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Laughing & Shouting with Numbness

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by liamsmith78, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hello,

    I need someones help with this problem.

    My girlfriend split up with me around 5 weeks ago because she could not deal with me anymore. My needing help physically and mentally was too much and she could not deal with the stress.

    She did however believe that she was a big cause of my problems and subconsciously I would withdraw anger and bottle it up from her or I would never be able to end an argument. She had her own problems and always made me feel an inch in size. She would flip an argument and bring my intelligence into question with myself and it drove me insane.

    I found myself out having a few drinks (not a big drinker) with her and friends and the night would be perfect until she said one thing out of line and i would go mad for no reason. I would absolutely off the rails bringing up every little thing bad she did to me and hurt me ...I am such a nice person and never want to hurt or upset anyone and the next day I would be so upset and disappointed with myself and I would question who I am. This has happened 4 times in the last 2 years, the same amount of time I have had all my symptoms.

    The reason I bring this up is because we see each other when she brings around our dog to spend some time with me and still collect some of her things. I say hi to her and try to be as nice as possible but within seconds we are arguing...I never know how we get to it and she flips everything back on me and the i get this instance of numbness down my back and mostly in my neck and hands! it causes my jaw to go numb and i have all this anger and i feel i need to shout but my voice disappears and I cant talk and have this pulsating in my neck with hot flushes and the urge to just cry...

    the other issue I have and just found out recently, is that when I laugh hysterically (which I have not done in such along time and today I did it twice) and my body goes off balance, i cant feel my legs and i fall backwards. at the same times as this I have that pulsating feeling in my neck again.

    Has anyone else experienced this?

    Many thanks

    Liam
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Liam, I have been through all your going through. I can give you advice for sure but I want you to hear some advice from a special person. Her name is Claire Weekes, until I heard her teachings my anxiety and fear was horrific, You can beat this and you will win. Also I would advise you to Start the TMS Recovery Program ok - . Alan Gordon is great at teaching you many more bits of wisdom you need know to control other factors that I read in your other post. You will win, don't think anymore that you won't -- You are loved my friend, God Bless.

    These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot


    Part 1

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

    Part 2

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

    Part 3

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

    Part 4

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3

    Listen to these over and over till you tottally understand her instructions -- Hit me back when you do and tell me your progress after you practice ok. :)
     
  3. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hello Eric,

    Thank you so much for your reply ! Sorry I have not replied, I have been at my brothers for a few days to get me out of the house and try being in a different environment. I want to go outside but I'm scared of the stairs in my apartment and i cannot go outside. at my brothers, I stayed on his couch and even I wondered outside the house by myself for the first time i about 4 months! I did it several times! I did this after I listened to the audio files. Walt sent me them a week or two ago and I listened to them again but this time it sunk in a little bit more. Its helped me realize that the fear is just currently keeping me in a bubble and I am unable to fully start recovery because I cant even live my life normally because of the fear.

    I am glad I am not alone with these feelings! its such a scary feeling and I hate it so much. But I cant figure out why they are there and why my body does this to me. Is it a social thing flaring my anxiety?

    I want to fight fear and I am telling myself everyday that it is not real and I do well but I feel so exhausted throughout the day. its so hard but I am not giving up. If you have any practices or other thoughts please let me know.

    Thank you so much for your time and your help. You have helped me a lot even just by reading your reply.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    The fear of fear is what you need to not fear ok, and learn to float with no fear too. Have you learned how to do this from "Claire Weekes audios" above?
    Also you said you couldn't go outside cause you're scared of the stairs at your apartment? I would like to know some more about those stairs ok, if it's ok.

