This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here. Question I’ve been working on my conditioned responses (pain with getting up out of a chair, bending over, etc.), and attempting outcome independence. I’m confused about the line between “rewarding” myself with pride for treating myself in a nice way versus not focusing on my pain level afterward. How can I develop an indifference to the pain if I’m thinking about my conditioned responses? For example, if I have to pick something up off the floor, I worry and brace myself for the pain that I expect to come. If I breathe and tell myself “You’re safe” or “Your back is healthy, strong and normal” as I’m bending down to pick it up, I stand up and can’t help but to monitor how my pain is, then I reward myself with that feeling of pride for comforting my inner child or tending to an emotional state – how is that not reinforcing a connection between my pain level and my mood? I feel that I’m missing a critical aspect to this idea. It has worked for so many people, and I feel so stuck. Thank you for any insights you can provide!