New symptom (RSI) after 5 years of Chronic Headaches - TMS?!

yarborough

New Member
hi, i have a question and hope maybe some of you can help me out.

i’m 33 and have been dealing with chronic headaches for almost five years now, which for the past few years i’ve felt pretty sure are TMS. it all started after my covid vaccination in may 2021. at first i had pretty normal side effects, like dizziness and a feverish feeling, but then it kind of turned into chronic headaches.

in the first months and years i did all the usual tests and workups: blood tests, different alternative medicine approaches, various off-label medications, and so on. after about a year and a half i came across TMS, and it honestly felt like it fit my situation perfectly, which was really reassuring. thankfully i never had to deal with fatigue. my symptoms have been there every day and are definitely very annoying and limiting, but i’ve also always had symptom-free hours, for example during exercise or sometimes while bathing. still, in five years i haven’t had a single completely symptom-free day.

after finding TMS, i read a lot of books and tried different coaches and programs. the approach that made the most sense to me was Dan Buglio’s, because it felt less like obsessing over meditation or strict routines and more like adopting the mindset that there is nothing to fix, that it’s okay, that you meet the pain without getting angry at it, and so on.

unfortunately, that and other things never really worked the way i hoped, and i keep wondering why, because compared to other people my symptoms don’t even seem that severe. i can work out, i’ve traveled, i’ve worked, so i’m doing a lot of things that should basically signal safety to my brain. i’m physically fit too. so i keep wondering why i can’t seem to get past these last 15 percent, or why i’ve basically been stuck on a plateau for five years.

at the same time, i’ve definitely noticed that my emotions play a huge role. when i’ve been sad, dealing with relationship problems, breakups, or a lot of stress, the symptoms got noticeably worse. so there clearly does seem to be some kind of trigger.

last year, after a very difficult breakup, i decided to step away from work for a few months to see whether that would help. i traveled and also started a psychosomatic rehab program. now all of that is over, and unfortunately i’m at a point where i’d say i actually feel a bit worse than i did five or six months ago, which feels really strange. even during rehab i had a lot of headaches, even though i didn’t really feel especially uncomfortable there.

and this is the main reason i’m posting now: i think i may have developed a new symptom. up until now it was mostly headaches, dizziness, body aches, a bit of tinnitus, and also this recurring pain at the injection site from the vaccine, which is one of the reasons i felt so convinced this had to be TMS.

but a few weeks ago, maybe five weeks ago, i noticed a slight weakness in my right hand while playing piano. i’ve played piano and guitar for almost my whole life, and i also work out, and i’ve never had problems like this before. at first i didn’t think much of it and just kept going, but there was still this uncomfortable feeling in my right hand.

then i came home from rehab and just continued life as usual, and i noticed the weakness seemed to get a bit stronger. i’ve also been doing regular workouts for about a year now. nothing extreme, just normal workouts, and i kept doing them during rehab too. the strange thing is that during rehab my headaches were worse, but i was doing less laptop work, and i’d say also a bit less guitar and piano than usual. i still worked out, but not hard, actually a bit less intensely than normal. so that was basically the time when this new symptom first showed up.

then after i got home, it got worse. work started again too, even with reduced hours, and i noticed i suddenly even had pain while typing, first on the right side and then slightly on the left too. my first thought was, shit, what is this now, RSI or something? then i read that RSI can also be TMS, which reassured me a bit. i stopped exercising for a week or two, but then thought that probably didn’t make much sense, so i just started working out again and tried not to give it too much attention.

at the same time, i was also under a lot of emotional stress. a lot came together at once: going back to work, emotional stress involving a woman, feeling overwhelmed, pressure, all of that. i really have to say that in the last two or three weeks i’ve been putting a huge amount of pressure on myself. so in that sense it would make sense that this symptom is showing up now.

on the other hand, over the last five years there were definitely other times when i put myself under a lot of pressure, including before i even knew about TMS, and it didn’t seem this bad back then.

