I have been going through the Structured Education program a bit more slowly, as I haven't been doing it every day, although I have found it quite fruitful so far! To be honest I haven't experienced dramatic improvements yet, although I did notice one night while lying in bed, I had tension in my forehead. I told myself it was just TMS, and the tension moved to my chest. In that moment I also had pain that moved to different parts of my body, and I realised that it was "on the run" so to speak. That experience gave me more hope and optimism about recovery. What has been difficult is that I seem to be experiencing the "symptom imperative" where I initially had chronic back, neck and nerve pain, but now I have intense fatigue, headaches, and an irritable stomach. I'm certain it is TMS yet it is frustrating as it doesn't seem to be going away immediately. Last night I also felt my heart start racing for no apparent reason, and I realised this is much like a panic attack (although I've never had a full-blown panic attack before!). I sense that I have quite a few underlying emotional issues that I need to work through, and I realise my mind is desperately trying to distract me. I also become aware that I have been using compulsive thoughts and behaviour to distract myself, which is becoming unhealthy and damaging. Another thing I've noticed is that I struggle with being attracted to unavailable men, which leads to feelings of guilt, shame and frustration. I want to overcome this tendency so I can be attracted to the right kind of people and have healthy relationships in future. I know that I will get better eventually, but I must admit it's taking longer than I hoped.