1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

Need emotional support

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by rxstevens, May 12, 2014.

  1. rxstevens

    rxstevens New Member

    I have had a whirlwind the past couple of weeks. My pain levels have dramatically dropped and they come and go but I am so overwhelmed with life right now my anxiety is through the roof, sleep is difficult, and I am still "very tight" in the back and legs and constantly want to stretch. I just need emotional support right now and would love to talk to someone who has gone through this as well. I know I am close and have a lot to learn about myself and why this happened in the first place. Any encouraging words or advice would be more than welcomed.
  2. Mermaid

    Mermaid Well known member

    What you describe is very common during the TMS healing process, many of us experience these changes as we learn about yourselves and how TMS symptoms develop. It's nothing to be concerned about, it's all part of the process and the "shift" that needs to take place in order to heal fully.

    As you heal your symptoms may move around, again don't worry, it's just more evidence that you have begun to heal.

    Anxiety is only another manifestation of TMS, I know it's difficult, but you must view this as progress. It will pass if you try not to attached too much importance to it, acknowledge the physical feelings of anxiety - accept them as insignificant, and they will begin to fade away.

    You are doing great, your healing has begun, it's extremely common to experience ups and downs. Congratulate yourself on reducing your pain, you're OK, it's OK, your going to be fine.

    TMS healing takes patience and practice, but it definitely works. I was very sick with all sorts of problems and I'm almost healed now, so stick with it, it works !

    If you aren't already following the Structured Educational Programme, I can highly recommend it. Also I think it would help you greatly to study the work of Claire Weekes to reduce your anxiety. All her stuff is available on Amazon. I particularly benefitted from her CD's I still listen to them daily.

    See the link below :


    TMS isn't rocket science, nor is it anything to be afraid of. You're not hiding some terrible secret from yourself, that needs to be unmasked to heal - as Dr.Sarno said, knowledge of the process is the cure.

    TMS is only the physical symptoms of prolonged emotional tension. We get stuck in a fear - tension - fear cycle, and by becoming afraid of our symptoms, we create the conditions to exacerbate them.

    So if you fully accept that you have TMS, work on losing the fear of your symptoms, be patient with time and treat yourself with loving compassion, you will inevitably heal. Lose the fear - lose the pain, it's that simple.

    I hope I have been of some help to you. I sending you a big hug, you're not alone with this, we all understand exactly how you feel. There are a lot of experienced caring people on the forum, who will offer you support and advice as you heal.

    Bless you ((:)joyful:)))
    Ellen likes this.
  3. Mermaid

    Mermaid Well known member

    Me again, I forgot something. I had terrible insomia, which is thankfully a thing of the past now. What helped me greatly was doing a guided relaxation meditation before bed, followed by listening to delta wave music as I drift off to sleep. Try it, it works a treat !

    This is my favourite "knock out" music :-

  4. PaulBlack

    PaulBlack Peer Supporter

    When I had some periods of stabbing pains or even IBS etc., I found that, that situation, was all I was constantly concentrating or actually (ruminating) on, over and over and over. It was like my normal dumb regular funner mindless thinking, disappeared (you know, like watching some bird in a feeder, or looking forward to having a good piece of pizza, or a movie or a workout or whatever. I seem to do much better if I got my mind of ":working or impatiently wanting needing to be better. It is tricky, since you mind seems to want to keep going back and ruminating over and over on a pain or a worry. But I was able to find little things, even if for 5 minutes, that kept my mind busy on a specific task and not I HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS...!
    A good dumb book (like Calvin and Hobbs even. A crossword puzzle, cleaning my garage. you name it. I found something else to think/concentrate on or about and slowly, but surely, the ruminating got farther and farther away and I was back to my normal whackyness...!
    I was careful to try and not make it another thing to WORK on as I wanted to FUN on it instead...!
    You are only promised this very moment, so I tried to get into the very moment.

