Colly
Beloved Grand Eagle
Hey all
Well I've finally done it! I've done my first ever 5K fun/competitive run. After 25 years of even struggling to walk, I am now officially a runner! I feel joyous having achieved my goal, but the real and longer-lasting joy will kick in (I'm hoping soon) having run with and challenged the accompanying pain of a TMS relapse. How nice of you TMS to visit me, you're such a dependable friend! NOT!
Having discovered Dr Sarno and Steve Ozanich in late 2012 I took the TMS bull by the horns and challenged my foot pain by jogging and, until about two weeks ago, had been building up my runs on weekends to take in a couple more kilometres. Apart from aches and pain early on in my training, I've enjoyed every single run, and was physically ready… until...
Two weeks ago the fear hit me… Who did I think I was doing a "competitive" run! This fear was completely irrational, given my preparation. Last weekend was to be my last prep run, and I did what should have been an easy 3k's. I was a bag of nerves for several reasons, and ran with that "I just want to get this over with" feeling. Then my TMS really kicked in, after driving home (and getting lost along the way - adding to my tension), I opened the car door and tried to swing my legs out of the car, but was hit with a bolt of lightening pain down my leg. The pain was excruciating and I broke down in tears. I knew I wouldn't be able to run today - not with that pain. After a day of licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself, I decided I would spend the week listening to Dr Miller and reached out to SteveO who gave me such wonderful words of encouragement and support.
With this new confidence my pain level became manageable to the point where yesterday I had moments of no pain. I resolved to run today no matter what. It went well and all the while I kept talking to myself saying I wasn't hurting myself, and "float" "take you time" and so on. The run felt good, and I enjoyed it… but the TMS voice started shouting louder saying "what are you doing" "you're going to pay for this"!
I got over the line, and the pain really kicked in. Im a bit embarrassed to say I seemed to be the only one hobbling around amongst the thousands. I managed to get home with difficulty, and am now in the same pain I had last Sunday. BUT I'm not upset, and I'm not fearful of the pain - just a bit peeved it came back and took the joy out of my run. But I've done one now, and know I can do another one comfortably. What was I worried about!
Funny how TMS pain can slap you in the face when you challenge it.
TMS learning continues. Now it's back to more Dr Miller for another week…
Colly
Well I've finally done it! I've done my first ever 5K fun/competitive run. After 25 years of even struggling to walk, I am now officially a runner! I feel joyous having achieved my goal, but the real and longer-lasting joy will kick in (I'm hoping soon) having run with and challenged the accompanying pain of a TMS relapse. How nice of you TMS to visit me, you're such a dependable friend! NOT!
Having discovered Dr Sarno and Steve Ozanich in late 2012 I took the TMS bull by the horns and challenged my foot pain by jogging and, until about two weeks ago, had been building up my runs on weekends to take in a couple more kilometres. Apart from aches and pain early on in my training, I've enjoyed every single run, and was physically ready… until...
Two weeks ago the fear hit me… Who did I think I was doing a "competitive" run! This fear was completely irrational, given my preparation. Last weekend was to be my last prep run, and I did what should have been an easy 3k's. I was a bag of nerves for several reasons, and ran with that "I just want to get this over with" feeling. Then my TMS really kicked in, after driving home (and getting lost along the way - adding to my tension), I opened the car door and tried to swing my legs out of the car, but was hit with a bolt of lightening pain down my leg. The pain was excruciating and I broke down in tears. I knew I wouldn't be able to run today - not with that pain. After a day of licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself, I decided I would spend the week listening to Dr Miller and reached out to SteveO who gave me such wonderful words of encouragement and support.
With this new confidence my pain level became manageable to the point where yesterday I had moments of no pain. I resolved to run today no matter what. It went well and all the while I kept talking to myself saying I wasn't hurting myself, and "float" "take you time" and so on. The run felt good, and I enjoyed it… but the TMS voice started shouting louder saying "what are you doing" "you're going to pay for this"!
I got over the line, and the pain really kicked in. Im a bit embarrassed to say I seemed to be the only one hobbling around amongst the thousands. I managed to get home with difficulty, and am now in the same pain I had last Sunday. BUT I'm not upset, and I'm not fearful of the pain - just a bit peeved it came back and took the joy out of my run. But I've done one now, and know I can do another one comfortably. What was I worried about!
Funny how TMS pain can slap you in the face when you challenge it.
TMS learning continues. Now it's back to more Dr Miller for another week…
Colly
I like the sound of that ocean CD - I must get one of those.