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My story again

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by riv44, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

    Not an unfamiliar story. After most of my life with mildly impairing conditions, it began to come on with a vengeance about three years ago. . Couldn't walk, or couldn't sit--pain migrating every couple of months to a different area. My life became gradually more constricted. Withdrew from many activities. I have daughters in their 20s now, and I felt ashamed of being "sick mom." Some of it has been surreal: a trip to Rome that I can hardly remember because I was in so much pain. I noticed how pain seemed to affect one part of my body, then another. So the MRIs, the cortisone, the hard cast for my thumb, the pillows, endless visits to a PT (my ergonomic Nazi, I called him--not out loud.) Became more constricted and fearful. I noticed the migrating pain, and how it all followed in rapid succession, gaining little or no relief from PT, chiropractic, acupuncture, neurontin.

    I discovered Dr Sarno's bo0ks through random bookstore browsing, and
    -oh my God, that's ME! But it's psychological? What have I not worked through?

    I am just about the age my mother was when I last saw her 3 months before she died. It was many years ago, but the symbolic heaviness in increasingly intense. I'm sure that my parents had TMS, judging from the bouts of Bell's Palsy, arthritis, migraines and cancer...But no- there is HOPE!

    I have been reading Sarno's books as much as I can, and am aware of a shift. My prior psychological sophistication was not useful because I couldn't believe that old griefs were wreaking such havoc on my body. Now I have 3 years of having lost a lot of my life to the fear of physical movement, to fear of re-injury, and no the awful prospect that if I am like this at a relatively young age, how will I endure living 2 or 3 more decades?

    I KNOW now that I have TMS. I am setting up a visit to Dr. Martinez so that I can solidify a program for myself and to work with my current treatment providers- who are all gems, and not to be cast aside.
    I have a new physical therapist to whom I brought my heavily underlined Sarno book, and she said--OK, then our work will be to get you away from fear and avoidance, get you active again. I went back to acupuncture, and said that I wanted to work on the addiction to pain and the anxiety, rather than focus on parts of the body.

    I hope to get back to doing my art, and to walking and riding my bike. I promised my physical therapist that I would go for a short ride, so while the weather is fine, I will do so. Thank you for listening.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, riv44. You are on your way to healing and to becoming a happier, healthier person than you ever were or could imagine being.
    Don't regret the years of pain before you learned about Dr. Sarno and TMS. Just be glad you know now and have come to this web site
    and joined a very caring, loving community.

    I suggest you begin the Structured Educational Program, free in the subforum of this web site. It will take you through daily activities
    that will help you discover the repressed emotions or personality traits that cause the pain you have.

    Read the other posts in the SEP today in which another member of the TMS community, Kevin, tells of his wonderful recovery.

    Resuming normal physical activity and walking and bike riding will be a big help to you. Just do what you can, and try to ignore and accept any pain that comes. Art will be a wonderful distraction for you. Keep posting about your progress. Have a great weekend.
    riv44 likes this.
  3. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

  4. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

    Thank you so much for the welcome. It means a lot to have found something that helps. The mind and the brain and the body are all one! How simple, how seemingly difficult--but not--and how true.

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