Day 29 My mind is still bullshitting me

[Hedger]

Yesterday and today my pain has been increased to 50% again during the days. I just realized why.

Today was a personal happening in my life. I have been pretty cool about it in my mind and outwards "Its minor, nothing special".

Started reading "Healing back pain" for the second time tonight, like 40 pages. Got a realization. My pain went to 0-10% in minutes.

I was not really cool about the event unconsciously. I was afraid, worried and angry. And my Moses (Super-ego) have been telling me: you are not strong if this feels difficult for you. If you fear it. If you worry. Don't do that, its weak.

And it has not been like conversation, more like automatic due to who I see myself being.

But I was afraid. I was worried. And angry. I´m not so cool. But I am in touch with myself tonight!

 

[Baseball65]

You are really 'getting' this.

Look; They filled our heads with all of this logical (not really) scientific (sort of ) BS that got us where we are at. I realized reading another persons post (who is NOT getting it) that as we learned the pseudo-science of the pain industry, Our EGO starts to build a new knowledge base. The fact that it is failing and we are miserable never occurs to the EGO which always wants to be RIGHT and loves Logic.....so when we learn about TMS it is sort of humbling. But the EGO is always quick to re-build. That is why some people intellectually understand TMS but don't 'get' it. This is a war , not one battle. Each time I had an experience like you're describing, I went home, read again and analyzed WHY something like that happened. The answer doesn't always come immediately, but it does come. The EGO hates not knowing.

Most people who get bad enough to end up on this forum have been 'studying' pseudo-science for several years(Sarno's "Medieval Medical Model")....it is wired into us like a Rat in a skinner box. One read-through is seldom enough. That is why I always recommend reading and re-reading and re-re-reading and making notes and maybe grabbing another Sarno Book.... just keep bombing that misinformed Data base until all of the old errant thoughts are shouted down with the truth. This is like tattoo removal. We tattooed BS in our brains, so now we're taking a laser and grinding it out!

Your 0%-10% pain after reviewing is proof positive that the mind can Undo the negative conditioning.

Reading your post made me very happy!

 

[Hedger]

You are really 'getting' this.

Thanks! I just have to get the conscious insights imprinted in my unconsciousness and make it stay there... And make the unconsciousness really, really believe it!

This is a war , not one battle.

Yes, that is how it feel now with cycling between no pain and moderate pain back and forth in days in a row. I hope with time and enlightenment the periods with no symptoms will be much longer, and the battles easier to figure out!

I always recommend reading and re-reading and re-re-reading

Noted. I have a second Sarno book (The divided mind) and will re-read that one too.