Hi all. I’ve been reading the posts on here on and off for a few years but this is my first time posting. I was resisting as I felt i needed to word it “right” (perfectionism) however I’m biting the bullet so here goes. @balto story was one of the first that I read a few years ago and I remember crying with identification of the list of his symptoms. I believe I’ve suffered from TMS for a long time. The following list of symptoms, some I don’t suffer with anymore, some I do, and some come and go mainly of their own accord .... -Sore knees when sitting on floor cross-legged before the age of around 8 -Ear infections -Headaches -anorexia at 12 years old -severe OCD -depression -plantar fasciitis -pain/aches in big toe, ankle, knees, hip, groin, elbows, ribs, shoulder blades, shoulder, neck, lower,middle,upper back, eyes, wrists, hands, fingers (little finger joint goes red) -IBS -cyst on my left ovary -umbilical hernia -teeth grinding in my sleep -fatigue -eye twitches -cold hands and feet -frequent urination -scalp pain -hair loss -excessive hair growth in other areas -skin issues -premature ageing -under eating, binge eating -anxiety -fast heart rate -wired nervous system -stuck in fight, flight, freeze I’m sure there’s more but Im guessing you get the picture! Injuries -broken left wrist twice (was told it will always be weak) -rolled my right ankle -twisted my left knee -fell on my left hip and left hand -fell hard on coccyx whilst snowboarding Diagnosis -tendinitis in left hip (MRI) (diagnosed before I fell on it) -sacroiliac joint disfunction -mildly twisted pelvis -one leg longer than the other -plantar fasciitis -bone bruise left hand (MRI) -possible PCOS -Osteopenia (Dexa scan) -Female pattern baldness -dermoid cyst on ovary -hyperalgesia -raynauds syndrome -fibromyalgia (we don’t know what’s wrong with you so here’s a label)! Things I’ve tried (some consistently some not, usually because of getting “injured” or a flare up) -osteopathy -physiotherapy -Feldenkrais -somatic experiencing therapy -EFT -mindfulness -stretches -Pilates -swimming -yoga -spiritual healing -seeing a nutritionist -supplements -homeopathy -psychotherapy (weekly for 6 years) -journaling -read Sarnos books and I am half way through Steve O’s -read through Alan’s programme -read many of the success stories on here and YouTube -read many other books on the mind and body, trauma, pain, mindfulness, addictions, neuroplasticity etc etc I spoke to Georgie Oldfield last year but didn’t go ahead with the Sirpa programme as it was over £1000 and at that time I was still having weekly psychotherapy. Those sessions have just come to an end so I’m prepared to look at seeing a TMS therapist. I spoke to Louise Levy today who is a TMS therapist and although it isn’t cheap to do the Sirpa programme with her, I need some guidance. My belief in TMS is strong but I think that the conditioning and the neural pathways pull me back to thinking that some of my pain is still from old injuries, or inflammation from something I might of eaten or an undiagnosed issue like an autoimmune disease (which Georgie Oldfield talks about on her website) Or whether there’s “nervous system involvement” which Steve O speaks of in his book. Only recently the person I see for healing who does believe in TMS, said it sounds like it could be inflammation of my nervous system, when I was telling him about the various parts of my body that are currently hurting. Or whether I should get an MRI done on my hip again as I didn’t after I injured it! However I am very succeptible to suggestion so I’d only want to be told if there was something seriously wrong! I’ve had blood tests, mineral tests etc etc. All seem to be ok, or if one wasn’t then I just took supplements to correct the levels. I wish I was one of these people that had the book cure or that I could just say f@ck it (excuse the language) and go for a run, or do anything physical that I have stopped doing for fear of pain or injury, but the fear of pain or injury (which almost always seems to happen) is high, which then impacts on my life and work and bank balance. I know/think most of if not all of it is fear based and I can link a lot of my pain to emotions and or situations in my life. I want to use my body the way it was intended to be used, run (although apparently that isn’t advisable when you have osteopenia), so I’d settle for just walking or swimming, freely without my hip “flaring up” or shoulder. Id like to put weight on my left hand doing a yoga pose etc without my wrist or the 4 year old hand injury “flaring up”. A week or so ago I had a thought that I’m in pain whether I exercise or not so I got my rebounder out and used it for 5 mins, yes 5 mins!, gently, for 2 days. On the 3rd day, my right ankle that I rolled over 1.5 years ago started hurting and continued to hurt, so I stopped using the rebounder!. I feel frustrated as I used to love exercising, and I want to just move freely. I know my body isn’t weak but it is obviously weaker than someone that currently does physical exercise a lot more than I do, so i believe I also need to be realistic and build up my strength as it’s visually clear of the muscle loss. Any thoughts, suggestions? And has anyone followed the Sirpa programme and seen a Sirpa trained therapist? Thank you for reading (if you got this far) and I hope to be able to post my success story one day!