painfreeB
Peer Supporter
so I am on day 10 & doing well. I've been resistant to post my story & progress to this community- not sure why. maybe cuz part of me thinks that it will not work on 40+ years of chronic pain following a broken neck as a youngster- but then I've already proven that wrong as my pain levels have dropped from 8's to 2's in a week & as I journey deeper into the psyche (lots there) I mostly have what I'd call unpleasant sensations (even tho they never leave).
but- I'm also HARD on myself & that's not good enuff (see the trigger?) I want it all gone & out of my mindbody NOW. I've had enough of living w/ this crap & all the mayhem it's caused & I deserve to live the rest of my life w/ some peace of mindbody. it has sucked the soul right out of me, left me alone & broke & on the verge of hopelessness. so I get frustrated in dealing w/ it continually & feel like it will never end. after 3 weeks of learning this however, I've had a few difficult days but feel I'm greatly improved, but I still don't completely buy that it's the cause of all of my pain. I still have restricted ROM in my neck & upper back, shoulders, etc. when I do move it cracks & crunches & bloviates (to scare me?) like nothing else... I have been physical to some degree w/ minimal pain but- I have major FEAR even thinking of returning to my beloved lap swimming someday & cannot see myself doing it anytime in the near future.
writing this I realize I've tapped into some anger which has been more difficult for me than sadness & fear. I recently wrote an online therapist re: a major break thro w/ some repressed anger -as I'm not sure what to do w/ it. that was 4 or 5 days ago. does it usually take that long to reply? if not- I would appreciate an answer?
but- I'm also HARD on myself & that's not good enuff (see the trigger?) I want it all gone & out of my mindbody NOW. I've had enough of living w/ this crap & all the mayhem it's caused & I deserve to live the rest of my life w/ some peace of mindbody. it has sucked the soul right out of me, left me alone & broke & on the verge of hopelessness. so I get frustrated in dealing w/ it continually & feel like it will never end. after 3 weeks of learning this however, I've had a few difficult days but feel I'm greatly improved, but I still don't completely buy that it's the cause of all of my pain. I still have restricted ROM in my neck & upper back, shoulders, etc. when I do move it cracks & crunches & bloviates (to scare me?) like nothing else... I have been physical to some degree w/ minimal pain but- I have major FEAR even thinking of returning to my beloved lap swimming someday & cannot see myself doing it anytime in the near future.
writing this I realize I've tapped into some anger which has been more difficult for me than sadness & fear. I recently wrote an online therapist re: a major break thro w/ some repressed anger -as I'm not sure what to do w/ it. that was 4 or 5 days ago. does it usually take that long to reply? if not- I would appreciate an answer?
