My story. RSI in both arms - or is it TMS?

I am 36 years old. For 18 years I've had pain in my hands and arms. This started when I was 18, meaning I've had it for half of my life. It came on fairly gradually, over a few months. It got so bad that I couldn't hold a piece of paper on my outstretched hand. Pain, and sometimes a feeling like numbness. At that time, I had a stressful job where I'd been given responsibility that I didn't feel I could handle. But I couldn't say no - all my life I've had trouble saying no to just about anything, I've simply forced myself to do it regardless of what I want. I also couldn't ask for help, another thing I've always had trouble with.

I was using a computer a lot, both at home and at work, and playing videogames was my main hobby. I tried different keyboards (like Kinesis Advantage) which required a whole new style of typing, but didn't get any reduction in pain. Eventually I tried new mice, and that did give me a reduction in pain of maybe 75%. I switched to a vertical mouse. After a few months, the pain returned fully. I tried all kinds of different mice over the years. Joystick mice, handheld mice, trackball mice. Pain would usually reduce and then come back. In my mid-twenties, I gave up videogames almost entirely, holding an Xbox controller was too painful. I also got pain when physically writing, using a pen, if I did it for more than a couple of minutes. I visited a doctor, who just advised rest and anti-inflammatories.

If I do rest - that is, for a couple of days I don't use my hands for any precise things like typing, mouse-use, writing, etc., the pain does go away. If I start using them again, the pain comes back. Anti-inflammatories, even a 6-week course, made no difference.

I saw a neurologist, who gave me some tests and said there was mild nerve damage in the ulnar nerve in my right arm. He said it was nothing to worry about and just advised me not to "overdo" it.

I switched to using my left hand for the mouse. Pain went away, then came back after a few months. I developed a technique of using two mice - one for the left hand, one for the right. While at the computer, I would use my right hand for a few minutes, then my left hand for a few minutes. If I'm working on something, I usually work work work until it's finished, even if I'm physically and mentally feeling awful. I installed software that locked my computer for 5 minutes every half hour to force me to take a break. I've built up a repertoire of stretching exercises that I would do a couple of times a day, they always brought relief and lessened the pain later in the day. Through these methods, I got a pain reduction of maybe 50%, which seemed more or less permanent. I was having pain all the time, but I could handle it. I had given up many hobbies, but at least I was still able to use my hands for work, where I needed them for writing by hand and using a mouse for short periods of usually no more than half an hour, and in my personal life where I wrote novels using a keyboard.

I kept trying to get rid of the pain, and so in the past year I have stopped using a mouse entirely. First by using voice-control software on my PC, and then by using eye-tracking software and foot pedals. This got a big reduction in pain, which has stayed down for the past year to a level of 5% or maybe 10% if I'm using the keyboard a lot. I have been pretty pleased with this, even though I still couldn't engage in those other hobbies I had given up.

But then! Something happened that I never suspected could be related, until I read The Mindbody Prescription a few weeks ago. I started to get severe pain in my lower back, on the right side. Sometimes sitting, standing, walking, driving, jumping, lying down. Well, by now I felt like an expert in pain, and you can probably guess what I did. I did lots of research about it. I found out what things were supposed to be bad. I started daily back exercises. I bought a new chair for my home office. I changed my sleeping position. I got a back cushion for the car. I found a fancy back cushion for bed and for the couch, put them on my Amazon wishlist. Then I read Dr Sarno's book, and realized that this could be that my mind needed to create pain to distract me, so as the pain in my arms couldn't be plausible anymore (since I was now using my eyes instead of a mouse!), pain in my back filled the gap.

I have since also read Healing Back Pain. I'm halfway through They Can't Find Anything Wrong!, and I'm also doing The Mindbody Workbook. I have also been seeing a therapist who I'm talking to about my trouble with saying no to others, my incredibly high standards for myself, and my difficulty feeling and showing emotions. I've been doing a lot of crying, sometimes shocking myself with how sudden and overpowering it can be.

I'm very hopeful about being able to use a computer normally again, and pick up hobbies I haven't been able to do for years. I'm thinking about buying a computer mouse again and using a computer in the way that everyone else does. But how can I find out for sure that there isn't anything actually physically wrong with my arms? My hands and arms are obviously very important to me, and I don't want to cause any permanent damage.

 

It definitely sounds like TMS to me, I have the same in both arms and hands, however I let it get to bad that I can’t bend my fingers or make a fist. I am also a gamer like you.

Start with the free programs they have on this site such as the SEP. Also one thing that is helping me is Dan Buglios approach to it all on YouTube if you search for him and watch a bunch of success stories and youll see some RSI on there aswell.

 

There isn't. There. I told you. Now you have found out.

I wrote a thread a long time ago titled something like "You are going to die and right soon"....the sentence about permanent damage is funny...not laughing at you, but laughing with you. That is an idea that comes from the 'for profit' Medieval Medical Mythologists and all of us here who are recovered used to believe in it, the way I believed in the tooth fairy
...
My Thumb got Cut off... they re-attached it and I play guitar hours and hours a day with zero issues. I broke my spine and didn't know it...I work hours and hours in construction every day.