so now i’m at a point where i honestly don’t know how to move forward. i’ve started reading some new books and am also trying Nicole Sachs’ journaling approach, because i’ve never really tried that before and i do feel like i have a lot inside me that probably needs to come out. so maybe that makes sense. i don’t notice any real change yet after three days of journaling, but at least i actually enjoy writing things out.

my question is mainly this, and i guess i’m mostly looking for some reassurance or maybe just your honest opinion on how to handle the hand symptoms. i feel like i can still work, but i really do notice weakness in my hands when playing guitar, playing piano, holding my phone, and even mild pain, also when playing basketball. i’ve still continued my workouts, but i keep wondering what actually makes sense here.

i’ve scheduled an appointment with an orthopedist just in case, although i’m not even sure what they’re really going to tell me. and part of me thinks it would be a pretty huge coincidence if i suddenly had pain in my right hand and forearm, and now even a bit in the left too, even though i haven’t dramatically increased my workouts, haven’t played more piano or guitar than usual, and if anything have done the same amount or even less pc work than usual.

is that enough to say this is TMS? because right now i honestly feel like there’s a 95 percent chance it is. and if that’s the case, should i still keep training, playing guitar, playing piano, even if it hurts? or what would you guys suggest?

i hope this makes sense and that maybe some of you can help me out. thanks a lot.
 
Hi @yarborough welcomea

I hope you don’t mind—I found your post a bit long to take in fully, so I used Perplexity.ai to generate a summary. This is what it came up with, and I hope it’s a fair and accurate précis (my responses to your questions are after the précis):

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33-year-old with 5 years of daily headaches they believe are TMS (mind-body), triggered after a COVID vaccine. Symptoms fluctuate and clearly worsen with emotional stress, but haven’t fully resolved despite trying TMS approaches.

Recently, under increased stress (work + relationship), they developed new symptoms: hand weakness and pain (affecting piano, typing, workouts), now spreading slightly to the other hand. No clear physical overuse trigger.

They said they’ve scheduled an appointment with an orthopedist, but haven’t had it yet.

They also mentioned doing extensive medical tests earlier in the illness (blood tests, treatments, etc.), though that was mainly for the headaches rather than the new hand symptoms.

They’ve tried quite a broad mix over the years:

  • Medical route: Blood tests, general workups, medications, and some alternative treatments early on.
  • TMS education: Read books and learned about mind-body/TMS concepts.
  • Coaches & programs: Worked with different TMS-style practitioners.
  • Dan Buglio’s approach: Focus on mindset—accepting symptoms, not trying to “fix” them, reducing fear/anger toward pain.
  • Psychosomatic rehab program: Attended a structured program during a break from work.
  • Lifestyle exposure: Continued exercising, working, travelling—trying to signal safety to the brain.
  • Recently started: Nicole Sachs-style journaling to process emotions.
Despite all that, they feel stuck on a plateau with only partial improvement.

They’re unsure if this is still TMS or something physical, feel stuck on a long plateau, and are asking:

  1. Is it reasonable to assume this new hand issue is TMS?
  2. Should they keep using their hands normally (exercise, instruments) despite pain?
  3. What’s the best way to move forward after limited progress with prior approaches?
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Response to #1: It does sound like mind-body/TMS, but the proviso of this forum always is that you get medical clearance first as we are not medical professionals. (While you're waiting for that to happen, although I appreciate you will have referred to your hand pain/discomfort as "RSI" for quickness and ease of description, try not to think of it as Repetitive Strain Injury, which can reinforce the idea of a physical problem—when it's likely TMS-related instead.)

Response to #2: If using your hands for certain things brings on more of an “ouch!” type pain (a sharper, more warning-like sensation), then it’s sensible to be a bit cautious and use your judgement. If it’s more of an “ew” feeling—uncomfortable, stiff, or unpleasant but not truly painful—then it may generally be fine to carry on with your normal activities. Ultimately though, it’s your body, so it’s your call. (I once went for a consultation with an orthopaedic (upper limb) specialist about a frozen shoulder that had some arthritic changes on X-ray, and he explained that “ouch! vs ew” rule of thumb (pun not intended) for joint issues, so that’s where I got that from.)

