My daughter just had her second baby. A happy occasion but one that is causing me a lot of anxiety. The anxiety started before the baby was born because her first labor was complicated and traumatic and I was her main support during the process so I was scared about going through it all again. I grew up with negligent parents and abusive grandparents so I put a lot of pressure on myself not to be like them. My mother left the family home when I was a teenager leaving me to care for my ailing father which was a lot of responsibility that I didn't want. I tried to be a good daughter but resented having to care for him. I remember having terrible exzema and acne during those years. As much as I consciously want to be the supportive mother and grandmother that I never had, the helping feels like a huge burden (trigger to father) and then I feel guilty which causes me anxiety and sometimes back pain. I know this is classic TMS, I just don't know what to do about it.