1. Our TMS drop-in chat is today (Saturday) from 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM Eastern U.S.(New York) Daylight Time. It's a great way to get quick and interactive peer support. BruceMC is today's host. Click here for more info or just look for the red flag on the menu bar at 3pm Eastern (now US Daylight Time).
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

It’s TMS recovery possible when taking care of someone ill ?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by adyxon, Jun 29, 2018.

  1. adyxon

    adyxon Peer Supporter

    I am in TMS ( pelvic pain) for one year and 1/2 now. I have up and downs periods . My wife is struggling with cancer and I am on continued stress when she has scanning or dr periodic appointment. For example I was feeling better for a while but yesterday when she has her oncologist appointment I was deadly fearful that I didn’t have any pain. Just bloody fear and anxiety.
    I am wondering if someone here has overcome his pain while taking care of someone.
    I know it’s a stupid question but just looking for an answer:)
  2. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    It's not even a remotely stupid question sweetheart. Carers are under an insane amount of pressure and TMS is very common for them. I'm a long-time carer myself so I empathise greatly. My other half has Parkinson's and it contributed such a lot to my awful TMS. I'm much better now but do still suffer flare-ups. It's impossible to tease out what comes from caring and what comes from other life stresses and it really doesn't matter. I chuck it all in the pot and make sure that I keep the lid off. Any cook knows the fastest way to bring a pot to boil is put the lid on.

    The same is true for our emotional state. TMS healing is all about learning to express ourselves and not bottle it all up, something carers tend to do to not impose on a loved one who is suffering. Here you've found a safe place to speak, to vent, to share and to heal. I wish you and your wife the very best in your respective healings.

    Ellen and Lainey like this.
  3. adyxon

    adyxon Peer Supporter

  4. adyxon

    adyxon Peer Supporter

    Thanks for your great reply ! When the other half is not ok , it’s very hard. I am wondering if somebody on a situation like this got rid of his symptoms. And how....
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Read 'My Story' for an idea of how I went about it. Essentially you really need to find ways of balancing what Sarno called the Rage-to-Soothe Ratio whereby you have stacks more invested in the soothe end.

    In some ways I'm lucky in that Parkinson's is a slow burn whereas your situation is probably more of a rollar coaster. This has enabled me to craft and build the necessary self-soothers needed to counteract the fraught and pressing nature of the situation. Have you worked out the various activities and such that calm and soothe you? This is essential to recovery and worth thorough exploration.

    It also really helps to have good people supporting you. My most stressful times have been due to petty family feuds on his side. I find it astonishing that people can be so mean-spirited but there you go.

    What kind of support do you have?
    Are your respective families on side?
    adyxon likes this.
  6. adyxon

    adyxon Peer Supporter

    I read your story. Amazing and inspiring! The only support I have is from an psychotherapist ( CBT ) and a psychiatrist. The most of the time I am alone. I am doing meditation daily, I have read all TMS books and followed ZPN and Dr. Schubinner .
    A very nice guy from this forum recommended me “ At Last a life “ by Paul David ( a revelation ) .
    I am a taxi driver an my pain affects my sitting-driving it’s awful experience to drive in pain all day.
    I am 100% that feeling emotions it’s the only way out off this prison, but sometimes I feel that my problem it’s bigger that others ( like everyone) and looking for reassurance and answers. But with the time going I am starting to looking more inside me rather outside.
    I am happy seeing that more and more pelvic pain sufferers healing just working emotionally, . I know that there is not a shortcut and the process takes time ....
  7. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    You'll get there. Your healing is assured. Quite often it's a case of connecting the healing dots and being open enough to allow the epiphanies. This is one of the reasons I love @ezer's success story so much. It's a great blueprint of enduring typical trials and tribulations which we all face before finally realising the true source of our TMS.

    At the pool I go to there are a fair amount of taxi (and lorry) drivers. I know one especially well who suffers from shoulder and neck pain and he's forever complaining about his emotional life in which he shoulders too much responsibility. He blames his pain on being in the car for hours each day and while I am certain that doesn't help I do wonder how much better he would be if his personal life were less stressful.

    Have you explored either yin or restorative yoga? Both are excellent ways of relieving tension while addressing the underlying emotions. In this sense they are perfect examples of what Alan Gordon calls Somatic Tracking in his newest program.

    As my experience shows sometimes body-oriented approaches work where journalling and such fails. It's easy to spend too much time in our head especially when being in our bodies hurts so much but gentle physical practices can help us relax deeply and process the emotional stuff better. I know you must be going through hell while caring for your wife and I really admire you for being so open to TMS healing.

Share This Page