If you decide to refrain from doing some or all non-essential things but then it turns out it's actually mind-body/TMS, unfortunately it's true that it might make your brain view and wire in neurplastically those activities as being “dangerous,” but that cannot be helped and you can work on that later by “baby stepping” your way back to doing them—“baby stepping” to “fly under the radar” and not scare your brain. (I've gone from totally bedridden to functioning pretty well by comparison by taking that kind of approach.)

Response to #3: I would suggest you try practising mindfulness/meditation/breathing techniques because of what you say here...
the approach that made the most sense to me was Dan Buglio’s, because it felt less like obsessing over meditation or strict routines
Whilst I get what you're saying and why you are saying it, and it can be good to do what gels with us personally as that means we are more likely to stick to it, the problem is that TMSing brains have the knack of directing away from and essentially rejecting exactly what needs to be done for us as unique individuals to change our life and particular mindset (because that's what recovery from mind-body/TMS requires; we're not working on our symptoms themselves). Practising mindfulness/meditation/breathing techniques doesn’t have to be strict or fuel for obsessing. I just tag some breathing techniques and mindfulness onto ordinary parts of the day—for example, I take a couple of minutes to practise mindful breathing (just lengthening a few of my out-breaths) when I visit the bathroom or when I’m waiting for my lunch to heat up on the stove. I'd encourage you to experiment with these kind of techniques. Something like practising tai chi or chi gong might hit the spot for you to calm your brain and nervous system.

On a personal note, for what it's worth, I once had excruciating hand stiffness and pain for many months; it was like a truck had run over my dominant hand (and I'm not exaggerating one iota—it was horrendous!). I believed it was mind-body/TMS and I just got on with things the best I could despite the disability. Dr Sarno said not to use aids of any kind, but I had no option because wearing a wrist and thumb brace enabled me to use a couple of my fingers—otherwise I couldn’t function. (I think the key thing was that I didn't view the brace as being in any way 'curative'.) So that’s what I did, and eventually, very gradually, the pain went away and hasn’t returned.
 
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@yarborough
Yes, this can be—and probably is 100% TMS. It’s a pattern that a lot of people have. I have 17 symptoms, some of which have gone, but the very last ones were what you described in your hands. It’s pretty common for some people to get this and as they heal, it will go away.

Just an FYI, orthopedics will scare the poop out of you, So be prepared for that.

Someone on the forum (@TG957) who had this same thing healed completely, and she wrote a book about it and all of her other symptoms, It’s called, Defying the Verdict, by Tamara Gurin. I’ve read it several times and it’s been very inspiring for me.

I think getting these kinds of symptoms are common with musicians and writers (I’m a writer who was greatly overdoing everything and pushing myself too hard when my hand symptoms came.) You have to unravel this from the beginning you have to figure out what you are doing to yourself, what kind of pressure you’re putting yourself under; you have to rearrange your whole life so that you aren’t abusing yourself and then your body won’t have to warn you. It’s a process and it’s a lot of hard work. I’m not out of the woods yet, so I can’t really be an example this time of healing (yet). But in 2017, I had numb and tingling hands that were completely healed from reading Sarno for the first time. It was a book healing for me. But I remained under the same kind of stress.. so the symptoms returned.
 
I 100% agree to read Defying the Verdict! It was written like one big success story from a first person point of view. It really encouraged me to keep going and believing it is TMS even when my symptoms were the highest.
 
thanks everyone. that really helped me. i postponed the doctors appointment for another 2 weeks since i already saw some more signs. i was playing basketball a week ago and noticed that my hands were bothering me. i did 2 worksouts the week after it, one which contained quite some load on my arms and hands. went to play basketball again last saturday and did not think about my hands at all.. which is a great sign i guess? played also a bit piano and guitar and had the feeling its less bothering than before. i also have the feeling these weird hands feeling/pain is somehow merging with my general body ache that sometimes arises together with the headaches. now i am working again and my right hand hurts but i guess my experiences are still a win since it points to TMS ? :)

thanks for the suggestion, i will check that book out!!!
 
Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out again because I still feel a bit stuck.