    All the very best to.
    Ellen likes this.
  5. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    22 February 2012 Last updated at 11:58 ET

    The myth of the eight-hour sleep

    By Stephanie Hegarty BBC World Service
    Continue reading the main story
    We often worry about lying awake in the middle of the night - but it could be good for you. A growing body of evidence from both science and history suggests that the eight-hour sleep may be unnatural.
    In the early 1990s, psychiatrist Thomas Wehr conducted an experiment in which a group of people were plunged into darkness for 14 hours every day for a month.
    It took some time for their sleep to regulate but by the fourth week the subjects had settled into a very distinct sleeping pattern. They slept first for four hours, then woke for one or two hours before falling into a second four-hour sleep.
    Though sleep scientists were impressed by the study, among the general public the idea that we must sleep for eight consecutive hours persists.
    In 2001, historian Roger Ekirch of Virginia Tech published a seminal paper, drawn from 16 years of research, revealing a wealth of historical evidence that humans used to sleep in two distinct chunks.
    [​IMG] Roger Ekirch says this 1595 engraving by Jan Saenredam is evidence of activity at night
    His book At Day's Close: Night in Times Past, published four years later, unearths more than 500 references to a segmented sleeping pattern - in diaries, court records, medical books and literature, from Homer's Odyssey to an anthropological account of modern tribes in Nigeria.
    Much like the experience of Wehr's subjects, these references describe a first sleep which began about two hours after dusk, followed by waking period of one or two hours and then a second sleep.
    "It's not just the number of references - it is the way they refer to it, as if it was common knowledge," Ekirch says.
    During this waking period people were quite active. They often got up, went to the toilet or smoked tobacco and some even visited neighbours. Most people stayed in bed, read, wrote and often prayed. Countless prayer manuals from the late 15th Century offered special prayers for the hours in between sleeps.
    And these hours weren't entirely solitary - people often chatted to bed-fellows or had sex.
    Between segments
    Some people:
    A doctor's manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day's labour but "after the first sleep", when "they have more enjoyment" and "do it better".
    Ekirch found that references to the first and second sleep started to disappear during the late 17th Century. This started among the urban upper classes in northern Europe and over the course of the next 200 years filtered down to the rest of Western society.
    By the 1920s the idea of a first and second sleep had receded entirely from our social consciousness.
    He attributes the initial shift to improvements in street lighting, domestic lighting and a surge in coffee houses - which were sometimes open all night. As the night became a place for legitimate activity and as that activity increased, the length of time people could dedicate to rest dwindled.

    When segmented sleep was the norm
    • "He knew this, even in the horror with which he started from his first sleep, and threw up the window to dispel it by the presence of some object, beyond the room, which had not been, as it were, the witness of his dream." Charles Dickens, Barnaby Rudge (1840)
    • "Don Quixote followed nature, and being satisfied with his first sleep, did not solicit more. As for Sancho, he never wanted a second, for the first lasted him from night to morning." Miguel Cervantes, Don Quixote (1615)
    • "And at the wakening of your first sleepe You shall have a hott drinke made, And at the wakening of your next sleepe Your sorrowes will have a slake." Early English ballad, Old Robin of Portingale
    • The Tiv tribe in Nigeria employ the terms "first sleep" and "second sleep" to refer to specific periods of the night
    Source: Roger Ekirch
    In his new book, Evening's Empire, historian Craig Koslofsky puts forward an account of how this happened.
    "Associations with night before the 17th Century were not good," he says. The night was a place populated by people of disrepute - criminals, prostitutes and drunks.
    "Even the wealthy, who could afford candlelight, had better things to spend their money on. There was no prestige or social value associated with staying up all night."
    That changed in the wake of the Reformation and the counter-Reformation. Protestants and Catholics became accustomed to holding secret services at night, during periods of persecution. If earlier the night had belonged to reprobates, now respectable people became accustomed to exploiting the hours of darkness.
    This trend migrated to the social sphere too, but only for those who could afford to live by candlelight. With the advent of street lighting, however, socialising at night began to filter down through the classes.
    In 1667, Paris became the first city in the world to light its streets, using wax candles in glass lamps. It was followed by Lille in the same year and Amsterdam two years later, where a much more efficient oil-powered lamp was developed.
    [​IMG] A small city like Leipzig in central Germany employed 100 men to tend to 700 lamps
    London didn't join their ranks until 1684 but by the end of the century, more than 50 of Europe's major towns and cities were lit at night.
    Night became fashionable and spending hours lying in bed was considered a waste of time.
    "People were becoming increasingly time-conscious and sensitive to efficiency, certainly before the 19th Century," says Roger Ekirch. "But the industrial revolution intensified that attitude by leaps and bounds."
    Strong evidence of this shifting attitude is contained in a medical journal from 1829 which urged parents to force their children out of a pattern of first and second sleep.
    "If no disease or accident there intervene, they will need no further repose than that obtained in their first sleep, which custom will have caused to terminate by itself just at the usual hour.
    "And then, if they turn upon their ear to take a second nap, they will be taught to look upon it as an intemperance not at all redounding to their credit."