Back when I believed in the myth of permanent damage, I believed it because someone with a Horse in the race ($) told me that it is something to be worried about. It isn't. Life is 'damaging'...our real fear isn't of dying...it is of living. When you begin to shift your mind away from the fears of living(By admitting it is there), things like 'permanent damage' cease to occupy your attention and your TMS goes away.

RSI is 1000% TMS....every time. No exceptions. We are not delicate gossamer wafting in the morning dew....we are highly evolved tough as nails winners at the end of a long evolutionary journey. All of us. You too. Yes you will do whatever you want to do...keep reading the books and DO the instructions. Open your eyes to the myth they told us..and reclaim your life.

You WILL be angry about all of the unnecessary cautions and that is a good righteous anger.....drink it, be it, break something. Yell at somebody. Let 'em have it. You're already getting better

 

Amazing reply, @Baseball65 . Thank you!

You’re on the right path, @Jonathan-David …. Let these replies be what you need to begin to confirm that, then “let your body be your proof”….

 

I was told that I had RSI in my both hands, permanent nerve damage and EMG test proving it. It was all TMS. I have been back to normal for 6 years. Keep up good work, tame your doubts, and you will be fine!

 

Hi @Jonathan-David ,

It's remarkable that symptoms often arrive in a way that is so very personal and debilitating to our lives. Your TMS pain showed up in both hands and arms. And, your main hobby was playing video games!!
That's a sure-fire way to interrupt your hobby, and affect your computer use at work at the same time.

It's difficult to even read the long list of steps you took to try to deal with this--from different keyboards and mice to software to anti-inflammatories, and on and on... So many of us have had our own version of those kinds of experiences.
When those symptoms (the hand/arm pain) don't continue to work, something else shows up (back pain).

It makes sense though, because our brains are distracting us with these symptoms. There's nothing that knows us better, so our vulnerabilities are right there to be exploited.


This part is inspiring--you're right there in your own solution:

I hope thing continue to improve for you!

 

@Jonathan-David Well, this is something I can talk about =)
I had RSI in both arms, starting in the 1990s. It came and went. And after a while it got worse. I am an editor and a writer, and one morning in June 2006, I sat down at the computer, knowing I had 8 hours of work to do, and approx 5 minutes pain free before it really got bad. (At that time, I was wearing wrist guards at night and while at the keyboard, but the help was minimal)

Anyway, I said "why don't I use the 5 pain-free minutes to look for help." You never know what you might find. I googled, and up popped a one page site (1990s style) by a guy who had lost not only his career in tech but his hobby as a musician to RSI. Then he described his cure. It was all Sarno. He summed up Sarno's message in about 3 bullet points, which went something like "The pain isn't physical. The brain deprives the area of oxygen, causing pain. The brain can stop depriving it of oxygen." I got to the end of his web page. My pain was gone. Completely and totally gone. I sat down and worked for the next 8 hours (took breaks, of course, but you get the point). To this day, that pain has never returned.

That is not to say I didn't experience TMS elsewhere in my body since then. I have. I recently had a 1 month relapse of a shoulder/neck issue after 2 years pain free. But I turned that around by going back to that guy's one page site. Not physically, because I think it is long gone. But in my mind, where it is stored forever.

The one thing I did pre 2006, I should mention, was use a mini mouse instead of a regular size or any other type of mouse. I love my mini mouse! It is one thing I have retained because it just feels healthier for my hands. And I actually have large hands for a person my size. So you might consider that as you work your way back to a mouse.

 

I'm back with an update.

I finished my therapy; I think I had about 12 sessions. I also found another therapist online who had specific knowledge of mindbody pain, and had 3 sessions with her. I got a subscription to the Curable app, and used that for several months as well.

I've worked on doing less things for other people. Also doing things in a less perfect way, accepting a lower standard from myself and others. Also making more time that is just for me.

My life has changed in many ways in the past few months.

I bought a regular mouse again.

I finished typing, and published, a book that had been on hold for four years.

I started handwriting again, particularly in a regular freewriting journal about my emotions. I have to do a lot of handwritten notes at work, I do those without pain now.

I play videogames as much as I like, without pain. The same for holding my smartphone or holding a book, no pain anymore.

I created a videogame for the GMTK 2024 game jam in August, something I've wanted to do for years. (This was 33 hours on a computer over 4 days)

Depending on the day, I use a computer with a normal mouse and keyboard for 1 to 8 hours. No pain.

At this point, I go days or sometimes a week without even thinking about the fact that this pain was on my mind almost constantly, every day, stopping me do things I wanted to do. If I do think about it, it doesn't feel real. I'm really pleased I pushed through the fear and trusted this process.

 

Congratulations on your speedy recovery!

 

Congratulations! Thanks so much for coming back and telling us your success story! That’s a great story!