I’ve known about TMS for over three years, and from fairly early on I felt that this was probably TMS. Since then I’ve really tried not to overfocus on it or make my life smaller because of it. I’ve continued playing piano when I want to, kept doing workouts, traveled alone, played concerts, reached important milestones, and have actually gotten fitter and stronger over the last few years. Mentally, I’m generally doing okay, also because I can still live a good and meaningful life.

What’s hard right now is that my hand symptoms have been there for months, and after more than four years I suddenly developed new symptoms. The weakness in both hands is especially unsettling because it affects my piano playing, which means a lot to me. I also have mild pain most of the time. What confuses me is that even though I’ve tried not to be fearful and have mostly kept living normally, it still hasn’t really improved. Sometimes it even seems to get worse for a few days, like after this past weekend.

Interestingly, I spent the weekend in my hometown and noticed again that it seems to affect me emotionally on some level, even though I’m happy to be there. My headaches got worse, but especially my hand pain increased too. I still have an MRI scheduled to rule some things out, but this also makes me think that my hand symptoms may be TMS as well. The strange part is that the general flu-like aching sensation I’ve often had in my arms, shoulders, or head now feels like it has moved into my hands.

I’ve read the recommended book, but I still don’t really know how to move forward. I feel stuck between trying to just live my life and not overanalyze or go into fixing mode, while at the same time wondering why, almost five years in, I feel worse in some ways than I did before, mainly because of my hands.

If anyone has been in a similar place, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I’d also be open to chatting directly, because right now it feels hard not to talk to someone about this.
 
Hi @yarborough
You might want to try this workbook:
https://a.co/d/07zCMZBD

Pain Reprocessing Therapy is helping me. And I’ve been stuck for a while. But the trick is to stick with it!

More info on this modality can be learned here on the wiki under the Pain Recovery Program. In addition, Alan Gordon’s book, The Way Out, is good. Alan Gordon formulated the Pain Reprocessing Therapy method, and it has been proven to work in scientific studies.
 
I’ve read the recommended book, but I still don’t really know how to move forward. I feel stuck between trying to just live my life and not overanalyze or go into fixing mode, while at the same time wondering why, almost five years in, I feel worse in some ways than I did before, mainly because of my hands.

It's all about self-compassion and greater authenticity to me at the end of the day - that's the ultimate creator of safety when it comes to broader life (you often need both forms of safety - safety overall and safety as it relates to the symptoms). If I haven't seen progress over a decent period of time, I'd ask myself "Am I treating myself better/am I more authentic now compared to then?".

It's good to get back to living life, but the pain might be signalling that something needs to change as that life was what got you into pain in the first place. Now, I don't mean that something tangible necessarily needs to change in life (such as a job, a relationship etc.), it might, but like I said it's more about treating yourself better and being more authentic (more of an internal change). It might involve taking pressure off of yourself to be perfect, it might mean saying no more and not just saying yes out of obligation. You're really in the best position to determine how you may treat yourself less than ideally and in turn what the pain might be trying to signal (how the symptoms came on in the first place can give us clues here).

Interestingly, I spent the weekend in my hometown and noticed again that it seems to affect me emotionally on some level, even though I’m happy to be there. My headaches got worse, but especially my hand pain increased too.

This is a great example - as TMS exists in the conflict (emotional acceptance is one of the biggest factors to achieving greater authenticity and self-compassion). Two things can be true (so the conflict itself is ok and isn't the problem per se), and it's important to be comfortable with that (it affected you emotionally, and you were also happy to be there). Having said that, most TMSers (myself included) get too caught up in what we "should" do and how we "should" feel - and we beat ourselves up for our "ugly" and "shameful" thoughts (which are often how we really feel), they then get repressed and cause symptoms (we don't allow the conflict). What we "should" do or think is the strict inner parent beating down on our inner child (what we want and how we truly feel) - the inner child protests in the form of symptoms. We take sides too much with the "should".