    Stages of sleep
    Every 60-100 minutes we go through a cycle of four stages of sleep
    • Stage 1 is a drowsy, relaxed state between being awake and sleeping - breathing slows, muscles relax, heart rate drops
    • Stage 2 is slightly deeper sleep - you may feel awake and this means that, on many nights, you may be asleep and not know it
    • Stage 3 and Stage 4, or Deep Sleep - it is very hard to wake up from Deep Sleep because this is when there is the lowest amount of activity in your body
    • After Deep Sleep, we go back to Stage 2 for a few minutes, and then enter Dream Sleep - also called REM (rapid eye movement) sleep - which, as its name suggests, is when you dream
    In a full sleep cycle, a person goes through all the stages of sleep from one to four, then back down through stages three and two, before entering dream sleep
    Source: Gregg Jacobs
    Today, most people seem to have adapted quite well to the eight-hour sleep, but Ekirch believes many sleeping problems may have roots in the human body's natural preference for segmented sleep as well as the ubiquity of artificial light.
    This could be the root of a condition called sleep maintenance insomnia, where people wake during the night and have trouble getting back to sleep, he suggests.
    The condition first appears in literature at the end of the 19th Century, at the same time as accounts of segmented sleep disappear.
    "For most of evolution we slept a certain way," says sleep psychologist Gregg Jacobs. "Waking up during the night is part of normal human physiology."
    The idea that we must sleep in a consolidated block could be damaging, he says, if it makes people who wake up at night anxious, as this anxiety can itself prohibit sleeps and is likely to seep into waking life too.
    Russell Foster, a professor of circadian [body clock] neuroscience at Oxford, shares this point of view.
    "Many people wake up at night and panic," he says. "I tell them that what they are experiencing is a throwback to the bi-modal sleep pattern."
    But the majority of doctors still fail to acknowledge that a consolidated eight-hour sleep may be unnatural.

    More from the Magazine
    • Margaret Thatcher was famously said to get by on four hours sleep a night
    • That put her in a group of just 1% of the population
    "Over 30% of the medical problems that doctors are faced with stem directly or indirectly from sleep. But sleep has been ignored in medical training and there are very few centres where sleep is studied," he says.
    Jacobs suggests that the waking period between sleeps, when people were forced into periods of rest and relaxation, could have played an important part in the human capacity to regulate stress naturally.
    In many historic accounts, Ekirch found that people used the time to meditate on their dreams.
    "Today we spend less time doing those things," says Dr Jacobs. "It's not a coincidence that, in modern life, the number of people who report anxiety, stress, depression, alcoholism and drug abuse has gone up."
    So the next time you wake up in the middle of the night, think of your pre-industrial ancestors and relax. Lying awake could be good for you.
    Craig Koslofsky and Russell Foster appeared on The Forum from the BBC World Service. Listen to the programme here.
    Do you sleep in segments? Send us your sleep stories.
    Your comments (321)
  6. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, I have been through this! I often think "when the pain subsides, life floods in!" Last year as I was beginning my recovery my anxiety levels went through the roof. It wasn't my normal panic attacks, its hard to describe but felt more systemic, like it was uncomfortable to be inside my skin. I had trouble sleeping, I would see light flashes and I felt like something really bad was on the verge of happening to me. I am amazed at how good life feels right now and how much less fear I am experiencing, so stick with it. This will eventually pass and it is so worth it. There are some really good videos on this site somewhere about anxiety and how to accept it rather than run and resist it. Those helped me a lot. Let me know if you can't find them and I will search. Bit by bit you will get through this. Try to stay focused on how you are feeling, what makes you happy, what is going on psychologically no matter how futile and impossible it feels to change. You don't need all the solutions, just awareness and acceptance. The more you can stay focused on your life and not react too much to all these changes, no matter how uncomfortable and scary they may seem, the faster things will change. This is not going to last, this is not your future. Try your hardest to trust that and you may be much closer that you realize.
    Ellen likes this.
  7. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I watched a lot of the Weather Channel yesterday to see if any tornadoes were around Chicago
    because there were so many in the Midwest. I should have known better. I dreamed about
    Laurel and Hardy tearing down a building. At least there was some humor in the dream,
    but I'm sure it was from watching so much tornado coverage.

    Tornadoes do not make me happy, so why do I watch that stuff?

    It reinforces my pledge to myself to watch more calm stuff like nature and animals.
    Anne Walker likes this.
  8. rxstevens

    rxstevens New Member

    Thank you so much for he kind words, I will try all of these tips!!!
  9. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks for the "knock out" music. very relaxing.
    Mermaid likes this.

Share This Page