2015 with arm and rotator cuff pain, with neck, upper trap and back pain added to the mix regularly, but not constantly. I tried numerous treatments and consulted several doctors, undergoing diagnostic testing. Ultimately, I elected to have surgery Dec. 6, 2018 to repair a tear in my left rotator cuff.
Surgery, recovery, and rehabilitation were a breeze for me, thankfully. It didn’t take long for the range of motion in my left arm to get back to 100%. However, the neck and upper trap still bothered me daily, and sometimes excruciatingly. I knew surgery might not solve the neck pain, but it was frustrating nonetheless when the pain remained, not slowing down in frequency or intensity. I was doing all of the exercises my physical therapist laid out for me religiously. I didn’t understand why nothing was changing.
Then my husband gave me Healing Back Pain. I was hopeful, but skeptical.
I read the book twice. I marked it up, starred passages, and found myself saying, “Yes! This is me!” I devoured Dr. Sarno’s follow up The Mindbody Prescription as well. I felt better and was telling everyone I knew about the book.
That was the summer of 2019. Fast forward to December 2020, and I’ve found myself in pain again. I wake up sore. I started the routine again of heat, ice, ibuprofen, pillow switching, foam rolling, Theracane, etc. I had forgotten the principles of TMS. So here I am, revisiting the books, journaling, reflecting.
For the last week, I have been getting up every morning before everyone else to spend 20-30 minutes reviewing Sarno’s work or journaling or visiting this forum. I’ve noticed the pain I feel upon waking up is less. But I do still have pain throughout the day, as I’ll explain.
I read stories of those who are immobilized by the pain and that has not been my case. I’m still able to exercise and do pretty much everything I want. Perhaps that’s why this has taken me more than a year to figure out. The pain is there, but it’s not crippling. I feel it a lot when sitting at my desk, driving, and, oddly when I’m sitting at swim watching my kids. I always blamed the terrible chairs there, but it’s a mere 25 minutes; that shouldn’t be painful. Upon further reflection, I wonder if it’s because it’s 25 minutes where I’d love to “check out” and read my book, but I feel the tug of wanting to be a “good” parent and making sure I’m watching them, waving every now and then so they know I see them. My mind says “pay attention to your kids! Be a good parent!” And then I feel bad because that’s not exactly what I want to be doing. I just want to read my book and escape.
I’m a classic goodist/perfectionist. I care way too much what people think of me and there are certain areas where things have to be perfect. Parenting is an area where I get in my head A LOT. I want to be a good parent. I love my kids so much, and they are great kids. But any area where they may be deficient I see as a parenting failure. I also look at myself and I don’t want them to be here in 30 years. I worry that I am screwing them up, or that they will develop anxious tendencies like me.
I struggle with decisions. If we’re deciding where to order food from, I often think of what everyone else wants, or what is the healthiest first; not what I really want which is pizza or greasy fries . I usually end up saying to my husband, “I don’t care, you pick.” Then, I don’t have to make a decision.
I’m a freelance writer and editor; my husband is the income provider for our household but I have a few clients from the days when I was working full time. I have about 8 hours of work per week. I view this as extra and it meets my need to contribute financially to the family. I also want to keep active in my profession so if I need to get back to full-time work, I will still be relevant. I don’t mind the work; but because I’m a perfectionist I do feel like when I sit down to write an article it takes me way longer than it should have. I feel proud of the articles I write.
I must say my husband is completely supportive and also accepts TMS theory. He doesn’t suffer from these issues, but has read the book and watched “All The Rage.” I feel blessed that he “gets it.”
Anyway, if you’ve read all of this, God bless. I rarely put myself out there but I have found comfort in reading all of your stories and posts. I thought perhaps someone may see themself in the things I’ve been experiencing. Thanks for "listening."
My pain story began in 2015 with arm and rotator cuff pain, with neck, upper trap and back pain added to the mix regularly, but not constantly. I tried numerous treatments and consulted several doctors, undergoing diagnostic testing. Ultimately, I elected to have surgery Dec. 6, 2018 to repair a tear in my left rotator cuff.
Surgery, recovery, and rehabilitation were a breeze for me, thankfully. It didn’t take long for the range of motion in my left arm to get back to 100%. However, the neck and upper trap still bothered me daily, and sometimes excruciatingly. I knew surgery might not solve the neck pain, but it was frustrating nonetheless when the pain remained, not slowing down in frequency or intensity. I was doing all of the exercises my physical therapist laid out for me religiously. I didn’t understand why nothing was changing.
Then my husband gave me Healing Back Pain. I was hopeful, but skeptical.
I read the book twice. I marked it up, starred passages, and found myself saying, “Yes! This is me!” I devoured Dr. Sarno’s follow up The Mindbody Prescription as well. I felt better and was telling everyone I knew about the book.
That was the summer of 2019. Fast forward to December 2020, and I’ve found myself in pain again. I wake up sore. I started the routine again of heat, ice, ibuprofen, pillow switching, foam rolling, Theracane, etc. I had forgotten the principles of TMS. So here I am, revisiting the books, journaling, reflecting.
For the last week, I have been getting up every morning before everyone else to spend 20-30 minutes reviewing Sarno’s work or journaling or visiting this forum. I’ve noticed the pain I feel upon waking up is less. But I do still have pain throughout the day, as I’ll explain.
I read stories of those who are immobilized by the pain and that has not been my case. I’m still able to exercise and do pretty much everything I want. Perhaps that’s why this has taken me more than a year to figure out. The pain is there, but it’s not crippling. I feel it a lot when sitting at my desk, driving, and, oddly when I’m sitting at swim watching my kids. I always blamed the terrible chairs there, but it’s a mere 25 minutes; that shouldn’t be painful. Upon further reflection, I wonder if it’s because it’s 25 minutes where I’d love to “check out” and read my book, but I feel the tug of wanting to be a “good” parent and making sure I’m watching them, waving every now and then so they know I see them. My mind says “pay attention to your kids! Be a good parent!” And then I feel bad because that’s not exactly what I want to be doing. I just want to read my book and escape.
I’m a classic goodist/perfectionist. I care way too much what people think of me and there are certain areas where things have to be perfect. Parenting is an area where I get in my head A LOT. I want to be a good parent. I love my kids so much, and they are great kids. But any area where they may be deficient I see as a parenting failure. I also look at myself and I don’t want them to be here in 30 years. I worry that I am screwing them up, or that they will develop anxious tendencies like me.
I struggle with decisions. If we’re deciding where to order food from, I often think of what everyone else wants, or what is the healthiest first; not what I really want which is pizza or greasy fries . I usually end up saying to my husband, “I don’t care, you pick.” Then, I don’t have to make a decision.
I’m a freelance writer and editor; my husband is the income provider for our household but I have a few clients from the days when I was working full time. I have about 8 hours of work per week. I view this as extra and it meets my need to contribute financially to the family. I also want to keep active in my profession so if I need to get back to full-time work, I will still be relevant. I don’t mind the work; but because I’m a perfectionist I do feel like when I sit down to write an article it takes me way longer than it should have. I feel proud of the articles I write.
I must say my husband is completely supportive and also accepts TMS theory. He doesn’t suffer from these issues, but has read the book and watched “All The Rage.” I feel blessed that he “gets it.”
Anyway, if you’ve read all of this, God bless. I rarely put myself out there but I have found comfort in reading all of your stories and posts. I thought perhaps someone may see themself in the things I’ve been experiencing. Thanks for "listening."
