New...asking for advice

[Renny]

I appologize for all the writing and spelling mistakes.This is my story.... last year in June I started having back pain. Did MRI and the result was that I had a minor herniated disc. Started PT but the pain got worse. So I stopped that and took some time of work.By the way I am an orthopedic scrub nurse. I got a little better, so decided to go on vacation. I wasn't enjoying it at all. My pain was nagging me all the time. Swiming was hard. As I come back to work my doctor suggested stronger medication to treat the pain. And I found myself screaming in pain in the middle of August. For a month I was in my bed. Slowly started to move but it was hard. No sitting, standing or walking. This was a nightmare. So my doctor suggested acupuncture. I started doing that but nothing-only some relief. By November I felt little better and started to do some exercises to get back in shape. Out of the blue started having terible leg pain with weakness, spasams, pins and needles down the leg to my foot. We did another MRI but the results were the same. Nothing has changed. More and more doctors saw my imaging but no one could explain why I was in so much pain with symptoms that were overlapsing. Everybody was looking at me like I was CRAZY!!! I got very frustrated and depressed so I made an apointment with a psychiatrist. I started thinking that I got so sensitive and I was overracting. She told me that it is only the situation that I'm in that is making me feel this way....I knew that!
Fast forward thill today I'm still stuck with the same pain and symptoms and no way out! I found the books on line, ordered them. Watched all videos and I feel like there is hope. I became a shadow of myself . I need to get my life back.

 

[Baseball65]

Welcome! Read the books, absorb the information. We all went through the pain your having so we know it SUCKS but this process really works

 

[Gigalos]

Welcome Renny.

Glad you found out about TMS and that the doctors couldn't find a Nocebo in the form of a structural cause. I feel your sadness, but I also feel the hope. I remember that AHA-moment when I found out that it might be my brain that is causing all my symptoms.

You had 'some relief' from acupuncture (in my case: osteopath, triggerpoint-treatment, PT, at best they gave temporarily relief). Your back got a little better, but it soon shifted to your legs with a whole shabam of weird symptoms (check!). Your MRI shows nothing serious (exactly what happened to me, luckily). That's 3 experiences that point towards TMS already. Read the books and I bet you will find a lot more things that strengthen the case of TMS.

take care and be kind to yourself

 

[Tennis Tom]

You came to the right place, if you went to a shrink then you are open minded to TMS that your pain is caused by your mind. You being an orth scrub nurse, I'm surprised that the docs have't cut you yet. I imagine you've shown your imaging to many ortho surgeons and they haven't been able to prove to you the structural source of your pain besides the usual degen disc, which the GOOD DOCTOR called "gray hair of the spine".

There's a list of TMS docs and counselors here that you can consult with in person, by phone or skype :​

• Practitioner Directory​

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Accupuncture is a placebo, I had several hundred sessions

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years back before discovering TMS and they did nothing but empty my wallet and some temporary relaxation on the table--you might a well get some more relaxation bang for you buck and get a 90 minute massage for the same money or less. The California State study on accu found it useless and didn't accredit it as a real treatment. It's shocking that docs are now reccommending accu and chiros, when a few years ago they would have laughed at the suggestion--it shows you how clueless the medical/industrial/Walgreen's complex is when it comes to discovering the cause of most chronic TMS/emotional/psychosomatic pain.

TMS treatment is to shift your thinking to the psychological when you feel the pain. Most psychiatrists don't do analysis anymore because they can make more money in an hour by prescribing pills. Sounds like yours gave you sound advice that it was stress, anxiety, tension, fear--the TMS bugaboos.

Look at the Holmes-Rahe for the life events that cause TMS pain :

THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS SCALE:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
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[lexylucy]

Sounds like a very familiar story. Similar to many TMS stories I have heard. Sounds like you have already done a lot of the footwork of seeing the medical doctors and testing to check yourself out. Good job. Now you can settle in to the idea of TMS and all of the information regarding your brain and how it may be working to put you in pain.

Pain that moves around from place to place is very common. You're not crazy.

I remember my father - who is a doctor and a psycho-therapist told me - listen I think you are sad because you are in so much pain.
He was wrong ---It was the other way around. Deep feelings inside were coming up and my brain was feeling threatened --- and so --- causing pain. And a massive distraction to fix the pain.

Now I embrace my sensitivity and one at a time I allow my feelings to come up. I have the tools to feel them a little at a time and i have what I need to take care of myself.

You are not alone.

Miss LL

 

[MWsunin12]

Renny,

Read success stories, as well. Also Steve Ozanich's book "The Great Pain Deception." It's fantastic that you found TMS and this forum.
Hope will lead you back to yourself. Also, write out all your frustrations, even if they sound childish. No one has to see it, but your brain will stop trying to constantly suppress it.

Marcia

 

[Celayne]

Hello Renny,

You're in a good place. I was so relieved when I found this site; weren't you, too? It is good to know we are NOT crazy and NOT alone.

The first step is realizing that the problem is indeed TMS. After that, you may not experience a smooth course back to feeling yourself, but there is a great deal of hope for the future!

Cricket

 

[Renny]

Thank you Gigalos.
I can't wait to get the books they should be here by monday. I don't expect that there will be a quick fix in the books, but a way to get out of this desperate situation. Hoping for the best.
Best regards

 

[Renny]

Hello Cricket313 and thank you for your support. I was very happy when I found this forum. For the first time I felt there was hope and that I was not imagining the pain. I'm hoping for the best.
Best regards

 

[Renny]

Marcia Thank you!
This past two weeks that is all that I was doing- reading the success stories! They gave me hope that I'm not alone or unique in this kind of state.
Best regards!

 

[Renny]

I'm sure now lexylucy, this is by far the only explanation that made sence to me. I'm now starting to think differently when the pain and symptoms are here. This gave me a little peace. I feel that I'm not as frustrated as I was.
Best wishes and thank you for your support!

 

[Renny]

Welcome! Read the books, absorb the information. We all went through the pain your having so we know it SUCKS but this process really works

Thank you ! Stories similar to mine but also succes storyie are what is holding me now. The hope and the fact that I'm not alone! Best regards

 

[Renny]

Thank you for your support Tennis Tom !
You made me laugh for the first time this month!!!! You are right, I was lucky they didn't suggest surgery. Last year we had a series of people with discs for surgery. My doctor said - You know the drill, you are strong , you can manage this thing! It is not easy to lie on this table! I know you can overcome this!!! You are stronger than you believe you are. We all miss your smile and presence but take the time you need and focus on you. He is very kind, all of my koleges are. So that is one thing that doesn't cross my mind.
I sure did have a series of events in my life for the past 2 years. Unfortunatly I didn't experience them I just kept going! I was too stuborn and strong to let that slow me down. I did what was needed to be done, without pausing . This was hard on me too , but I was the one that others relay on. So I belive that all that stress that I was pushing down lead to this. I started journaling. And i stopped overthinking things, symptoms...I'm hoping for the best. Your words gave me the much needed support and understanding. Thank you again!