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My story - found out that my brother is gay

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by CarboNeVo, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. CarboNeVo

    CarboNeVo Well known member

    Hey guys,
    I am 24 and been suffering from TMS pain since 17 february 2015.. I still remember that day when I woke up with stabbing pain in my bladder, which opened the gates to hell, literally.
    Prior to this I was super healthy and did not even imagine that there exists anoter other world, a world of chronic pain and miserable life... just like many of you I went to numerous doctors, just to be told we can't find anything abnormal or it's in your head.. the only diagnosis I received was "Chronic pelvic pain or Chronic prostatitis" which basically means we don't know what's wrong with you, get used to it.
    Ofc after this diagnosis my pain moved to my butt (pain in the bladder disappeared).. i started to have pain upon sitting and working in the office became pretty difficult.. i started reading the prostatitis sites and found out about the pudendal nerve entrapment and holllaaa i started to get pain in the areas of the pudendal nerve, read the horror stories about it which even worsened my anxiety and made me to one point literally suicidal, i could never afford 40k euros to have a surgery that has a sucess rate less than placebo.. so you can imagine what it did to my anxiety and symptoms. And since TMS is a bitch feeding of fear and anxiety I was just fueling it's fires.
    This went for more than a year till I by coincidence read a success story about a guy who recovered from chronic pelvic pain by applying dr Sarno's concepts.
    When I read his story I felt like he was literally talking about me, stress and anxiety worsening symptoms, however when he was out with friends having a good time, his pain would disappear (because he forgot about it!!!) like many of you i was oh my fking god, this is it !!!!! this is freaking it !!! i immediately read Sarnos book healing back pain.. within few days my pain almost disappeared, i removed all those stupid cushions from my chair and sat in the office for the first time in more than a year without any pain or very minimal.
    I started to explore everything about the syndrome.. read SteveO's book and every single post from Alan Gordon(thank you brother!) all this helped me to reduce my pain levels to a level where it allowed me to lead a good life,not worrying about my symptoms.
    However, I still suffer from relapses and flare ups, those in my case are mostly based on an emotional conflicts, i had issues with my dad all my life and still have (although he has a good heart he is an idiot and had a bad impact on my childhood and still has till this day)
    This all started after i went through a very very stressful period with my dad and also my girlfriend..when those resolved a little bit.... baaam chronic pain!!. i have no single doubt that my pain is purely psychological, it's the only thing that makes sense and the improvement of my symptoms are a living proof.
    However I have absolutely no clue how to deal with stressful events i still feel i cannot control my conditioned response to stresses and emotional conflicts.. last month i was pain free and thot i am cured for good.. was happy that i am another case of a success story who found about TMS.. i even wanted to share my success here.
    however a week ago my brother confessed to me that he is gay and begged me to not abandon him.. although I was shocked I told him its ur life i will somehow get over it... but i am from a rather religious family .. dad muslim and mom strong christian.. my dad would not survive this... so this has to be kept hidden from him forever.. this will break my moms heart as well. Now u can imagine what this did to my psyche... and baaam the chronic pain is back full force. Now i'm kind of lost what to do next... so far what worked for me was:
    1 - resume physical activity and lead a normal life despite any symptoms
    2 - applying breaking the pain cycle from alan gordon.. basically not giving a shit about the symptoms.
    3 - move on with life..
    It works perfect till a stressful event comes.

    I gotta admit I did not address any repressed emotions by consulting them or journaling... and now i am realising how much they are invloved in all this.

    would appreciate some advise from any of the TMS pioneers here
    thank you!
  2. jaumeb

    jaumeb Peer Supporter

    Hey Carbo. My case is a bit different. In my case the symptoms never go away. And reading about other symptoms doesn't bring new symptoms to my condition (thankfully).
    Still, I am very interested in your story.

    I am studying options beyond Sarno's ideas. This is pretty much uncharted territory but I hope I can find some solutions/tools/resources. I am studying autism and the gut-brain axis. Autists typically exhibit a tms personality so I think there is something to be learned there.

    Regarding the homosexuality of your brother, I don't see it as a big deal. Try not to over-react. Accept it as a fact, just like the fact that the sun rises every day. I'm sorry your symptoms are back because of this event.
  3. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Practice outcome independence. It seems like you have already convinced yourself that this time you won't get better. You have before. Why not now? You can do it. Just keep being persistent.
  4. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2016
  5. CarboNeVo

    CarboNeVo Well known member

    Thanks for your reply buddy, i recognize you from prostatitis forums :) and I'm glad to see someone from there here, I am pretty sure alot of prostatitis sufferes are suffering from TMS actually. look for instance the chronicprostatits forum, the majority who recovered there were people who addressed tension, not chasing hidden bacteria. and TMS is about tension, just addressing it from a different angle.
    Good luck man, hopefully u beat this soon too
  6. CarboNeVo

    CarboNeVo Well known member

    Thank you Ines, this is the thing that helped me the most so far, Alan Gordon is a gift for all the TMS sufferes.
  7. CarboNeVo

    CarboNeVo Well known member

    Be well, thank you for your reply buddy, definitely gonna address these things as I see them playing a major role in TMS pain.

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