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just out of operation (herniated disc), and devestated

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by olli, Feb 7, 2014.

  1. olli

    olli New Member

    Hi all

    Wish I was here a couple of months ago. I have had back pain on and off for 18 years, always managing to come out a lumbar crisis relatively rapidly by relaxing and then excercise. However six weeks ago the pain went into the legs and I had contant pain for six weeks without being able to do anything about it. I freaked out, got an MRI shows a "gigantic" herniated disc and two different doctors recommended surgery. A friend recommended reading Dr. Sarno, ordered the books on amazon but went into surgery

    Came out of surgery yesterday symptom free, super happy, got out of hospital the first day, came home. Lay down in my bed and to my horror the pain came back. couldn't believe it. Meanwhile the books had arrived, and all day today reading the books.............already cried a lot, first time is decades I guess.........now fear is worse because i got operated and dont konw how fast I can move on with accepting there is no danger moving around.

    but obviously my mind is wide open. lot of info to take in now, need to get going again, and figure it out. I am definitely the type and have anger hidden. don't know what yet though.

    finding this forum, super glad it looks like theres a way. looking for success stories of post operation to motive and guide

    North Star and G.R. like this.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    You will still get better if you do all the work laid out in Sarnos book. Now you will most definatly want your sugery to heal but no need in worrying if that decision is bad or ok. You did what you did and you will still heal anyway if you do Sarno's suggesstions ok. Here is a young man that had Spinal surgery too and he's doing fine. http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/my-story-with-spondy-its-a-long-one.3606/

    If I were you I'd supplement with the Tms Recovery program featuring Alan Gordon too. You can find it here. http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program

    You will be sad for a moment but you will also pull through. You have to believe that and the sooner you stop worrying and start working toward this cure then the sooner you will start to feel better.

    Bless You
  3. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    You are so brave and courageous. Just know you made the decision about the surgery with the knowledge you had. Now, you have new
    knowledge in your hands with the Sarno material and you are on this forum where you will get lots of help.

    You will surely have victory over this which seems so overwhelming right now. As you work through the anger, your body will surely respond.
    When our bodies don't respond and work the way we want them to it is very frustrating and creates fear and uncertainty. Try to keep
    your mind on the desired goal of healing and the psychological factors causing the symptoms. The more you connect your emotions with
    the pain or the symptoms you are actually shutting down those pain pathways. Trust that both your body and brain know how to heal.
    The more you can relax and rest (which I often feel is very difficult) you will help your autonomic system to slow down. This has helped
    me to decrease pain.

    You will surely get to the other side. Please, let us know how you are doing.
    The Best,
  4. olli

    olli New Member

    Eric and G.R.

    thanks so much for your posts and answers. every word helps. After the huge crisis yesterday I am better today, convinced the the first pain free day after operation was a placebo and since the pain can come right back the day after, it must be TMS. hence proving to myself it has nothing to do with my back. So i got out of bed and managed to walk around for a couple of minutes yelling at my brain, small steps, made it to the dinner table, even sat down two minutes, eating fast while yelling out loud. This is for sure the way forward. I got over the bad decision on operation, because I think I actually needed the operation to be able to accept the TMS. will continue to read, educate myself, talk and start exploring the program on this site to.

    Eric "Herbie" Watson and G.R. like this.
  5. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wow Ollie that's great. I'm so glad your getting the mindset to beat this. I'd start with the TMS recovery program with Alan Gordon.
    Heres the URL - http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program

    Welcome aboard, were here for you all the way.:)
  6. olli

    olli New Member

    Thanks Eric, I truly appreciate it. Sat down today for 1.5 hours!!!! doing a meeting!!!? no pain. really crazy. the thing has literally turned around in two days.

    I did a great thing which was to outline all episodes of lumbar attacks I could remember starting 18 years ago, and listed alternative, counter evidence, TMS reasons than the physical "injury". they were all relatively easy explained with my new knowledge.......except the first accident snowboarding 18 years ago............that was a huge drop off a cliff.........obviously "injured", but funny thing really thinking about the pain and consequences back than I actually have NO recollection or memories of being in bed with pain, or that I was off the mountain for a long time. I snowboarded on all that winter, so it couldn't have been anything really bad, or at least it healed really quick

    I read a great thing somewhere here on the forum or program, which was an eye opener.
    How could an accident 18 years ago that healed in a couple of days max, be a root cause of me not being able to put on my shoes on 18 years later? that logic is so strong it removes any doubts I might have had left.

