Day 7 Making some notes

[jokeysmurf]

As I stated previous I'm suspicious of course of this cough/urge to cough.

I made some notes today..."I need to speak to my unconscious mind somehow, though my actions and thoughts." I keep forgetting this. I was a home working on some of my personal work which I enjoy a lot. I reflect back on this week at my job. I feel much better every week. I feel a greater sense of belonging as I work to build community. I spend time to talk and listen to my colleagues and co workers. It's helping.

This is really new. For a decade I struggled with finding a full time job. I worked several part time ones. I never gave up, and I have always been poor. Recently this has changed for me. I love the feeling of not fliching when I pay for groceries or utilities. So I'm guessing my brain and fear has fixated on my urge to cough.

I decided to go for a run today to challenge my brain and to give it the experience of safety. My brain fought me, almost immediately I had sole pain, then Achilles and then my urge to cough turned into a restriction in my neck and collar bone. That didn't go away for half the run. I ran up a gnarly hill I felt the burning in my lungs but not a stronger urge to cough the same.

Eventually the urge subsided. It never increased or went away completely. A fear thought came to me about my cough. Disastrous ideas about my health and lungs. I've had to deal with this for years.

The day isn't over but I felt a small win in challenging this TMS hypochondria thinking. Surely I'll dip and rise again until I can make normal thinking and reacting consistent.

 

[chris_mom]

I just wanted to say that although I don't have the experience of habit cough, both my mother (90 yrs old) and my sister have had it on and off throughout their lives and they both suffer from various other TMS symptoms as well. I actually helped my sister get over her cough and when she realized her work stress was overwhelming, she made some life changes and now no more coughing. (Except now knee pain is here so she's working on that too!)

My mother developed a cough during a very stressful time in her life, and it pops up during stressful times. Years ago before any of us knew about TMS, she went to a bunch of doctors about it and none could find anything wrong. I notice how her triggers work and it's fascinating. Unfortunately, she is not someone I can talk to about TMS, although I've tried.

Anyway, just to let you know that the habit cough is a very real TMS symptom, so keep on doing what you're doing!

 

[jokeysmurf]

That's interesting about your mom and sister. I recently spoke with a former boss who's now a friend. He had habit cough. He told me before he retired he was very stressed and had a cold earlier in the year. He said his cough went on for 3 months. He went to see docs, they found nothing wrong. They told him it was psychosomatic cough.

He tried to stop coughing as much as he could. Didn't always work. Later his life settled and his cough went away.

Yesterday my cough was on and off. More on than not though. I went to dinner with friends and I had a really good time. Laughed and shared stories. I was really absorbed in it. The cough disappeared half way through the night.

Often I find it's most pronounced at work. Usually when I have to talk to colleagues or lecture. Then it really ramps up. I feel confident when I speak but obviously I'm dealing with a learned behavior and the unconscious mind which maybe feels a bit intimidated by something.

I will keep working on this. Thank you for sharing that story with me.

 

[chris_mom]

That's really interesting! Your cough goes away when you're relaxed and having fun, but when you have to get serious at work and demonstrate your knowledge, it comes right back. Maybe it's telling you something?

When I observe my mother, her cough always comes on when she's in a slightly stressful situation. It doesn't have to be super stressful, just slightly, and that seems to be enough to trigger an episode. Learned behavior gets "better" over time because our brains are good at learning. Over time it can take less stimulus to trigger a stronger symptom, which is something I learned from Dr. Howard Schubiner (I attended his workshop a few years ago).

The good news is that all of this can be overcome because it's just TMS!

 

[jokeysmurf]

yes, the cough has been gone now since that dinner, so since Friday except in really small spurts. This happened the first time around weeks ago when I was looking up habit cough and actively working on soothing my brain and teaching it to relax. It went away for about 5 days and I thought it was gone forever then it came back.

this is interesting to me "Over time it can take less stimulus to trigger a stronger symptom, which is something I learned from Dr. Howard Schubiner (I attended his workshop a few years ago). "
I assume this means that over time as you keep sensitizing yourself it will take less stimulus, essentially you're teaching yourself to have a strong reaction with less prompting. I think this makes a case for working on how to deactivate those signals from multiple angles.

 

[chris_mom]

I would say that you know your pain pathway (the habit cough) is there, so now you just need to work on building your "feel happy and relaxed" pathway so that it gets stronger instead. Small steps everyday toward doing what you enjoy and not focusing so much on the cough. It may not be so easy to completely deactivate something that has been going on so it's good to be okay with it if it crops up once in a while (i.e., practice outcome independence). What might be really effective is placing more attention on activities that really matter to you and that maybe even feel exciting to pursue.