Day 19 LEGALIST....never heard of it

RozieHolland

Peer Supporter
Until today I did'n know what my personality was. I have a little of everything.
Then I read about the LEGALIST. Wow, that's me! In OPTIMA FORMA.
I am writing it now and it seems that I am proud of it. Maybe I am, but I am glad that I now know what I am.

I felt it in whole of my body, it became very heavy, when I read this. So I know it is true.
What do I have to do now with this knowledge? Nothing! Knowing and accepting is enough.

Yesterday I changed my avatar.
I have put in a painting I made 10 years ago about a dove who is flying to earth to bring peace.
This is not just a coincidence, this is me.
This is what I want, this is my intention, bring peace all over the world.
I feel if I am a Messenger of God. This sounds very loftily, but this is my feeling.

I have a strong sense of right and wrong, very responsible,
This brings me often in difficult situations.
At work colleaques look down on me, because I do my job as it should, according to the rules.
(I am a taxibusdriver and got a price for best driver in the province, clients have chosen me)
I can not depart from the rules.

In my practice I saw people who denied everything I had to tell, but I saw it, I felt it.
This is one of the reasons people stayed away, because they can't stand the truth.
One can not stand the truth, I can't live without the truth.

This reminds me of when I was about 3 years. I saw the world around me, I could't do anything with it.
The people around me act differently then they really are. I didn't wont to be a part of this.
At 4 I had to go to school, I didn't wont that. I didn't wont to learn things that where not interresting to live my life. I was early wise and didn't wont to go in in the society I lived.
There was no one who I could talk to. I locked myself and said to myself; when I am older, my time will come.
Then I went in survivalmode until I was 40. I wake up and remind me these words. I went into therapy.

My youngest brother had the same when he was about 3 or 4. But he did open his mouth. He talked.
When he went to school, the director could not handle my brother who was very sensitive.
The director of the school told my mother it was the best for my brother to send him to a reformatory.
There he got shock therapy. My brother has never recovered from this.He died at 24.

With love, Rozie.
 
Rozie, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I can't imagine how that must feel for you. Your story breaks my heart but it also inspires me because you have come so far and accomplished so much. I love your new avatar and your message of peace!
 
Hi, RozieHolland. It looks to me that you may be having TMS pain because you are trying to be a super goodist person. You want to bring peace to the world, and believe that God has made you His messenger to do this.
That's putting a lot of pressure and responsibility on yourself. I hope you can just focus on bringing peace to yourself, and if possible to those you love. I will help you if you live in the present moment and not in the future, to worry about others finding peace. I think that ultimately, each of us has to find our own peace, with God's help.

In theological terms, I've read that Legalist is the doctrine of salvation that is gained through doing good works, "the judging of conduct in terms of adherence to precise laws." But my reading also says that salvation comes not from our good deeds, but from believing in the Holy Trinity and that Jesus died for our sins. If we truly believe that, we find peace. Maybe you should focus more on prayer... pray that everyone has the faith to believe in the Trinity -- God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. How do we achieve belief?
Christian reading says it is a gift from God.

Thank you for being so caring, but I suggest that you don't take the world's burdens on your shoulders. That weight can hurt.
 
Hello Walt, this is so true you are telling me.
I know everyone has to find his own peace, that I know now.
But in the past I was carrying to much on my shoulder, I know.
A clayrvoyant told me about 15 years ago that he saw me with all the sorrow and sadness of whole the world upon me.
This was exactly how I felt through whole my life.

Now I believe there is God in everyone of us. You just have to make contact with.
God for me is love, the love within.

I have a bible, but never read it.
I live totally in the present, never think about tomorrow.
I will gladly accept your help.

With love, Rozie.
 
You're right: God is love. Living in the present is the best.
But I do urge you to start reading the Bible. I'm not big on the Old Testament, so I read the New Testament. There are some good online editions of the Bible. I like to read a half hour or hour each day, starting with the Gospels.
God is talking to us and teaching us in the Bible.
 
I have both. I would like to believe in the bible, but I have doubts.
I think it's a storybook with lovely pictures. I don't know if the story's are true. I will believe but I have doubt.
 
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