I'm making assumptions, but based on what I've seen and assuming this is TMS, I would be quite confident in saying that you feel as if you "should" be happy to be there - and even though you might feel that way to some extent (I'm not denying that), it may be exaggerated out of obligation. When you said it affects you on some level, you probably can't be more specific as to how it does feel because you don't want to feel that alternate way (you're blocked). The inner parent in you is saying "you should just be happy to be there" and is shaming countering thoughts - you might not be able to access the other feelings because there is some unconscious guilt around having them in the first place. I.e. You'd feel guilty and shameful at potential thoughts around wanting to be somewhere else (even if that doesn't apply and I've assumed too much, it's a good example). TMS recovery involves understanding that no thoughts and feelings are bad - they are your internal experiences and aren't a reflection of your morality - as such, it's important to validate them all (doesn't mean you need to agree with them on a moral level) and not beat yourself up. If you do validate them all, then there's no need for repression - your inner child is validated and soothed because you've validated your full emotional experience.

Hopefully that helps :) Even if it the example isn't spot on - please take the ideas on board as this acceptance of all of our emotions (allowing emotional conflict without taking sides if that makes sense) is a massive factor in greater self-compassion and greater authenticity, which leads to the safety in which symptoms can't survive :)
 
@Adam Coloretti (coach)

thank you so much for your detailed reply and for taking the time. i think you’re really close with a lot of your points, and i definitely recognize myself in much of what you wrote.

what i struggle with, though, is that sometimes i think the deeper you go into things, the more you will always find those feelings anyway, just because life is the way it is. and then i keep wondering where this “fixing mode” actually starts, which so many people talk about, and where i’m actually digging up the “right” thing, so to speak.

for example, coaches like dan buglio, whose approach i really respect, seem to take a much more simple and almost matter-of-fact approach. and i sometimes think, well, i’m actually lucky that i function pretty well overall, and that through my actions alone i should be able to show my body a lot of safety. if i work out, go to a party, travel alone, go on vacation by myself, do all these things, why is that not enough, if it seems to be enough for so many other people, including people coming from much more difficult situations?

at the same time, of course, i keep asking myself why i seem to have developed another symptom over the last few months, one that for the first time is really limiting me. my headaches are annoying, yes, but i often feel like i can still move past them. for example, when i’m making music or after i’ve played a concert, it kind of overshadows the headaches and i can go for hours without even thinking about them.

but now with my hands, i notice that they get tired really quickly and i actually feel physically limited, and that really gets to me. there’s a pretty nasty feeling in me that says: why is this happening now, even though i’m already doing the work? for example, i also tried journaling every day for five weeks using nicole sachs’ method, and still i feel like things are getting worse rather than better.

and then there’s this other voice in me that goes back to dan buglio’s perspective and says: maybe this is too much fixing mode again, maybe i’m getting too rigid and too focused on trying to solve it. maybe you have some thoughts on that as well :)

thank you again, and have a nice week.
 
No worries! Given I consider myself both a success story of Dan as well as Nicole (they both helped me tremendously- I really blended their approaches in order to recover), I'll answer on that basis :)

what i struggle with, though, is that sometimes i think the deeper you go into things, the more you will always find those feelings anyway, just because life is the way it is. and then i keep wondering where this “fixing mode” actually starts, which so many people talk about, and where i’m actually digging up the “right” thing, so to speak.

I get what you mean, and I think it's wise to be aware of this risk. Life is the way it is, but at the same time I think you do need to appreciate if you do genuinely associate with the typical TMS traits, people-pleasing, perfectionism etc. Life is the way it is for sure, and there's no getting around that, but that doesn't mean that most TMSers don't have a dysfunctional relationship with reality if I can put it that way. Just because putting ridiculous amounts of pressure on oneself (as an example) is normal in the TMS community, it doesn't mean that it's healthy nor that it's normal more broadly. I say normal and I am in no way trying to place blame on us for having those traits (some people have been through horrible experiences and these traits never come out of nowhere), but likewise there are lots of people out there who don't put that much pressure on themselves (and benefit greatly from a mental health/spiritual perspective as a result). It's possible and it's the healthier option - so it shouldn't in my opinion be accepted too willingly (some things need to be accepted - such as life events that are outside our control - but I don't think this needs to be).

