Letting go of the hurt feelings

[riverrat]

Hi
So I'm still in a terrible set back of increase pain that occurred a few weeks ago after feeling angry at first and then very hurt by something done to me by someone who loves me.
There's been an apology made, though I question the sincerity. And I've said I forgive and am trying to move on From it. But I keep replaying in my mind how hurt and betrayed I feel. I can't seem to let go of it. And my pain has been so bad and Increased and can't help but think this is why. How do you let hurt go?

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi riverrat,

I think at first you have to allow yourself to feel the hurt, perhaps more fully and consciously than you have before. You might journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you. Allow the feelings of hurt and anger, and your right to express them. Allow yourself the right not to forgive, to withhold your love.

In my experience there is a temptation to "bypass" these difficult feelings and move right to "forgiveness." Being real with yourself, reduces the inner pressures and "tension." You obviously don't feel clear about your forgiveness. This is the reality that wants to be explored. Being more clear with yourself may be a better way to address TMS than trying to reach an idealized emotional state such as forgiveness. The forgiveness, if it right for you, will come in its own time.

Andy B

 

[riverrat]

Hi riverrat,

I think at first you have to allow yourself to feel the hurt, perhaps more fully and consciously than you have before. You might journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you. Allow the feelings of hurt and anger, and your right to express them. Allow yourself the right not to forgive, to withhold your love.

In my experience there is a temptation to "bypass" these difficult feelings and move right to "forgiveness." Being real with yourself, reduces the inner pressures and "tension." You obviously don't feel clear about your forgiveness. This is the reality that wants to be explored. Being more clear with yourself may be a better way to address TMS than trying to reach an idealized emotional state such as forgiveness. The forgiveness, if it right for you, will come in its own time.

Andy B

Andy b
Thanks so much for the insight and reply!

 

[intense50]

Hi
So I'm still in a terrible set back of increase pain that occurred a few weeks ago after feeling angry at first and then very hurt by something done to me by someone who loves me.
There's been an apology made, though I question the sincerity. And I've said I forgive and am trying to move on From it. But I keep replaying in my mind how hurt and betrayed I feel. I can't seem to let go of it. And my pain has been so bad and Increased and can't help but think this is why. How do you let hurt go?

 

[intense50]

I went through the same thing. It's a process. The feelings need to be processed. For me journaling was my help. Speaking a trusting ear. I had massive anger that needed to be dealt with. You are on the right track. Educate yourself on tms healing.