    I will now give you some huge advice from my mentors ok, Abraham Lowe and Claire Weekes. Go over and over these bits of wisdom for each one holds the key to your recovery ok. Bless you

    Here is just some of Claire's Wisdom -- these are some of her most famous tools

    Dos and Don’ts
    1. Do not run away from fear. Analyze it and see it as no more then physical feelings. Feelings are not facts, do not be bluffed.
    2. Accept all strange sensations connected with your illness. Do not
    fight them. Float past them. Recognize that they are temporary.
    3. Let there be no self-pity.
    4. Settle your problems as quickly as you can, if not with action, then by glimpsing and accepting a new point of view.
    5. Waste no time on “What might have been” and “If only…”
    6. Face sorrow and know that time will bring relief.
    7. Be occupied. Do not lie in bed brooding. Be occupied calmly , not feverishly trying to forget yourself.
    8. Remember that the strength in a muscle may depend on the confidence with which it is used.
    9. Accept your obsessions and be prepared to live with them
    temporarily. Do not fight them by trying to push them away. Let time do
    that.
    10. Remember your recovery does not necessarily depend “entirely on
    you” as so many people are so ready to tell you. You may need help.
    Accept it willingly, without shame.
    11. Do not measure your progress day by day. Don’t count the months,
    years you have been ill and despair at the thought of them. Once you
    are on the right road to recovery, recovery is inevitable, however
    protracted your illness may have been.
    12. Remember withdrawal is your jailer. Recovery lies on the other side of panic. Recovery lies in places you fear.
    13. Do not be discouraged if you cannot make decisions while you are ill. When you are well, decisions will be more easily made.
    14. Never accept total defeat. It is never too late to give yourself another chance.
    15. Practice don’t test.
    16. Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.
    If you do this, you WILL recover.

    I want to say what facing is where you know your about to have anxiety or a pain episode right. So you don't fear it, or judge it or criticize it. Wait for it to come if it must, most everyone has been taught to hate anxiety and Pain. Well the more you hate it the more it will become and the bigger it will get so you have to learn how to Float. I'd highly recommend getting her book ok.


    This is a list of Dr. Abraham Lowes most famous Tools.

    Tools List
    The tools on this list are quoted or adapted from Mental Health Through Will Training (MH), Selections from Dr. Low’s Works (SEL) and Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger (MYF) and will help you take part in a Recovery International meeting. Many other tools can be found in these books.
    Some Basic RI Tools
    Treat mental health as a business and not as a game………………..…...……………MH ch.25
    Humor is our best friend, temper is our worst enemy……………………………….…..MH p.108
    If you can't change a situation you can change your attitude towards it...MYF p.108, Sel. p.31‐32
    Be self‐led, not symptom‐led. …..………………………………………......MYF p.114‐118, 280‐283
    Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous…….….….. SEL p.53, MH p.115, 119
    Temper is, among other things, an intellectual blindness to the other side of the story…………MH p.159
    Comfort is a want, not a need. ………………………………..……………......….....MH chs.13, 22
    There is no right or wrong in the trivialities of every day life………...SEL p.39, MH p.157, 195‐196
    Calm begets calm, temper begets temper………………………….…...…….MYF p.245, SEL p.31
    Don't take our own dear selves too seriously………………………………....………….MH p.109
    Feelings should be expressed and temper suppressed…………………....……...…....MH p.178
    Helplessness is not hopelessness………………………..……………….……MH ch.7, MYF p.184
    Some people have a passion for self‐distrust…….…………...…..…….MH ch.29 & MYF Lecture 2
    Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms………………………..…….……….……MH p. 219
    Do things in part acts……………………………………………….…….……….……MH p.246‐249
    Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance……...…….MYF p.13, SEL p.46, 132
    Have the courage to make a mistake………………..……….MH p.203, ch.30, MYF p.60, SEL p.108
    Feelings are not facts……………………………...……………..………….MH ch.9, MYF Lecture 14
    Do the things you fear and hate to do……………...………..…………...MH p. 329‐330, MYF p.197
    Fear is a belief –– beliefs can be changed………………………………………….MYF p.266‐269
    Every act of self‐control leads to a sense of self‐respect....…………….…….………..MH p.166
    Decide, plan and act. ………………………….……………………………………………...MH p.42
    Any decision will steady you……………………………………...……………….………...MYF p.5
    Anticipation is often worse than realization….…………………..…..………….MH p.114‐115, 146
    Replace an insecure thought with a secure thought……………..……….….……..MYF Lecture 1
    Bear the discomfort in order to gain comfort…………………….………….…………….MH p.149
    Hurt feelings are just beliefs not shared………………………………….………………..SEL p.21
    Self‐appointed expectations lead to self‐induced frustrations…………….…………….SEL p.35
    People do things that annoy us, not necessarily to annoy us………..…...…………….MH ch.48
    Knowledge teaches you what to do, practice tells you how to do it……...……………SEL p.118
    Muscles can be commanded to do what one fears to do………………………..……..SEL p.123
    Tempers are frequently uncontrolled, but not uncontrollable.…………………………..MH p.392
     