A big reason why I probably hold this view is that I don't think those traits I mentioned really are one's personality (even though they are described in that way - I think more for convenience so people understand what we are talking about/to give context), to me they are protective mechanisms based on past experiences and trauma. Is that really who you are? I think our true selves can only shine and be seen in a genuine environment of safety - someone isn't a people-pleaser by nature they are a people-pleaser often because they were taught that they had to earn love - it's a survival response built on fear (if someone wanted to get really technical and say that yes that's your personality but your personality isn't your true self - then I get that - but whatever labels you want to put on each I think the principle stands).

I'm not necessarily advocating for you to go and dig up everything, nor do I think you have to. Its main benefit is to help you understand how those protective mechanisms came to be, so that you can let them go and be your true self more often (theoretically, if someone could do so just by being made aware of the problem then there might not be any need to look into the past - but more often than not it helps - it also helps because journalling is a great way of understanding and in turn accepting all of your emotions - which is a crucial self-compassion step). Like I said, it's all about authenticity and self-compassion - because they are the ultimate messages of safety. Internal safety also allows you to be yourself (so it goes both ways), and TMS symptoms can't survive in such an environment.

for example, coaches like dan buglio, whose approach i really respect, seem to take a much more simple and almost matter-of-fact approach. and i sometimes think, well, i’m actually lucky that i function pretty well overall, and that through my actions alone i should be able to show my body a lot of safety. if i work out, go to a party, travel alone, go on vacation by myself, do all these things, why is that not enough, if it seems to be enough for so many other people, including people coming from much more difficult situations?

at the same time, of course, i keep asking myself why i seem to have developed another symptom over the last few months, one that for the first time is really limiting me. my headaches are annoying, yes, but i often feel like i can still move past them. for example, when i’m making music or after i’ve played a concert, it kind of overshadows the headaches and i can go for hours without even thinking about them.

The reason I opened more focusing on the emotional side in response, is that if you've been at it for years then I assumed you'd covered this quite well, and also new symptoms popping up is often a sign that the root hasn't been addressed. If you think of symptoms like a messenger, if someone simply stops paying attention to their back for example but the message really was about treating oneself better or taking pressure off, then they haven't really gotten it and the brain will try somewhere else until they do. A typical pattern I see (and it's not just people who don't do the emotional work at all - I've seen people in this category who have journaled for years - so you can get stuck either way) is someone heals one symptom and then gets another one 6 months later (it's often worse). They say "I've been working on my reactions to the symptoms, and I'm giving them less attention and living my life but this new symptom has still come on". My first thought/question is "How do you treat yourself/how are you more authentic now compared to when you first started this TMS journey?". They can't answer (and like I said - some of them have been journalling forever so are both very aware of their past and also likely feel their emotions more day-to-day - but they haven't used that information to change how they treat themselves). Dan's work is very important and can get a lot of people there, but I'm more answering this on a troubleshooting basis assuming that it hasn't been enough.

This might sound a bit extreme (just as a side note), but if I were you I'd potentially be shelving this idea that you're "lucky" in comparison to others. Whilst I understand the logic, there's that inner child part of you that only cares about his own suffering (and rightly so). TMSers are constantly putting the needs of others ahead of their own and constantly disregarding their own emotions and experiences - that inner child feels neglected and lets us know through symptoms. This is good practice in righting the ship. Have compassion for others absolutely, but your recovery is just as important as anyone else's (I don't want this to be an almost quasi guilt trip for being able to do more things currently than others). This can help in a sense because it's positive, but I think it's risky given the typical TMS personality so I just thought I'd raise it. You don't need to settle either.

at the same time, of course, i keep asking myself why i seem to have developed another symptom over the last few months, one that for the first time is really limiting me. my headaches are annoying, yes, but i often feel like i can still move past them. for example, when i’m making music or after i’ve played a concert, it kind of overshadows the headaches and i can go for hours without even thinking about them.

