Mrs_Mystery
Newcomer
Hello. My daughter recommended that I write this out, in hopes of getting some insight into what I'm going through. I really hope to get some help. I'm open to the idea that I have TMS, but I've always thought I had other issues, so I know it may take time to go through the process and fully understand these concepts.
I'm 71 years old. I have had what I guess can be called episodes of unexplained health symptoms twice before. Eight years ago, and then eight years before that. This time, I'm older, so it worries me more, as I am scared that my body cannot handle it again. Each of those two other times, I had unexplained weight loss, as well as being very anxious, hyper and having insomnia. Each of those previous times, I went to all sorts of doctors and they were never able to figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, I self diagnosed myself, thinking I had a problem with the acid/base content of my stomach and that I wasn't digesting my food for some reason. I tried all sort of different foods, and eventually sort of snapped myself back into a normal state, and over time regained the weight back, but it took a couple of years each time.
It's a little different this time, but also pretty similar. I've always thought I have struggled with a Candida issue, so for the last 45 years I have held myself to a very strict diet. Although, I'm starting to doubt a lot this time, and my daughter thinks I may be struggling with TMS and that many of my problems over my lifetime could have had a TMS component, or as difficult as it may be for me to believe, could be caused entirely by TMS.
This time, it started about 2 and a half months ago. My husband went in for a heart procedure, and ended up having a harder recovery than we had anticipated. One day he collapsed on the floor in our dining room, and his eyes were open, and he was unresponsive. I thought he had died. He is okay now, although, still struggles with afib. He may be going into another procedure in a few months. Needless to say, that was horrible and I developed this about a month or so after. Also, in general I am affected by my daughter and son-in-law who live with us and are having trouble getting a job. Financial worries also affect me very strongly, which I have been dealing with almost my entire adult life, while married to my husband. My daughter had horrible back pain in her teens and early twenties, and I found Dr. Sarno's book for her, and she manged to cure herself after struggling for almost a decade and being practically bedridden for two years. She is a huge advocate for TMS now and has a similar personality to me. Although, I would say I have an even more TMS personality than she does, because she at least talks about her feelings, I just hold everything in, and am extremely demanding upon myself. I do everything in the house. And now that my husband has a heart condition, I feel bad about asking him to do anything to help.
Sorry if this is a little hard to follow, I'm definitely not in a good state of mind, and some of this may be a bit disjointed. Two months ago I started to have bowel troubles. Floating, sliminess. Really bad intestinal cramps. My daughter had been dealing with a yeast infection before this started, and about a week after she complained to me about it, I started to have similar irritation, but with my bowels. Maybe a trigger? I also have started losing weight (already 10 pounds) and I'm pretty thin to begin with, so while I was 5'6" and 108 pounds, I'm now about 98 pounds. Again, the weight loss portion of this happened the same way 8 and 16 years ago. Also, like those times, I am extremely hyper and anxious. My heartbeat will go up and down. I have trouble staying asleep and if I get 3 hours in a night, that's lucky. I've been also itchy all over my body at times. Which is a new symptom. I've been to the doctor, and they've done a bunch of tests, but all my blood work came back normal, and my doctor doesn't know what to tell me. They are again stumped
The anxiety is extra bad this time and I've been getting very depressed and morbid. I worry that I'm not strong enough at 70 to weather this episode, like I did 8 years ago. Oddly enough, a few weeks before this all started I thought to myself, "It's been 8 years again, I really hope I don't get this again. I can deal with anything but that." And then it happened.
I hate feeling this way. It's horrible. The feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin, is what I can only describe as feeling like I'm not digesting my food, and the weight loss. I'm quite frankly terrified. My fallback thinking is that I have a Candida problem, that got out of hand, because I was drinking really basic pH water for a couple of weeks and then I stopped digesting my food. I've been trying to take a little lemon in my water, sometimes it makes me feel better, sometimes worse. My husband gives me garlic, sometimes better sometimes worse. I've tried yogurt, kefir, and it all works the first time, maybe the second, and then stops working, or makes things worse. My daughter tells me I may be going down the rabbit hole with a whole bunch of placebos.
I do realize I am the exact TMS personality, and doctors haven't been able to help me. Is this Candida, some sort of intestinal/stomach problem (IBS), or is it TMS? I don't know. And I really don't know where to turn, or what to do, at this point. It is very hard, when I get really anxious and hyper to even do anything, but obsess over how I feel, and dread the future.
Any help you can send my way, would be very much appreciated. I was hoping to find others who have had my symptoms, so I know I'm not alone with this. Which it how I have felt like my whole life, because I've never met anyone else, or any doctor, who has been able to tell me they've dealt with anything like this, when all the tests come back okay.
Thank you for your time and responses. I hope I can start going in a more positive direction, with the help of this amazing community.
