Mild set back..

[cirrusnarea]

Hope I haven't been posting too often on here, but it does help me cope with things.

I've been having a lot of success with the program; I'm on day 14 now, this is supposed to be my day off, but the pain is bothering me too bad for it to be a day off. It's mostly my mid-back at this point. Since I started the program on this site I've been doing a lot better. There have even been a few days when I wasn't in pain. I was waking up with pain every morning, and that hasn't been happening as often. Even so, physical activity brings on the pain without fail and it's getting old.

Walking, standing, working typically bring on the pain quite quickly. I've been going for walks every day now, but every day my back gets sore. Sometimes it goes away as soon as I finish and relax. Other times it naggingly refuses to leave. And today is one of those days. Probably because I went for a longer walk than usual, did a little jogging, and did some cleaning. Driving brings on the pain too and I did that today. I'm doing what I'm supposed to by keeping up the physical activity, but my mind doesn't want to let go.

What's going on? Is it because I'm still harboring repressed emotions? Also, should I really push myself physically, like if the pain comes on when I'm walking should I turn around and go home, or should I try to keep walking until the pain goes away? Should I take a week or two and stop going for these daily walks, or would that be giving into the pain? Should I let myself relax once the pain comes on, or should I do other things like clean, etc.?

I have been doing well about not getting myself worried and concerned about the pain, and since then I've been doing a lot better. But today I had an anxious episode for the first time in awhile, so I'm having a hard time not worrying about it.

 

[yb44]

I don't think there is a posting limit on this forum, LOL, so write as much as you like.

As for the activity, I am reminded of the inner bully when you say things like, should I do this or should I do that? Instead ask yourself, what CAN I do and what do I WANT to do?

The other week I was writhing around on the sofa unable to get comfortable. I hurt when I sat, lied down or got up and walked around. I decided that if I was going to be in pain I might as well do something useful so I got up, put the radio on and did the ironing. I soon forgot about the pain because I was completely distracted.

A couple of times this week I took a walk into my town which is just up the road from where I live. I walked at the pace of a snail. I didn't push myself to get there at my usual rate, didn't strain. I just took my time. I also took my time once there. I find that everything I do now, even simple food preparation takes me so much longer than it did previously. However I am taking notice of what I am doing, being mindful and enjoying it. If you can slow yourself down, perhaps you will feel less anxious.

 

[cirrusnarea]

Thanks for the reply.

That's a good point about the shoulds. While I wasn't thinking in those terms, I think you make a good point. Right now I just want to be better, I'm just sick of being in pain. I'm glad that the pain isn't as bad, but I just want to be normal. I feel like I'm disabled. Dr. Sarno says to resume all normal activity, but I still have pain after doing this. So I'm not sure how much I should be pushing myself. I guess I can lay off the walks for awhile. And just go when I want to go, but lately I've been wanting to go just to get out of the house. I feel good on my walk, but when I get back I'm in pain and I feel really down.

 

[Endless luke]

My instinct is that you have to push yourself but you have to do it in a way that doesn't trigger you. There were many times where I tried to just push through things and that never fixed the problem and would often make me despair. Pushing through alone is not the answer. But if you can push yourself while keeping in mind that TMS is caused by your emotions it should be helpful. I think studying the daily reminders helps to do it right.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Cirrusnarea. You may have good days and bad, for walking with pain.
Just keep at it, and before long, you'll be walking father and without pain.
Endless Luke is right... keep reminding yourself the pain is from a repressed emotion.
You don't even have to solve the emotion problem, just recognize it, and you'll heal.