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Meditation Revelation

MsMetaP

MsMetaP

Peer Supporter
I generally try to meditate for 10 minutes or so after lunch each day. I'm lucky that we have a conference room that's mostly unused, so I've taken it over for my lunch, study, meditation. ;)

Today I "caught" myself doing something that I believe is a facet of this "distraction" thing. During my meditation, instead of focusing on MY OWN feelings, I kept thinking about how much all of this TMS information would help: my neighbor (at the Dr. today to see if she "has" fibromyalgia), a co-worker (is the angriest person I've ever known and has a plethora of "ailments" that the Dr.s cannot find a cause or cure for), my sister (always "sick" and emotionally volcanic)...you get the picture.

Distracting myself with other people's issues (TMS or not) is not going to solve mine! Oh yeah...my motive is nice, I really would like to help them, BUT: 1) It's none of my business, 2) They are probably not ready to give up on Dr.'s and traditional medicine and 3) They haven't asked me for help!

Anyone else out there that does this? I LOVE the fact that I'm now aware of it. And I do think it's characteristic of the TMS personality.
 
Since I learned about TMS I too see lots of people around me whose various physical ailments have an obvious mind-body connection. But I've learned to only give them a few hints about the real causes for their pain symptoms simply because I can see they're just not ready to accept my long-winded explanation. But you can help them along the way toward such an epiphany, but in order to get rid of your own MBS, you have to pay attention to your own cure first. You do find examples though all the time in the people you run into everyday: There's the retired teacher I sometimes encounter out hiking on the nature preserve who has been diagnosed with fibro and has pains in her legs, hips, back and neck. Funny, how she's retired now, desperately seeking a BF, and is also having all kinds of fights with her eldest adult daughter. But she's so "nice" she simply never speaks her mind. I suspect she's holding in some inner rage. Then, there's the award winning high school band conductor I know at the gym who came down with tendonitis in his elbows whenever he plays any instrument. Injections, PT and 2 operations later: No improvement. Odd that he's also had 4 divorces and now a succession of trophy 19 year old girl friends that he drives around in his red sports car at 130 mph. He just happens to be a hard driven, perfectionist, over-achiever who loves to bask in the lime light. After I told him that his pain might be body-mind related, he did seem to start to get better, especially after he abandoned the doctors, the meds, the operations, and the PT, so I guess I might have had some impact. I think other people were telling him the same thing too though. So I guess all you can do is pay attention to your breath and let those obsessive thoughts flow by without getting attached to them too much!
 
Great observation, Meta!

I think the main focus has to be on our own healing. Because many of my friends are like me--driven, perfectionistic, "nice" people--a lot of them have conditions that fall under TMS. I've mentioned it to some of them, mostly because it has felt important for me to share what I'm going through, not because I'm trying to convert them to what I'm doing.

It's interesting how the mind will grab onto just about anything to distract us from our underlying issues--pain, anxiety, even things like helping others.
 
I know I will find examples everywhere. I am committed to keeping my meditation time for me, however. LOL You've certainly found some classic cases. Nice to know you may have had some influence on one, at least.
 
Yep, I am certain that both of my brothers and my sister suffer from this. Yesterday I talked to my younger brother for the first time about it and was even planning on stopping and picking up one of the books for him since I was going to see him. By the end of the conversation, I decided to save myself the money. lol

I think I will focus on me from now on. :)
 
I think you are really right on Meta! I too have seen it in my friends. But they haven't done the reading or work I have. They want to stay in their misery for now. It's everybody in their own time. But it is a lovely distraction to think on the problems of others, rather than sitting with our own "issues" as we work our way out out of the maize.

How cool you can meditate at work! That would be a lovely way to spend a lunch hour.

BG
 
MsMetaP said:
I generally try to meditate for 10 minutes or so after lunch each day. I'm lucky that we have a conference room that's mostly unused, so I've taken it over for my lunch, study, meditation. ;)

Today I "caught" myself doing something that I believe is a facet of this "distraction" thing. During my meditation, instead of focusing on MY OWN feelings, I kept thinking about how much all of this TMS information would help: my neighbor (at the Dr. today to see if she "has" fibromyalgia), a co-worker (is the angriest person I've ever known and has a plethora of "ailments" that the Dr.s cannot find a cause or cure for), my sister (always "sick" and emotionally volcanic)...you get the picture.

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Click to expand...
Both the fact that you are meditating daily in short segments and that you are worried about focusing on others first make me think that you might find the Presence Process useful. Michael Brown recommends a twice daily 15 minute session and he is great at explaining why to focus on healing yourself first.
 
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