Day 1 My experience with a year of thumb/wrist/forearm pain, day 1 journaling

Around the beginning of the year, I began dealing with thumb pain in the thenar/ palm part of my hand, which spread along that edge of the thumb up to the last joint. I originally believed that the symptoms came on due to my regular gaming with a controller (at least a couple of hours most days). I had been a pretty avid gamer for the past few years, and this hadn’t been a problem. I eased off spme and waited a couple of months through some mild discomfort before going to a walk-in orthopedic clinic.

Initially, I was told that it is likely wrist tendinitis, and that I should take a break from games for 3 to 4 weeks and follow a stretching routine. The break did not seem to do much good, so I went to a follow up appointment with a PA of theirs who specialized in hand issues. I went through several months of appointments, trying to pin down what might be going on. The initial x-rays did not show any notable issue, and a nerve conduction study didn’t yield anything of note (I occasionally have mild tingling in my left hand, but it is never painful). Lastly, I did an MRI, which found no significant tendinitis, but revealed a bone spur on my metacarpal bone at the cmc joint (the joint next to the soft web-like part of the hand/thumb).

After essentially running out of options, I was referred to occupational therapy. The exercises and stretches I was prescribed seemed to help some, but weren’t providing lasting relief. The therapist looked at my x-rays, and noticed that my ulna bone at the wrist is especially pointy. I have had some mild wrist discomfort before, but noticing the abnormality definitely had me hyper fixating for months after. After about three months of OT, I visited with an orthopedic surgeon, who told me that nothing looked structurally wrong with my thunb, but said that the bone spur could be contributing to some amount of tendinitis. I consulted with an orthopedic hand specialist at another office a couple of months later - he thoroughly examined my hand, thumb joints, and wrist, helping me to rule out a lot of potential issues. he said that nothing structurally should be causing my pain, and that the bone spur and wrist bone didn’t look harmful. However, the discomfort persisted on and off. it seems to bother me most when, using my phone, playing games, or using a computer mouse (all fine motor activities).

About a month after that visit, I was doing some research on tendinitis, when I stumbled across a video, introducing me to Dr. Sarno. I admit that I have a lot of perfectionist tendencies, and tend to put a lot of pressure on myself in many areas of life, so his first book I read resonated with me. I have struggled some with his theory about repressed emotions or childhood trauma (since I had a very good relationship with both of my parents), but I am actively working to see how it applies to me. I am working on Alan’s pain recovery course day at a time (currently on day 13). in addition, I am going to start working on the six week SEP program and journal here as I go. I’ve found some comfort in the past couple of weeks by looking on this forum, and seeing how many other people are in similar situations, albeit often with different pains/symptoms.

Day 1 journal prompt response:
I have a fair amount of confidence in the TMS diagnosis, but have had moments where I began to doubt (always when the pain is hitting me the hardest). I know that strong belief in the diagnosis helps in effective treatment, so I am trying really hard to stay on track and believe. My primary worry is that I might not be strong enough to face each day with a resolute attitude and work through the pain positively. I want to become better at acknowledging my pain, passively, without going down the anxiety spiral. I have not previously been a person who identified with having anxiety, but this last year has definitely brought some things to light. Alan’s lessons on self soothing and outcome. Independence are powerful, so I hope to become better at both of those things with each passing day. I am looking forward to six weeks of self growth, with a continual positive outlook.

 

Hello!

Reading this resonated with me, as a gamer with similar symptoms in my thumb (and forearms). I have not yet ruled out structural issues as you had, but the nature of the pain brought me to this forum (bilateral pain, inconsistencies in symptoms).

Curious to hear how you are progressing?

 

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this as well! It’s actually gotten much better over the past couple of months since I really committed to believing that nothing is wrong structurally. I stopped doing massage, chiropractic, and any PT exercises. I had to make myself do things I’d been avoiding (in small increments at first), and gradually started to regain confidence in my ability and my body. I still get some pain in my forearms and thumb/hand, but it’s become a non-issue most days. Occasionally I’ll take a break from gaming if I feel I’ve done a lot, but not for more than a day or two.
Stress and fear play a big part in it - the fear of experiencing any pain is a lot worse than the actual pain. I’m amazed at how many times I go to play games and my thumb or wrist kind of ache for a little bit, but then get way better as I keep going. Obviously don’t push if the pain is severe, but disregarding mild pains as I go never made anything worse.
I’m happy to answer any questions I can to help out - I’m not perfectly cured and gaming for all day sessions, but I’ve had no problems with an hour or two each day in the past couple of months, aling with regular phone use and some computer use at work.
Dan Buglio’s channel Pain Free You on Yourube helped me a lot - he has daily videos that you might find useful.