That's common too in terms of what I said about the second symptom often being worse. It's as if the brain's strategy of landing its message through the headaches didn't work, you can still function with them at the moment, so more heavy artillery is needed. If how you have been living (I mean more internally - such as putting too much pressure on yourself or putting everyone else's needs over your own) was a key to getting you into symptoms in the first place, then it's logical that it needs to be worked on.

but now with my hands, i notice that they get tired really quickly and i actually feel physically limited, and that really gets to me. there’s a pretty nasty feeling in me that says: why is this happening now, even though i’m already doing the work? for example, i also tried journaling every day for five weeks using nicole sachs’ method, and still i feel like things are getting worse rather than better.

and then there’s this other voice in me that goes back to dan buglio’s perspective and says: maybe this is too much fixing mode again, maybe i’m getting too rigid and too focused on trying to solve it. maybe you have some thoughts on that as well :)

I think I get you and I think you may be polarising the approaches too much which is why you may feel as if it's one over the other. On one hand, I don't look at Nicole's approach as simply digging up the past and engaging with it for the sake of it (I know that Dr Sarno talked about the power of being aware of these past experiences - and that's true - but I've found for most that understanding where an old dysfunctional pattern came from isn't enough - they need to use that knowledge in the now to make change). In that sense, Nicole's work is forward looking.

The other thing I'll mention (have to slow me down when I get going on TMS theory lol) is I think intention is important because that answers the question about "fixing". I don't tell people to be more authentic and engage in more self-compassion to heal, I tell them to do it on the basis that they deserve it (and they feel that themselves). Obviously there's no getting around the fact that it helps recovery (and we wouldn't be talking otherwise), but it becomes a bit of a paradox because if you're engaging in self-compassion purely to get better then what that really says is that you don't give a toss about it other than for the purposes of healing the pain, i.e. without the pain you wouldn't care enough about it to act. So you only care about being kind to yourself if you are getting the pay-off of recovery. That itself isn't very self-compassionate! So you risk defeating the purpose altogether.

As such, Dan is correct that we don't want to go into "fix-it" mode but the way I look at the emotional work (done with the right intention), it isn't to fix anything it's just what you deserve (it just so happens that it will help you're recovery immensely - because overall safety is just as important most of the time as safety in relation to the symptom itself, i.e. knowing there's nothing wrong with you). If you see Nicole's work as trying to dig the magic bullet up for the sake of recovery, then yes to me that is engaging in "fix-it" mode because there's no greater purpose to it.

Hopefully that helps and it becomes easier conceptually to blend the two approaches :)
 
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Like I said, it's all about authenticity and self-compassion - because they are the ultimate messages of safety. Internal safety also allows you to be yourself (so it goes both ways), and TMS symptoms can't survive in such an environment.
Adam,
Thanks for this great post. I really got a lot out of it. I like how you used two different modalities to heal: Nicole and Dan Buglio. Probably the best of both worlds. I’m finding in this stage of my healing that facing the need for authenticity and self compassion is huge. It’s a big step, And it’s actually hard! But I can feel it works when I start to make headway.
 
there’s a pretty nasty feeling in me that says: why is this happening now, even though i’m already doing the work? for example, i also tried journaling every day for five weeks using nicole sachs’ method, and still i feel like things are getting worse rather than better.
I can so sympathize with your frustration! And I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling worse. I’ve had much the same road to travel. I’m on my third year now and each year my perspective is changing. I used to think it was a magic formula and if I did it right, I would be healed. But it’s not that simple and there’s absolutely no way to know how long it will take. This sounds really discouraging, but what are the alternatives? There are certain basic elements that seem to apply to everyone getting better, and @Adam Coloretti (coach) is really giving you some great insight. I guess the most immediate relief you could get is if you could stop being afraid about your symptoms— which is quite the challenge! I always get a little relief from somatic tracking. And even though it’s been in microscopic increments, soothing the nervous system does really improve things. As well as baby steps in exposure to what is currently hard.
 
Adam,
Thanks for this great post. I really got a lot out of it. I like how you used two different modalities to heal: Nicole and Dan Buglio. Probably the best of both worlds. I’m finding in this stage of my healing that facing the need for authenticity and self compassion is huge. It’s a big step, And it’s actually hard! But I can feel it works when I start to make headway.

You're welcome! :) I'm glad you feel as if you are making headway - authenticity and self-compassion can feel so foreign when you've had to be a certain way to get by all your life!
 
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