Hi everyone. I guess this is my first post so hello to the forum. I first came across Sarno about 10 years ago and got through a bout of pretty crippling back pain fairly quickly. I was a member of the tmshelp board and that definitely was a good place to hang out and I got a lot of support there. So I'm very familiar with the TMS theory and have no trouble buying into it. It all makes sense. However recently I've been thinking about the fact that my 'buying in' is all very intellectual. So my situation currently is: I feel like crap!! I'm in pain (my back), I'm super anxious, depressed and completely unable to enjoy anything. I've been reading steveo's book which I thought was amazing, and I've also just finished The Meaning of Truth which was also very insightful. One of the reasons I'm posting is that I've been browsing the wiki and came across a post (can't remember by who unfortunately) that explains the way depression is a TMS equivalent. Something clicked and I realised I've been ignoring this simple fact for years. I've also being ignoring the dizziness that's been plaguing me for 20 years. I need to get on and do the emotional work but I find myself really stuck. It seems to me right now that I just have a sucky personality that I don't want, and that I'm stuck with it, and that in itself makes me feel angry/hopeless. I just don't want to feel like this, I don't want to be this personality type! The classic INFP, smiley and supportive on the outside, growling inside, lost, lonely, hurting and feeling like the world is passing me by and my life is hopeless and that I have unsolvable problems. I admit I've got emotional issues, I feel fucked up beyond redemption! I needed to get that out. I don't say this stuff to ANYONE in my real life. Where do I start with all this? I want to stay in bed and cry! - but I've got a job, 2 year old, a life!!