Jonathan-David
New Member
I am 36 years old. For 18 years I've had pain in my hands and arms. This started when I was 18, meaning I've had it for half of my life. It came on fairly gradually, over a few months. It got so bad that I couldn't hold a piece of paper on my outstretched hand. Pain, and sometimes a feeling like numbness. At that time, I had a stressful job where I'd been given responsibility that I didn't feel I could handle. But I couldn't say no - all my life I've had trouble saying no to just about anything, I've simply forced myself to do it regardless of what I want. I also couldn't ask for help, another thing I've always had trouble with.
I was using a computer a lot, both at home and at work, and playing videogames was my main hobby. I tried different keyboards (like Kinesis Advantage) which required a whole new style of typing, but didn't get any reduction in pain. Eventually I tried new mice, and that did give me a reduction in pain of maybe 75%. I switched to a vertical mouse. After a few months, the pain returned fully. I tried all kinds of different mice over the years. Joystick mice, handheld mice, trackball mice. Pain would usually reduce and then come back. In my mid-twenties, I gave up videogames almost entirely, holding an Xbox controller was too painful. I also got pain when physically writing, using a pen, if I did it for more than a couple of minutes. I visited a doctor, who just advised rest and anti-inflammatories.
If I do rest - that is, for a couple of days I don't use my hands for any precise things like typing, mouse-use, writing, etc., the pain does go away. If I start using them again, the pain comes back. Anti-inflammatories, even a 6-week course, made no difference.
I saw a neurologist, who gave me some tests and said there was mild nerve damage in the ulnar nerve in my right arm. He said it was nothing to worry about and just advised me not to "overdo" it.
I switched to using my left hand for the mouse. Pain went away, then came back after a few months. I developed a technique of using two mice - one for the left hand, one for the right. While at the computer, I would use my right hand for a few minutes, then my left hand for a few minutes. If I'm working on something, I usually work work work until it's finished, even if I'm physically and mentally feeling awful. I installed software that locked my computer for 5 minutes every half hour to force me to take a break. I've built up a repertoire of stretching exercises that I would do a couple of times a day, they always brought relief and lessened the pain later in the day. Through these methods, I got a pain reduction of maybe 50%, which seemed more or less permanent. I was having pain all the time, but I could handle it. I had given up many hobbies, but at least I was still able to use my hands for work, where I needed them for writing by hand and using a mouse for short periods of usually no more than half an hour, and in my personal life where I wrote novels using a keyboard.
I kept trying to get rid of the pain, and so in the past year I have stopped using a mouse entirely. First by using voice-control software on my PC, and then by using eye-tracking software and foot pedals. This got a big reduction in pain, which has stayed down for the past year to a level of 5% or maybe 10% if I'm using the keyboard a lot. I have been pretty pleased with this, even though I still couldn't engage in those other hobbies I had given up.
But then! Something happened that I never suspected could be related, until I read The Mindbody Prescription a few weeks ago. I started to get severe pain in my lower back, on the right side. Sometimes sitting, standing, walking, driving, jumping, lying down. Well, by now I felt like an expert in pain, and you can probably guess what I did. I did lots of research about it. I found out what things were supposed to be bad. I started daily back exercises. I bought a new chair for my home office. I changed my sleeping position. I got a back cushion for the car. I found a fancy back cushion for bed and for the couch, put them on my Amazon wishlist. Then I read Dr Sarno's book, and realized that this could be that my mind needed to create pain to distract me, so as the pain in my arms couldn't be plausible anymore (since I was now using my eyes instead of a mouse!), pain in my back filled the gap.
I have since also read Healing Back Pain. I'm halfway through They Can't Find Anything Wrong!, and I'm also doing The Mindbody Workbook. I have also been seeing a therapist who I'm talking to about my trouble with saying no to others, my incredibly high standards for myself, and my difficulty feeling and showing emotions. I've been doing a lot of crying, sometimes shocking myself with how sudden and overpowering it can be.
