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Day 9 My own worst enemy

P

Patti Kimler

Peer Supporter
Realizing now that I have been so critical and unkind to myself. I have made it a point to never be happy with what I do, to never make a do-able todo list, to never give myself a break. They say that the voice that our parents used to talk to us when we were kids becomes our internal voice to ourselves when we grow up, and that is so true for me! My voice is my mother's voice, and now that I'm aware of it, I'm working to change it.

My back was better this morning when I woke up! There has been tightness and pain for weeks now (worse than before) that magically faded overnight. I like it! Will continue to take this SEP seriously! Busy day ahead- I realized I'm using short phrases and writing like I'm thinking... Everybody have a fantastic day! :rolleyes:
 
This really hit home for me Patti. You described me perfectly in your description of yourself, right down to the voice in my head being my mother. I know how painful it is and for me it has been incredibly difficult to overcome - it's a continuous daily fight. I have seen my mother's face looking back at me when I look in the mirror from time to time and I'm just now realizing that it pretty much coincides with times when I am being exceptionally hard on myself. It really took me by surprise the first time it happened, especially since everyone says I look much more like my father.

I am so happy to hear that your pain is responding so well to the program. Any tips you have for changing the voice in your head would be appreciated. I've been trying to read a book that was recommended to me by a psychologist, Radical Acceptance, since the beginning of December. I've completed 4 other books in that time frame but I can't get through that one. I think it's because the concept is so very foreign to me. Be my own best friend. I remember telling my sister (who also read and raved about the book) that I really felt as though I was reading a book written in Japanese for as much sense as it was making. The one thing I do know with absolute certainty is that if I ever treated any of my friends the way I treat myself, I would not have any friends. It was such a sad thing to realize about myself and I'm working so hard to change it.

I wish you well on your journey
 
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