Time2be
Well known member
Hi, I joined the forum yesterday in the evening when I thought that I had enough of just sneaking around here. I am living in Denmark, originally I am German, I work as an university teacher and yes, I have a tendency to analyze things ...
I have pelvic pain and bladder pain for now 20 years. Not non stop, I had periods without any pain (like for 4 years or 7 months ...) Sometimes I am in pain only for a day or two, sometimes it lasts 3 months. It depends, well, the question is, on what? I want to figure this out, definitely!!
I had diagnostic procedures, first when it started. Result: nothing wrong. I myself went to a psychotherapist, stayed with her for 7 years (it was psychoanalysis!) Did it help? Yes and no. (Of course it cost me a fortune, though my insurance paid parts of it) I would say the close relation I established with the psychotherapist stabilized me. She was very familiar with psychosomatics and I felt safe with her. When I stopped I was pain free for wonderful 4 years ... Despite that these years were also the years of a horrible divorce. But no pain. My explanation: I simply did the right thing to leave a narcissistic husband who liked to make me suffer. Bad decision to marry him, I know now!
Then the pain came back, slowly. First only with exiting events, like giving important talks or dating again. I knew at that time: the pain will disappear as soon as I calmed down. Well, my career went well, my private life not. I had very humiliating experiences with some men, sorry to say this! And then the pain began to irritate me a lot. I started to investigate, ended on one of the web sides for interstitial cystitis. I went to doctors again. Had the diagnostic procedures. And, surprise, no interstitial cystitis. I am fortunate that I am not living in the US but in a country were they don't make money with the sick. After 4 years of struggeling - there were also periods with no pain at all - I found a wonderful urologist in Germany who is very much into psychosomatics. Her diagnosis was chronic pelvic pain that stems from a dysfunctional coping with emotions. As she said last time I visited her: go and have a life!!
I did so well the last 7 months. And now since almost three weeks I am in pain again. Why? I think my problem is that I don't have a life. Not a full life. Holiday started, I am still working, friends are on vacation and I am alone. And being alone can also be loneliness. Not so good for me.
And it is very clear to me: when I don't have pain I am 120% convinced that all this is psychological. And then, when the pain is there I get doubts, not real doubts, but enough to make me afraid. I am afraid of eating things that might hurt (what has to be avoided according to the IC diet). It's just a little nagging doubt in the back of my head. My rational self says:rubbish, you know it's wrong. And the doubt whispers: then, why are you in pain?
So, I need sometimes some support to stick to the path of TMS. And sometimes answers to questions I have. I find this forum very I inspiring!!!
That's it for now. Greeting to all of you from Denmark!
Yours
Time2be
I have pelvic pain and bladder pain for now 20 years. Not non stop, I had periods without any pain (like for 4 years or 7 months ...) Sometimes I am in pain only for a day or two, sometimes it lasts 3 months. It depends, well, the question is, on what? I want to figure this out, definitely!!
I had diagnostic procedures, first when it started. Result: nothing wrong. I myself went to a psychotherapist, stayed with her for 7 years (it was psychoanalysis!) Did it help? Yes and no. (Of course it cost me a fortune, though my insurance paid parts of it) I would say the close relation I established with the psychotherapist stabilized me. She was very familiar with psychosomatics and I felt safe with her. When I stopped I was pain free for wonderful 4 years ... Despite that these years were also the years of a horrible divorce. But no pain. My explanation: I simply did the right thing to leave a narcissistic husband who liked to make me suffer. Bad decision to marry him, I know now!
Then the pain came back, slowly. First only with exiting events, like giving important talks or dating again. I knew at that time: the pain will disappear as soon as I calmed down. Well, my career went well, my private life not. I had very humiliating experiences with some men, sorry to say this! And then the pain began to irritate me a lot. I started to investigate, ended on one of the web sides for interstitial cystitis. I went to doctors again. Had the diagnostic procedures. And, surprise, no interstitial cystitis. I am fortunate that I am not living in the US but in a country were they don't make money with the sick. After 4 years of struggeling - there were also periods with no pain at all - I found a wonderful urologist in Germany who is very much into psychosomatics. Her diagnosis was chronic pelvic pain that stems from a dysfunctional coping with emotions. As she said last time I visited her: go and have a life!!
I did so well the last 7 months. And now since almost three weeks I am in pain again. Why? I think my problem is that I don't have a life. Not a full life. Holiday started, I am still working, friends are on vacation and I am alone. And being alone can also be loneliness. Not so good for me.
And it is very clear to me: when I don't have pain I am 120% convinced that all this is psychological. And then, when the pain is there I get doubts, not real doubts, but enough to make me afraid. I am afraid of eating things that might hurt (what has to be avoided according to the IC diet). It's just a little nagging doubt in the back of my head. My rational self says:rubbish, you know it's wrong. And the doubt whispers: then, why are you in pain?
So, I need sometimes some support to stick to the path of TMS. And sometimes answers to questions I have. I find this forum very I inspiring!!!
That's it for now. Greeting to all of you from Denmark!
Yours
Time2be
