Darn, I had a feeling I should have asked first (darn again - I've used the dreaded "should")
Okay then, welcome back! To your symptoms, that is - because I totally know what you are talking about. I've had one symptom which continues to follow me around, and right now I've got some new shoulder pain, which my sister has decided is "frozen shoulder". Because it's exactly like what she has, which a shoulder surgeon diagnosed for her. And guess what - in addition to the silly non-scientific name (a dead giveaway for "we don't really know what it is")
THEY readily admit that they have no idea what it is, how it happens, why it mostly happens to women, and why it generally resolves itself in 6 months to a year. So at least she isn't pushing surgery on me.
I go back and forth with this - some days I want to do the exercises on her doc's web site. Other days I tell myself that's stupid, it's obviously TMS. I have a standing training session at the gym on Tuesdays, and the shoulder always feels pretty good afterwards, although it often hurts when I'm doing certain things (it's my glutes and quads that are usually killing me the next day, LOL). My trainer isn't too concerned, which I appreciate - she's seen it before, and she's seen it resolve. I'm using common sense, and if something hurts "the wrong way" I back off, try a lighter weight or whatever, but I still do every exercise to some extent, and I make sure to do it the same on both sides if I can.
And as I've admitted a few times recently, I am one of those people who think that I live and breathe TMS, so I "should" be able to get over this just by thinking about it a little harder. The truth is that there is only one way that actually works for me, and that's to sit down and write it out. I made a start the other night, and was rather appalled to realize how much negative self-talk has been spinning around in my head this summer.
I have spent a lifetime learning to keep it all locked away behind my professional facade.
I'll never forget my best friend in college (the one with frequent suicidal thoughts but he outgrew those) telling me that I was his rock, because nothing ever bothered me. Seriously, dude? Hahahahahahahahaha..........aaaaaaak! How little he knew - I suffered from a massive amount of anxiety, all locked away behind my pragmatic facade! I think I was born anxious. My parents didn't really know how to deal with it, so I just covered it up, and learned to cope. It's not that hard to do if you're a perfectionist.
I have a tremendous amount of repressed emotion. I am type A and I have life stress factors that seem to have no resolution.
Without knowing what those are, I have to ask whether there's any possibility that some of them could be resolved by changing your relationship to them, OR by changing your mind about them. We hear a lot about unresolved parental conflict, for example - people can't change their parents or what happened in the past, but they can change their perception in subtle ways that allow them to move on. Others are a lot harder, like dysfunctional relationships, problematic children, or dependent parents, situations you can't simply turn your back on. The only thing to do in some cases is to do the best you can to love yourself and give yourself credit for what you are doing. That's the antidote for negative self-talk.
I could be a poster child for TMS
No,
I could be a poster child for TMS.
But seriously... you might ask around (here) for advice on ways to turn off the negative dialogue in your brain. I was just looking at one today, which I found by first reading this blog by
Dr. Hanscom (back surgeon, except when he's not and that's the cool thing about him) then perusing
Stage 1 of his mind-body program where I found a reference to the 3-Column Technique of Dr. David Burns - but first I had to read a bit about Dr. Burns' book
Feeling Good. Then I googled the 3-Column Technique and founds various references to it - enough to create my own spreadsheet which incorporates the concept. I've already started making entries, and it's an interesting exercise in recognizing how negative I am towards myself!
It's amazing how much information there is, and how many resources there are - it's actually quite overwhelming, which is not good for us perfectionists, because we can end up frozen with indecision - what if I don't pick the "right" thing that is going to work for me? Once again - a little dose of self-love and changing our perception, can go a long way.
I hope you stick around - think about doing the SEP, and keep us posted, okay?
Jan