Made progress again

Well I am again making some progress after a rebound with my TMS. I came back to reality and calmed down and am back on board with my TMS being 100% emotional, causing build up of tension in my head.

I have moved on past the light sensitivity feelings. Now I am just deeling with the temple tension and eye pressure. I had a great Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Today it was 65 in Indiana and at lunch i went outside and chipped golf balls in my back yard without any issues.

I have felt small amount of temple pressure but have been ignoring them. Tonight, my son came home and wanted to play outside. For some reason I couldnt decide to wear sunglasses or face my TMS. So I didn't and sure enough I started to think about my head and boom my temples started to ache.

It was a sure sign that my stress is causing my issues even though it scares me still a little. I also got a massge and the therapist told me the Sternocleidomastoid Muscle in your neck can cause temple, eye, scalp pain when it is tight. Mine is arguably terribly sore and it appears that stress is a huge impactor on this neck muscle.

Sounds like the good Dr. is right. so now I am trying to relax and be patient. Time to Float so I hope to remove fear when the temples flare up. I spent 4 months worrying and making the muscles sore.....probably won't fix themselves in a few days.

 

CONDITIONING! One of my favorite examples of Pavlovian conditioning is where the scientists take people with allergies to roses and put them in a room with plastic roses and they had allergic reactions to them as if they were real roses.

Ignore what the m.t. told you about the muscle, but enjoy the massage, they're OK for TMS stress relief.

Of course the Good Dr. is right! You're on the right track too.

 

I agree on the conditioning! Interesting point you make about the Sternocleidomastoid Muscle in your neck causing temple, eye, scalp pain when it is tight. I can relate to that. I have eye issues as well - but mine are sight related. I wear contacts and my vision is always changing. I can go in and have my contacts re-assessed and changed every month!!!! In fact, I have a drawer full of different prescriptions for when my vision changes. I've had all the tests - there is nothing wrong with my eyes or anything like that. They all get a big laugh when I go in .... ugh. Wonder if I can get a discount card at the optometrist!?

 

Thanks TT -

I know I am conditioned now. With this round of TMS I ahve seen the conditiong switch and it has been a battle. First it was sciatica in my left leg, and butt cheek. ONce I battled that back with running it moved to my vision. I thought my vision was off and blurry at all times of the day and inside/outside. That led to panic attacks and anxiety. I finally battled the panic attacks away and the blurry vision moved to thoughts of light sensitivity. Then I thought I was only sensitive at night and under flourescent lights. I challenged that and that went away. Then it was light sensitive in bright sunlight. I challenged that and realized I wouldn't be able to go without sunglasses and rive into the sun if I was LS. So now the temple tension and slight ache behind my eyes has started. Didn't have it for about 4 days but when I gave it some thought like TT pointed out the pain came back.

I am almost there!! I am just so so happy I have battled the anxiety back and am sleeping again without any medication. I have been stuck in this phase of floating and trying to get back what I have conditioned my mind to think. I know I am fine but like yesterday when I was outside without shades and my temples flared up it made me very anxious like oh crap!!

My neck and back are so sore that it is logical that my nerves and blood supply is being impacted to my head. I just am having a hard time ignoring the symptoms.

Should I just continue on with my relaxation techniques and meditation/prayer or do I still have repressed issues maybe?

If I stop and think what was going on in my mind yesterday when this all took place.....I would suspect it comes back to what it always has for the last 5 months. The outside and sun are my trigger to symptom check I think because I want so badly to get back to normal for summer soccer games, golf, hiking etc....

Is this simply conditiong too or is there repressed emotion in that thought process?

 

You're OVERTHINKING! You're giving yourself an overuse injury of your brain. Just stop thinking. CHILL. No need for more psycho-archaeology. If it's repressed, by definition it's buried, leave it buried. Just do it! Quit thinking about it. Don't wait for summer, do it now!

 

I know, have to work hard at getting better. In church on Sunday my pastor was speaking about a study that said it takes only 30 days to solidify a habit. Checking my symptoms daily since December has made this a habit. I guess I can admit I haven't worked on breaking it as I should. It is easier to allow myself to think negative and let the fear scare me.

Some things should be obvious. I just went to the gym and rode the bike for 60 minutes and lifted a little. Minimal temple pressure. Super bright lights blaring down on me.

I was focused on the workout.

 

GREAT! GREAT! GREAT!

You don't have to work hard to get better, that's a fallacy, you have to play the TMS game SMARTER! Learn better, get the TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN into your mindbody. You can hit a million practice balls at the range and if you hit with the wrong technique you'll only get better at hitting them wrong (although it's not as bad as in tennis). Coaching, chalk-talks prior to practice is the key to the fast-track of learning.

60 minutes on the bike is more then enough, great! You took the first step to changing from a bad habit to a good one. FOCUS on positive habits and they will banish the negative ones, multi-tasking is a fallacy, you can only focus on one thing at a time--keep JUST DOING IT!

 

Thanks TT for the support. I was actually so tired yesterday I went up to bed while my wife was putting our son to sleep at 8:30pm and fell asleep. I woke up for a b-room break but slept until 6am. That is a huge win for me! When all my TMS started back in November and the anxiety came I was lucky to be getting 3-4 hours a night. That led to the Dr. giving me sleeping pills which I think started my mental game. I was worried that they would mess me up and my head started hurting. The sleeping issues were bad all the way up until the last 3 weeks with each night getting better.

My Insomnia is TMS as well. I would wake up and right away worry about how bad I would feel if I were to not sleep. I would worry if I could function. Thanks to support from Mermaid and others I was able to change my thinking for my sleep. I realized they were right, I can have a bad night and no big deal. I also became aware of just how many others I knew had sleeping issues. Such an epidemic with the current society and the stress that comes with daily life.

I read a book yesterday called Rewire you brain. It detailed about how negative thinking can impact your health and the mind/body.

I have been dwelling on this so negatively. Everyday I wake up and feel the tension in my head and eyes and I go to the thoughts of what if this never gets better. What if I feel like this everyday.

I need to adopt a positive perspective. Maybe that this pressure has forced me to start working out again which might save my life since i was becoming so out of shape. It has rekindled my relationship with my son. Its hard to find a positive spin on health pain. Not like money worries or something along those lines.

This is going to be the key for me. Living a positive life. I was groomed to be negative growing up, moved away from that in my 20s but it has returned in my 30s.

 

Hey Pingman !

Don't know how I missed this thread. I'm so proud of you, you're doing great. TT always gives fantastic advice doesn't he.

I read "Rewire Your Brain" a while ago too, it explains how positive thinking reactivates our left frontal cortex to counteract the overstimulation of the parts of the brain involved in generating the fight or flight response and the production of stress hormones. It's fascinating and keys in nicely to what we're all trying to do here.

I just keep on telling myself "I'm fine, no problem here, blah, blah, blah.........." and it works !

I know I'm nagging now , but remember to BE KIND TO YOURSELF and ease up on you, get better for YOURSELF, not so that you can satisfy the needs of others.

Sending loads of love your way