I'm 71 years old. I have had what I guess can be called episodes of unexplained health symptoms twice before. Eight years ago, and then eight years before that. This time, I'm older, so it worries me more, as I am scared that my body cannot handle it again. Each of those two other times, I had unexplained weight loss, as well as being very anxious, hyper and having insomnia. Each of those previous times, I went to all sorts of doctors and they were never able to figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, I self diagnosed myself, thinking I had a problem with the acid/base content of my stomach and that I wasn't digesting my food for some reason. I tried all sort of different foods, and eventually sort of snapped myself back into a normal state, and over time regained the weight back, but it took a couple of years each time.
It's a little different this time, but also pretty similar. I've always thought I have struggled with a Candida issue, so for the last 45 years I have held myself to a very strict diet. Although, I'm starting to doubt a lot this time, and my daughter thinks I may be struggling with TMS and that many of my problems over my lifetime could have had a TMS component, or as difficult as it may be for me to believe, could be caused entirely by TMS.
This time, it started about 2 and a half months ago. My husband went in for a heart procedure, and ended up having a harder recovery than we had anticipated. One day he collapsed on the floor in our dining room, and his eyes were open, and he was unresponsive. I thought he had died. He is okay now, although, still struggles with afib. He may be going into another procedure in a few months. Needless to say, that was horrible and I developed this about a month or so after. Also, in general I am affected by my daughter and son-in-law who live with us and are having trouble getting a job. Financial worries also affect me very strongly, which I have been dealing with almost my entire adult life, while married to my husband. My daughter had horrible back pain in her teens and early twenties, and I found Dr. Sarno's book for her, and she manged to cure herself after struggling for almost a decade and being practically bedridden for two years. She is a huge advocate for TMS now and has a similar personality to me. Although, I would say I have an even more TMS personality than she does, because she at least talks about her feelings, I just hold everything in, and am extremely demanding upon myself. I do everything in the house. And now that my husband has a heart condition, I feel bad about asking him to do anything to help.
Sorry if this is a little hard to follow, I'm definitely not in a good state of mind, and some of this may be a bit disjointed. Two months ago I started to have bowel troubles. Floating, sliminess. Really bad intestinal cramps. My daughter had been dealing with a yeast infection before this started, and about a week after she complained to me about it, I started to have similar irritation, but with my bowels. Maybe a trigger? I also have started losing weight (already 10 pounds) and I'm pretty thin to begin with, so while I was 5'6" and 108 pounds, I'm now about 98 pounds. Again, the weight loss portion of this happened the same way 8 and 16 years ago. Also, like those times, I am extremely hyper and anxious. My heartbeat will go up and down. I have trouble staying asleep and if I get 3 hours in a night, that's lucky. I've been also itchy all over my body at times. Which is a new symptom. I've been to the doctor, and they've done a bunch of tests, but all my blood work came back normal, and my doctor doesn't know what to tell me. They are again stumped
The anxiety is extra bad this time and I've been getting very depressed and morbid. I worry that I'm not strong enough at 70 to weather this episode, like I did 8 years ago. Oddly enough, a few weeks before this all started I thought to myself, "It's been 8 years again, I really hope I don't get this again. I can deal with anything but that." And then it happened.
I hate feeling this way. It's horrible. The feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin, is what I can only describe as feeling like I'm not digesting my food, and the weight loss. I'm quite frankly terrified. My fallback thinking is that I have a Candida problem, that got out of hand, because I was drinking really basic pH water for a couple of weeks and then I stopped digesting my food. I've been trying to take a little lemon in my water, sometimes it makes me feel better, sometimes worse. My husband gives me garlic, sometimes better sometimes worse. I've tried yogurt, kefir, and it all works the first time, maybe the second, and then stops working, or makes things worse. My daughter tells me I may be going down the rabbit hole with a whole bunch of placebos.
I do realize I am the exact TMS personality, and doctors haven't been able to help me. Is this Candida, some sort of intestinal/stomach problem (IBS), or is it TMS? I don't know. And I really don't know where to turn, or what to do, at this point. It is very hard, when I get really anxious and hyper to even do anything, but obsess over how I feel, and dread the future.
Any help you can send my way, would be very much appreciated. I was hoping to find others who have had my symptoms, so I know I'm not alone with this. Which it how I have felt like my whole life, because I've never met anyone else, or any doctor, who has been able to tell me they've dealt with anything like this, when all the tests come back okay.
Thank you for your time and responses. I hope I can start going in a more positive direction, with the help of this amazing community.
Made no sense. Good luck to you. There are many myths to be busted here for sure, but Dr. Sarno wasn't also a gastroenterologist unfortunately... the basic thing is the same though in that you are feeling like you don't function right physically, but where you are really suffering is psychologically and emotionally.