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  5. Colly

    Colly Beloved Grand Eagle

    Liam take Herbie's advice:) You need to bring your tension levels right down, and even in laughter you can still be wound up, especially as your ex-girlfriend is still around. You'll need to do the homework, but it will be worth it I assure you! Good luck.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Liam. Your relationship with your ex-girlfriend sounds very stressful. I'm a big dog lover and imagine that you want to see your dog often as you can, but maybe she can just drop off the dog with you and come back in an hour or two. I'm no advice for lovers guy, but it sounds to me like the less you see of that girl the better.

    Remember the song from "South Pacific" where the girl said she was going to wash that man right out of her hair?
    There's some advice there.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Thanks again Herbie!

    This word "float" really appealed to me! it made me identify how much I was consciously thinking about my every move I make....especially when walking. For example i limp when I'm thinking about it, but i don't exactly know where the cause of the limping is. I put my hand on my back for support but their is no pain there. But now I started to just "float" about my house and its getting easier and easier. I also started to think about other thinks and not think about my legs and even after a few days, the pain has reduce. I get pain when I walk but not when I sit down anymore!

    Of course I don't mind you asking about the stairs. My stairs a high up and are metal. I used to get up and down them in pain for a year and a half with no fear and although it hurt, I still did it. But since I fell trying to get in a stationary car in December last year and received a very bad 2 month concussion but falling back and hitting my head (room spinning all the time etc...) on the concrete pavement, I have created this fear of going up & down stairs which resulted in my right leg going completely numb and like jelly instantly when trying to go down! it even happened again two weeks ago. Also, I have got a lot worse walking outside since the accident. I used to be able to walk through the pain and have breaks every now and again, but now i get really scared and get fear sensations which make me stop and have to hold onto things. I think i generated this fear because of the constant dizziness and room spinning. I have been for a hearing and balance test and my results were normal but in the last two months the dizziness has come back when i lie on my right hand side and when i look up.

    Here is a picture of my stairs for a better feel of what I am scared of:
    2014-06-12.jpg


    I believe if i cured my fear of the stairs i would be very confident about going outside again and walking.

    Thank you so much for your Do's and Dont's and Basic IR Tools, they really helped and I have been reasding them through and through.

    One more thing that you may be able to help me with. Yesterday I was feeling great; legs better, arms better, positive attitude etc... But today, I have just woke up so down, tired, lethargic, and in pain for not reason. Could this just be a random bad day? I did get and bad email this morning saying I owed money and it really upset me. It was something that should have been paid and it got messed up and it brought me to tears. could this, or even money itself, be a trigger?

    Thank you again,

    Liam
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  8. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hi Colly,

    His advice has been working wonders already :) ! Yes tension is a big problem. I feel tension all the time and I try to release. I realized something today. I play video games quite a bit but have to stop a lot because I get really bad carpel tunnel. Fingers go numb and arms in pain, even as I type now. Took me ages to write the last reply to Herbie. Today as I was playing a game I started getting really into it, but the pain was getting really bad, but then I analyzed myself and realized that I was tensing the whole of my arms &legs and that I was very "on edge". Now after I turned it off, I also noticed I haven't played any games in about week. Maybe that's why I have been getting a little better.