I'm very hopeful about being able to use a computer normally again, and pick up hobbies I haven't been able to do for years. I'm thinking about buying a computer mouse again and using a computer in the way that everyone else does. But how can I find out for sure that there isn't anything actually physically wrong with my arms? My hands and arms are obviously very important to me, and I don't want to cause any permanent damage.
I was using a computer a lot, both at home and at work, and playing videogames was my main hobby. I tried different keyboards (like Kinesis Advantage) which required a whole new style of typing, but didn't get any reduction in pain. Eventually I tried new mice, and that did give me a reduction in pain of maybe 75%. I switched to a vertical mouse. After a few months, the pain returned fully. I tried all kinds of different mice over the years. Joystick mice, handheld mice, trackball mice. Pain would usually reduce and then come back. In my mid-twenties, I gave up videogames almost entirely, holding an Xbox controller was too painful. I also got pain when physically writing, using a pen, if I did it for more than a couple of minutes. I visited a doctor, who just advised rest and anti-inflammatories.
If I do rest - that is, for a couple of days I don't use my hands for any precise things like typing, mouse-use, writing, etc., the pain does go away. If I start using them again, the pain comes back. Anti-inflammatories, even a 6-week course, made no difference.
I saw a neurologist, who gave me some tests and said there was mild nerve damage in the ulnar nerve in my right arm. He said it was nothing to worry about and just advised me not to "overdo" it.
I switched to using my left hand for the mouse. Pain went away, then came back after a few months. I developed a technique of using two mice - one for the left hand, one for the right. While at the computer, I would use my right hand for a few minutes, then my left hand for a few minutes. If I'm working on something, I usually work work work until it's finished, even if I'm physically and mentally feeling awful. I installed software that locked my computer for 5 minutes every half hour to force me to take a break. I've built up a repertoire of stretching exercises that I would do a couple of times a day, they always brought relief and lessened the pain later in the day. Through these methods, I got a pain reduction of maybe 50%, which seemed more or less permanent. I was having pain all the time, but I could handle it. I had given up many hobbies, but at least I was still able to use my hands for work, where I needed them for writing by hand and using a mouse for short periods of usually no more than half an hour, and in my personal life where I wrote novels using a keyboard.
I kept trying to get rid of the pain, and so in the past year I have stopped using a mouse entirely. First by using voice-control software on my PC, and then by using eye-tracking software and foot pedals. This got a big reduction in pain, which has stayed down for the past year to a level of 5% or maybe 10% if I'm using the keyboard a lot. I have been pretty pleased with this, even though I still couldn't engage in those other hobbies I had given up.
But then! Something happened that I never suspected could be related, until I read The Mindbody Prescription a few weeks ago. I started to get severe pain in my lower back, on the right side. Sometimes sitting, standing, walking, driving, jumping, lying down. Well, by now I felt like an expert in pain, and you can probably guess what I did. I did lots of research about it. I found out what things were supposed to be bad. I started daily back exercises. I bought a new chair for my home office. I changed my sleeping position. I got a back cushion for the car. I found a fancy back cushion for bed and for the couch, put them on my Amazon wishlist. Then I read Dr Sarno's book, and realized that this could be that my mind needed to create pain to distract me, so as the pain in my arms couldn't be plausible anymore (since I was now using my eyes instead of a mouse!), pain in my back filled the gap.
I have since also read Healing Back Pain. I'm halfway through They Can't Find Anything Wrong!, and I'm also doing The Mindbody Workbook. I have also been seeing a therapist who I'm talking to about my trouble with saying no to others, my incredibly high standards for myself, and my difficulty feeling and showing emotions. I've been doing a lot of crying, sometimes shocking myself with how sudden and overpowering it can be.
I'm very hopeful about being able to use a computer normally again, and pick up hobbies I haven't been able to do for years. I'm thinking about buying a computer mouse again and using a computer in the way that everyone else does. But how can I find out for sure that there isn't anything actually physically wrong with my arms? My hands and arms are obviously very important to me, and I don't want to cause any permanent damage.
