My Healing Journey (15 Years of Pain)

Hey everyone,

Today I am going to start documenting my journey here on healing myself from many issues including:

Main Issues:
1) Chronic Knee Pain (15+ years) (on right side)
2) Chronic tight and painful IT band/quad (on right side)

Other issues:
Anxiety (mostly social anxiety but some generalized anxiety)
Seasonal Allergies
Cat Allergies
Tinitus (Ringing in the ears)
Itchy and sensitive skin

Im also wanting to improve in terms of: peak performance, well-being, happiness, business success, confidence.


I stumbled upon John Sarno's videos and his book the mind body solution. Just from reading that and implementing some journaling exercises. I my knee pain basically went away like 85% and my cat allergies, tinitus both seemed to disappear. (But the IT band and quad still felt tight and it still was pulling the knee compressing it just seemed like someone shot a pain killer in the knee but it still didnt feel right, or normal like my left knee and leg).

But after a few days its like the knee pain came back (not as bad as before but some of it came back). Same as my cat allergies. Some of it also came back.

I've continued to experiment with journaling. To feel the emotions. And also just recently psychedelics (psycolocibin).

I also do meditation, cold showers (wim hof breathing), jack kruse protocols (sun exposure, circadian rhythm health, red light, grounding), functional patterns for biomechanics and posture, these have improved some of my problems by a little but not much.

Ps I've tried a LOT more stuff in the past that did nothing really (including: accupuncture, chiropracture, rolfing, physiotherapy, massage therapy, electrically stimulated dry needling, various supplements, sports medicine doctor, kelly starret mobilitywod, pilates therapist).

What ive found most effective so far is Dr Sarnos Work and this forum. But it still hasnt fixed me. Even tho I know its an emotional issue and not structural. Education alone hasnt seemed to be able to fix me (all tho it did improve me the most I've seen and the most rapidly from everything i've tried in over 15 years).

Im about to experiment with some more modalities including:

1) EMDR
2) TRE (Founded by: Dr David Berceli)
3) Neural Biofeedback
4) somatic experiencing (founded by peter levine)
5) shawmanic healing and other energy work
6) psychedelic assisted psychotherapy
7) hypnotherapy
8) fasterEFT
9) Brainspotting
10) Traditional Talking someone (psychotherapist and/or TMS expert)

Ima continue my journaling and try to feel emotions from the past. I'll keep you all posted on my progress and what seems to work. Hopefully I wont need to go through all that and will be fixed before testing all those. But I just researched all the options.

My hypothesis is that I got repressed emotions and traumas that have trapped themselves in my thigh (quad/IT band), and are pulling the knee cap. And have caused a sensitized nervous system. (Ive listened to claire weeks on youtube and her book discussing this and how to overcome it. The anxiety isnt as big of an issue to me as the knee pain and chronically tight and painful muscles that feel like they are gripping).

Im going to be doing TRE session on Thursday. So will let you all know the effects.

Im determined to fix this

 

Hmmmm......what are you attempting to fix? Which common personality traits to do you relate to? What are you doing to enjoy, experience and generally take part in life? What are you not doing because of the pain? Could you start doing just that?? Welcome. I went through a lot of stuff, too, for about 30 years, and today I wrote my success story in this forum. This is a great place to learn and be supported and see things differently. I'm glad you are here.

 

Chronic Knee Pain. like sarno mentions I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to be good, and succeed and fix my issue. Ive taken all the pressure off recently, and read dr sarnos book, and noticed a lot of benefits in terms of how i feel in general but the chronic pain still persists (just not as much). 90% of it went away for a bit and then 50% of it is back. Just not as much as before. I have my first TRE session today. Lets see what happens . Feels like theres a lot of tension in in the right quad/IT band.

Im doing a lot of work at home on computer for now (lockdown and all). Im not really missing out on anything if i didnt have the pain. Just wouldve been doing the same thing. I will read your success story . The pain isnt nearly as bad as it used to be.

I guess im worried that my emotions might not have been fixed, and i worry i got a lot of repressed emotions and therefore my knee pain is still lingering now and might continue to linger.

 

You have had results, so you know it works. It is a process. We become aware of how we process emotions, and hopefully we can stop repressing and suppressing them, but it's not a once-and-done kind of thing. I think of it more like a retraining. I have been a well-trained problem solver and fixer and emotion suppresser! That's all a point of pride in my family. I used to invest a lot of time into fixing myself and others. I still feel that tendency, and have to remind myself, and think differently. I think Sarno says think psychologically. There may be actual tension in your quad, absolutely, so the next question is, what emotion am I not wanting to feel? Or what have a stuffed away in my quad? Do I need this tension in my quad?

I don't believe emotions get fixed. But it helps tremendously if we allow ourselves to *feel* them. Acknowledge them. Allow them. Accept that we will keep having them!

 

Wow! You have quite a list of " possible fixes"! You have had great success with the TMS work and yet you are still lining up external solutions. You seem obsessed with fixing. I have certainly been thru this. My symptoms are different but the process is the same. Remember that symptoms will reoccur. That's perfectly normal . Each time one does, that is an echo of whatever emotion is still there, tho probably diminished. The repetitive advice on this form is to let go of the outcome. This is one of the most challenging things perhaps, but it is the key. Stop measuring and comparing and especially googling MORE things to try. You will never run out of those. Progress will occur if you let go of measuring your progress. It's so counter intuitive. You have already proven this Sarno work works for you. Just stick with that...with conviction and trust, and when pain strikes don't allow your brain to go off on its old familiar tangents and instead go directly to what happened in your day...good or bad. Exciting things can also trigger pain. It doesn't have to always be a negative thing . It's EMOTIONAL NOT PHYSICAL. Best to you!

 

Im just gonna stop trying to heal. Lets see what happens . Dr Sarno recommended it in his book.