    Thanks,

    Liam
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  9. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hi Walt,

    Yes it was very stressful. She changed me a lot. She made me feel rubbish about myself all the time. She shut herself away from me in the bedroom and watched TV all night. The one thing she has been great with is my dog. She drops her off twice a week at 5pm to stay the night and pick her up around 5pm. Never thought she would be so understanding. the down sides is that we argued a lot when she came around but now its settled down. Yes since shes been gone I have been so much happier.

    Not heard that song sorry :)

    Thanks,,
    Liam
     
  10. PaulBlack

    PaulBlack Peer Supporter

    Want to take a moment and thank Eric for that post, audios and Do and Don'ts, even though I am not the OP.
    Been having a harder time getting over a bump, that I know in the back of my mind is fear and anger, yanking on my jaw, neck and shoulder a good bit.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  11. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hi Paulblack,

    I get this yanking on my jaw and neck in social situations. One time, which made me so much worse, I was at a party and the intense pull and numbness on my neck and jaw caused me to be a shell of a person wit the fear of falling too. Another one is eating in social situations. My jaw goes numb and I cant even chew or swallow and its agony. I am sure with everyone's help here you will get better! Good luck =)
     
  12. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Liam. Getting bad news in the mail that you owe money can definitely cause anxiety and stress, so it's no wonder your symptoms kicked in and you felt dizzy. I know Dr. Sarno says try not to turn to medication for our symptoms, but when I feel dizzy (and he says TMS can cause dizziness), I take a Mecklizine tablet and it steadies me. I bought the Rugby brand called Travel Sickness, 100 capsules for about $5 from an amazon.com seller. Drug stores also have it.

    Most of time if I feel dizzy I just tell myself it's TMS from some anger or stress, sit and relax, and it goes away.

    As for the fear of your stairs, try not to let it become a conditioned reflex. Some people think they will have back pain if they sit at a computer.
    Try not to associate pain or dizziness with the stairs. They're not doing anything to you. Your mind is. Put your mind on something else, something happy and positive.
     
  13. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Liam you will have to become reprogrammed and time with effort doing these tools will help you ok. I made a video just today talking about depression and how to overcome it, even when you wake up with it. Also, you will need to desensitize yourself to those stairs, fear is whats making you dizzy, it has done the same to me in the past -- fear will create a lot of issues in our bodies. Remember this though, when you start to gain your control over the fear all of these symptoms will leave, don't be in a rush and count the time ok, that will hinder you. Bless you and peace my friend.

     
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  14. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Hi Walk,

    In the UK here and don't think they sell them here. I will be going to my doctor soon and will ask about these.

    I did something a few days ago which would have normally scared the hell out of me. I just went down a step even when my legs were weak. Just telling myself it wasn't real and I didn't fall. even though i felt that I was sure I was. So i did it again and again and now I'm slowly telling myself i have nothing to fear. Also, i do everything to avoid getting worked up or fearful of anything before hand and try not think about it. I just do it instead of thinking about it and things always worked out for the best. Like you said, i have to reprogram myself.

    many thanks,

    liam
     
  15. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Herbie, I really like your video on overcoming depression. You are really great in these videos.

    Liam, that's wonderful to know you're overcoming your fear of the stairs. Keep at it.

    You can order the dizziness pills at your drug store, doctor, or on the Internet.
    type in Rugby, a manufacturer of Travel Sickness which contains meclizine. I got 100 tables
    for just a few dollars. I find I rarely need to use one, but like knowing they work for me and leave no side affects
    and are not habit-forming.
     
  16. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Wow a great video thanks for sharing!