    So happy and thanks Eric and G.R. for immediate response, those early replies are key I think.
  7. jazzhands

    jazzhands Peer Supporter

    Wow olli thats great stuff.
  8. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Dr. Sarno writes that we won't feel pain today from an injury that happened years ago.
    We may associate the pain with the earlier injury, but the new pain feeling is from TMS.
  9. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks For the up-date olli. That's awesome that your making those connections. A very good tool to have. Keep us posted. Bless you.
    olli likes this.
  10. PepperGirl

    PepperGirl Peer Supporter

    Hi Ollie
    I just saw your post and it reminded me of my situation about a year ago. I had surgery for the 'herniated disc' October 2012 and remained in horrid pain for 5 months after. Very depressed, didn't see any solutions and surgeons GP's had washed their hands of me with no explanation for the continuing pain. Until of course. I found out about TMS and thankfully found a practitioner here in the Uk who could help me (march 2013). However when. I first found out about TMS I kept having panics that I had already had surgery and kinda 'blown' it. I kept beating myself up for having the surgery and not fining out about TMS sooner. This of course, is typical of my TMS personality - I was blaming myself for something that I didn't know about and the choice of surgery was given the information I had at the time. Georgie Oldfield (practitioner I saw in the uk) helped me look at differently - that the fact I had had surgery and little success confirmed that the problem was NOT physical. Slowly I started to view this differently. The term 'failed back surgery' was a definite nocebo for me and only fuelled my fears and negativity. It has been a long haul for me but I would say almost 9 months after starting my TMS recovery - I am happier, back to my old-self - I have got myself a new job (that has considerably reduced my stress) I enjoy life again.......and well maybe it's time for a recovery story! I never ever thought I would get here and thank each day for finding out about TMS. Please stick with it - focus your mind on how you 'see' your recovery, surround yourself with things you love, work towards seeing life out of your pain. So hard to do but if I did it so can you.
    All the best on your journey
    North Star, olli and Kizaa like this.
  11. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Olli, I'm looking forward to seeing your progress. Please keep us posted. Keep up the work! I'm still healing but I know after 10 years of chronic back pain this is the only thing that finally makes sense to me. I still see a neurologist for some meds just to help with a few symptoms but I truly believe this is where I will finally heal. Take care! Peace.
  12. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    Olli, I am so happy you found this forum. I have had great success doing Alan Gordon's programs here on this site - receiving and giving support to fellow TMS'ers. What I have received while looking for pain relief has been a new way of Being in the world, in my head, in my emotions. I have learned more about myself while participating in these forums and doing the suggested assignments than I have from years of therapy. I also read Steve Ozanich's book The Great Pain Deception and just finished up Dr. Schubiner's workbook. I can say that I am about 90% healed from debilitating chronic upper back pain. I started on this forum in November and had been sidelined with pain for over 3 years. I owe so much to this group and our wonderful way of viewing pain. Keep us posted!!welcomea
    Ellen likes this.
  13. olli

    olli New Member


    yes, i wrote above that i got over the decision it, but not completely. The decision on the operation pops up a couple of times a day and, arhhh still beating myself a bit. Its difficult to let it go. I got the stiches removed today, so of course today it was tougher. The doctor is all happy and proud, that I am doing fine, so I didn't see a point in beating him up too, and I just wanted to get out of there. And felt better already on the way home.

    I just have to focus on the positive, and i also tell myself, that without the sugery and the placebo effect, it would have taking me time to accept TMS. So the surgery did serve some purpose in my recovery because it was an eyeopener, and I can be grateful for the pain coming back already day two, so i could get going on this journey.

  14. olli

    olli New Member

    thanks to all.
    It is really great to read. I guess the update is that I am 90% pain free, and that is incredibly that can happen so fast. i am still extremely fearful and conditioned for specific movements. And I think that will take a long time to get rid off, but I am certain I will get there. I had to get back to work Monday and I survived. I think it will work out real well (i love my job/business, but lots of pressure)

    Another amazing thing has happen that I would like to share.
    While I thought I had a "Structural" problem for 18 years i also thought my wife has been "crying for no reason" for the last seven years. She sometimes has pain in shoulders, back, head, eyes, brain, all over the place, absolutely impossible to figure out what that was, (her own guess was a spinal block seven years ago hurt her nerves) and I guess I never really believed it was for real or hurt much.............what I now can see with clarity is that it would be (wrongfully) diagnosed fibromyalgia...........and what I now know for sure is that it's TMS. .......funny thing she has always said "she feels like oxygen is not reaching her brain"......and I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about or what to think about such a statement.

    So my wife also has TMS.........! actually I couldn't imagine any better news......
    i just told her, that I can now guarantee that nothing bad happen to her when she got her spinal block, and I know exactly how she feels, and I know exactly how she can be "cured".

    Anne Walker likes this.
  15. UkAdR

    UkAdR Peer Supporter

    How are you and your wife doing now Olli?

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