Living in the moments and plans.

[Waterbear]

I read How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” By Dale Carnegie and it’s has some really good stuff in there.



I especially liked “Live your life in day tight compartments.” That technique alone has prevented at least 2 panic attacks that were looming until I told myself that those concerns were not part of the “day compartment” I was in.



I’m also trying very hard to live in the moment and mindfully.



I’m having difficulty figuring out how to add planning to the lifestyle. I’ve always been a multi-tasker and a planner, and it’s stressed me at times.



For instance, I’m going on vacation in 10 days and I need to iron out the last few details. How can I do that, if I’m trying to live day to day? Or how to handle career advancement plans? Or going back to school plans? or anything like that?



Thanks for the help!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Waterbearer, since you need to clear the decks before going on vacation, just do what you can each day and not worry that
everything will be done or done the best possible.

Maybe do some journaling and write the pluses and minuses of career advancement or going back to school.
Try not to even think about them while on vacation. On vacation, stay off the computer and don't watch tv,
if possible. Take a break from everything except enjoying yourself.

 

[Ellen]

Waterbear,

I heard Eckhart Tolle answer a similar question one time. I can't remember his answer verbatim, but he said something to the effect that there is a difference between planning for the future and worrying or ruminating about the future. Planning is a good thing, and can be done mindfully and in the present moment. But then when you are done planning, be done with it. Don't keep ruminating about it. Worry about the future is pointless and accomplishes nothing but scaring ourselves. Planning is proactive and is taking care of business when it is time to do so. I think we can tell the difference by staying tuned into how our bodies feel and our emotions.

Hope you have a wonderful vacation!

 

[Waterbear]

Thanks you two!

I tried the planning thing. I made a list of all the stuff I needed to do. Then I went out with friends and came home and addressed what was on my list. No worrying.

 

[Forest]

I love that question, Waterbear, and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a great book! I think of it as an early form of cognitive intervention and my bet is that if they did a scientific randomized controlled trial, they would verify that it helps people a lot. (Studies have show that a book called "Feeling Good," by David Burns, helps people with depression.) Here's what a wonderful forum member named @balto wrote about the book in his success story:

One of the first book I've read is "Stop worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. Dale taught reader how to conquer worry. He gave many examples of how people overcame all kind of hardship and traumatic events and move on with life. He wrote about tms/anxiety before the terms tms and anxiety were invented. He gave practical and easy to understand techniques to overcome worry. He gave examples after examples of real life people that helped me see that my problem is not unique, my problem had been overcame by countless other people. He gave me hope and he ended my suicidal thoughts. I've see that there is a way out. They can heal, so can I. A year after I've read the book, my anxiety level went down 50% and I don't have panic attack as often as before.​

It sounds like you've already figured out question, but maybe another way of saying it is that there is a time for planning and a time for doing. When you are planning, it makes sense to be mindful of the effects of worry while still allowing yourself to think about the future as much as you need in order to do the task at hand (i.e. planning). However, when the time comes to "do," that is when it is important to live in the present and avoid rumination.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Perhaps we can add, "A time to plan and a time to do" to the list.

I guess you probably won't read this until you get back from vacation, but please let us know how it went!