    Since I found out I had TMS i have been relating emotions and thoughts together and realizing that negative words are more likely to register and take effect in our subconscious if a feeling/emotion is connected to them whilst we think about them. for example , i would just be minding my own business and i would be having negative thoughts and this wouldst even register in my mind, but i would be feeling down or upset. I would call myself useless and feel emotional at the same time. I realized that if I could put myself into a depressive state just through the relation of words and emotions combined, then the opposite effect must work with positive feelings and words. So now I randomly say a set of positive words of phrases and repeat them, whilst making myself happy (with a thought or with motivation) and forcing myself to laugh. I would find myself a few minutes later being happy and joyful. I believe this as the the subconscious can only take in a small amount of of what we say or do and i also believe that it takes in what it sees as most important to us, hence the relation of feelings. I read somewhere that the subconscious is less likely to really understand words, and emotions are more its language.

    I've been trying this for the last two weeks and my recovery is 100% starting. I have been out the house several times by myself, my legs feel less painful, I actually go down the stairs in one go instead of step and stop, and i even typed most of this without my forearms being in pain. The best part is, i actually get up and walk around sometimes without even thinking of my legs.

    Kind regards,

    Liam
     
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  17. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am amazed at your recovery my friend. You got it and you are working it, my hat goes off to you, woo hoo - tiphata We have a success.
    You now know what has to be done and you also know the way the mind works my friend Liam. Everything you said above is correct to a T so if you stay course you will be living your best life now, not some time in the future, now - You have got this beat, now just keep up the reprogramming my friend and keep us informed. You will do great to give these keys above to some others in need here when you get around to it ok, This will help reinforce and anchor all your studies.
    Bless You my friend.
     
  18. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    hey hey, not bad for a newbie :D ! Do you really believe this is a road to success? how long, in your experience, do people recover? I'm doing well but not recovering fast and some days i just feel so groggy, painful and just weaker. I am not letting it get the better of me at all.

    I guess what i really want to know is, how long does the re-programming progress take and will i ever be back to normal i.e. will i be 100% again?
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  19. alexandra

    alexandra Peer Supporter

    That's great Liam! My symptoms in my legs are the same as yours, slowly but surely I've been able to walk longer distances, go up and downs stairs etc and use my body more normal with much less pain as time goes by. You will continue to improve, you may even have ups and downs and feel discourage at times, DO NOT give up, continue doing what you are doing and don't focus on a time frame. At my worst all the nerves in my arms , legs and back were burning, i couldnt even push my daughter on the swings but the more I ignore it and add activities in a calm and fearless matter the more peace I feel in my body, meaning less pain and symptoms. Add activity in baby steps, go live your life and do things you enjoy, and make you happy. ☺
     
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  20. liamsmith78

    liamsmith78 Peer Supporter

    Im sorry to hear, but I am so happy you are gettng better! It comforting that someone is like me and in the same situation. I feel for you, I really do.

    The problem with me was the pain and then fear....I was dealing with it very well untill I got told I was possibly goign to be made redundant (which I eventually did), but during the redundancy period I had a massive anxiety attack in a meeting being thold this. Ever since, I have just been worse. Then I had an accident which involved me falling and getting a concussion. Ever since, fear has been all I think off.

    Im trying a new thing where I walk through my long hallway and back as manytimes as I can telling myself its not real and trying to make myself feel happy, whilst trying to find a feeling assosiated to the pain. But at the moment nothing is really hitting me. I just have this unbalancing feeling with the leg pain. One thig i have noticed, is that if some one points out im wlaking better, i get a lot worse! then i start limping.

    I used to be a fitness enthusiast and everyone came to me for advice. I used to be very over weight and I was so proud of who I became, But one day i had an incedent with some weights and it fell on my chest, then i got weaker all around, then i couldnbt even run more than a minute, and could see myself getting weaker and weaker and weaker, then i couldnt even stand for more than 10 minutes without burning pain. I AM getting better and I know I will be back to myself, I just wish I knew when. I wish you so much sucess in your road to happiness! :)

    (hope you dont mind me sharign thsi with you) . Kind Regards,

    Liam
     
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