 

Appreciate the response! Glad to hear you are feeling better after a few months. It sounds like my first step to rule out any structural causes. Not only does that make sense from a diagnosis perspective but I think that is the only way I could fully commit to this being TMS. I will check out the YouTube channel as well. Many thanks!

 

That’s definitely the best course of action, I could only commit to TMS after going through all the typical physical exams. I had x rays, an MRI, and a nerve conduction EMG test, so that helped me rule out pretty much everything. Met with two separate surgeons too in order to be especially sure nothing was overlooked. The MRI found a bone spur on my largest thumb bone at the MCP joint, so I attributed some pain to that before both of the surgeons told me that it was no cause for pain.

You could certainly have a finding like that, but don’t let it discourage you! Just normal abnormalities that happen for everyone over time

 

This is a good topic, but

That is not really gonna help you 'rule out' TMS. Unfortunately in their massive failure to understand pain and their reliance on cat scans, x-ray and the their 'Medieval Structural Model' to quote Sarno, they will ALWAYS find a structural reason...everybody deviates somewhere from the norm...Who is this Normal person anyways?
When I got diagnosed with back pain they 'discovered' my massively misaligned hips ...but the 'give away' was this statement" "You should have been in pain your whole life!"

But I hadn't been. I was an absolute Pirate and Monkey climbing, fighting, falling and doing whatever I want...until I became a responsible 'Father' and needed to worry about the well being of my kids and wife... But I didn't know that until I read "Healing Back Pain"

I also have a poorly healed broken arm from a fall when I was 11. My radius sticks out so far it is alarming. BUT I have never had any wrist pain, even though that is what the doctors forecasted when they wanted to re-break it (and get money of course). I have had pain in both thumbs/wrist but mercifully it came after I had already learned about TMS... I play guitar for hours and hours at a time and that is what they would have blamed it on if I had gone to a Dr...I didn't because I intuitively knew it was TMS even when it was excruciating. I was avoiding work, but having financial anxiety... I was trying to push myself as a guitar player and writer and felt like a failure..and THEN my thumb hurt...and then the OTHER one simultaneously. TMS. I played through it and of course it went away fast.

The way the medical system is set up, they ALWAYS assume that a structural 'cause' exists, so they will blame variations Like this:

even though other people have the same issue with no pain... Sarno acknowledged that our body IS integrated so when it searches for a distraction it might 'choose' a place where it will be believable....

The best way to rule out 'real ' causes is to read the TMS literature (SARNO) and then ask yourself... is this me? Do I need a distraction?

I have had the occasional relapse..(knee, shoulder, THUMBS, feet,teeth,etc) But inevitably for TMS to work it has to be believable, so the better question might be "What is this pain telling me I cannot do?". That is way more helpful than throwing yourself on the mercy of a doctor who looks at you for 5 minutes and makes a life altering diagnosis that is scary and steals away your freedom and confidence.

my. 02 cents.

 

I remember going to a chiropractor once and paying a lot for 15 min/session + he put me on some sort of massage 'thing' at the end for another 15 min. Three times/week. I went for 5 weeks. Zero improvement. I was a wonderful patient for him, I bet.

I had gained weight at the time because of some side effects of a medication (not for pain, for something else) and I told him that I'm doing my best to lose the extra weight but I struggle. I never mentioned the reason why I gained weight in the first place. He said: "You're not going to be able to lose the extra weight until I heal your pain! Just continue to come and in a month you'll be healed. And then you'll see, you'll lose weight."

I never went back after that comment. They desperately called me three times on the phone at home, to convince me to continue to go there. I said "No, thanks."

 

Checking back in, as I now type with minimal pain in my wrists/thumb. What did it for me was actually an MRI for a different pain I was having, in my ankle! It was an issue that actually has been going on for much longer than my hand pain. But the ankle I was convinced had achilles tendonitis for 4 years showed zero signs of damage on the MRI, which was quite shocking for me.

This led me to really start considering TMS as a reality for my hands as well. I stopped doing my PT exercises, read through Alan Gordon's book again, and slowly but surely the pain subsided. After 7-10 days I gradually resumed gaming and typing for work, and while things do get a bit sore now and again, I worry very little about it. Anyways, I figured I'd share the good news, and thank you for your original post!