Is there a common ‘self-treatment’ approach that'd work across-the-board for all mind/body theories?

[BloodMoon]

After all these years of ‘doing the work’ of various kinds, I’m still not symptom free. Overall and generally, I do feel a fair bit better than I did in the early years, but my brain still plays a constant game of ‘whack-a-mole’, continuing to give me symptoms of one kind or the other (ranging from minor to sometimes very disabling).

I’m wondering if the problem’s been that I try going down one track and when that doesn’t work (having given it a really good go) I try going down another track (and give that a really good go too) and so on, when what I actually need to do is to find an approach that is congruent with all the different theories.

I say this as I wonder if the reason I still get symptoms is because, for instance, I don’t just have a ‘reservoir of rage’ with my brain causing symptoms that serve to distract me from releasing that rage (al la Dr Sarno) but I also get symptoms because my brain is fearful and responds to harmless bodily sensations with disproportionate pain (al la Alan Gordon) and also because my brain has ‘wired’ pain due to neuroplasticity (a la Dr Moskowitz).

Therefore, I also wonder if there is one common ‘self-treatment’ regimen/approach that would work ‘across-the-board’ for whyever the mind/body symptoms are plaguing me and other ‘strugglers’ like me (who have completely accepted that our symptoms are caused by the brain).

There aren’t enough hours in the day to endeavour to do what Dr Sarno suggested plus all of what Alan Gordon and Dr Moskowitz (plus what others like, for example, Dan Buglio) recommend – and a problem is, of course, that some of the suggestions are at odds with each other because of the differing theories as to why the brain creates pain and other symptoms. Perhaps then, there isn’t a ‘self-treatment’ regimen/approach that’s ‘one size fits all’ and I'm being ridiculous, but I think it's worth asking the question and pondering whether or not there is one. (Of note is that I'm already ‘getting on with my life’ as best I can and thinking psychological and not physical as a basis for whatever approaches I try.)

I guess I can be accused of looking for ‘the’ silver bullet, but, in my defence, I am not expecting not to have to put the work in or expecting super-fast results.

Any helpful thoughts and suggestions will be gratefully received.

 

[Ellen]

I think there is a commonality between all the theories and approaches for treating TMS. They all seek to bring the unconscious into conscious awareness. Only when these primitive,unconscious emotions and thought processes are brought into conscious awareness can we deal with them using our higher brain. Different practitioners espouse different techniques to accomplish this, and since our brains are so complex and varied, different people will respond differently to these techniques. Some will resonate and some will not. But they all require a sincere desire to look honestly at what we've been hiding from ourselves. Without that sincere desire and commitment, engaging in the techniques will satisfy our need to "do something", but will not result in recovery.

 

[BloodMoon]

Many thanks for your reply @Ellen.

So, from what you've said, it's either a case of none of the techniques (as I believe I've tried them all over the many years that I've had TMS) resonating with the way my particular brain works or that I haven't as yet hit on a technique that resonates with my brain, and/or I don't have a sincere desire and commitment to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself -- I only think that I have a sincere desire and commitment to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself, but I don't really. I simply don't know how I can resolve the latter should the latter actually be the case for me (any suggestions would be welcome) so I feel I can only continue with trying to find a technique or a combination of techniques that will resonate with the way my brain works.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Oh, BloodMoon - I'm sorry that you're still struggling.

You are not alone by any means, and this has become a topic that I struggle with here on the forum, because I don't personally struggle with it. And I don't feel like I know how to explain why that is or how I got there. So maybe, because it's you asking, and because you ask it so coherently, I will give it a try.

Warning - this could be lengthy.

As @Ellen describes, I never subscribed to just one method or technique. The only program I ever did was the SEP - and I'm going to tell you a deep dark secret about that which I rarely disclose - I probably only did two weeks at the most. Because I got it. I don't just "feel" like I got it. I'm saying that I know that I "got IT".

The thing is, I've always had a sense that when I discovered Dr. Sarno, I had a big advantage going into this work, which is that I already seriously believed in self-healing - a belief I started developing in my twenties, almost forty years "Before Sarno". I believe 100% that our minds have much more power than we typically understand, never mind believe in. I had already been using the power of the placebo effect on myself, for example - successfully, as far as I know. And in my past I'd had two distinct and extremely memorable experiences of rapid pain relief which were caused entirely by changing my mindset in one case, and actively using will power in the other - which was unbelievably difficult! I believe that all kinds of extraordinary self-healing is possible - although that it can take an extreme amount of mental focus which is beyond the capability of the average person (definitely including myself).

Another advantage I had, not true for an alarming number of people, is that I also have long had what I can only refer to as very good body awareness. I'm not an athlete, but I grew up swimming, skiing, biking, playing tennis - lots of activities that require body awareness to do reasonably well. As I got older I always made sure I was doing some kind of extra activity which challenged my body, and had massage therapists who emphasized breathing into muscles to relax them. Later on I started doing yoga and also tried meditation during an attempt to control my anxiety - mindfulness being another form of body awareness. Thus, the concept of somatic experiencing, or an exercise where you visualize, for example, a painful right shoulder feeling the same lack of pain as the left shoulder, are easy-peasy for me to understand. Given a high level of calm and mindfulness I can do both.

All of which I think explains, at least to myself, why I "got it" so easily. I only had severe cascading TMS symptoms for a year when I discovered Dr. Sarno in 2011. His TMS theory was the missing piece of the puzzle for me. The light bulb went on, it all made sense, and I knew what I had to do. I didn't need 42 days of the SEP and I never completed Dr. Schubiner's workbook. However, I was also accessing a bunch of other resources that enhanced my knowledge and skills. I have listed these on my profile page. The main ones that I recall having the most influence are:

Hope & Help For Your Nerves (my second book after The Divided Mind, and imho THE #1 resource for controlling anxiety and should be required reading)

When The Body Says No (this book scares some people, but with my belief in self-healing, it inspired me)(and BTW, I will state right here right now that those who are scared by Dr Mate's message are unlikely to heal.)(Which is a radical statement that might provoke rage - which is a good starting point for the work).

Meditations To Change Your Brain (the explanations from a neuroscientist about how our brains are wired was more helpful than Dr Sarno was able to be - it also allowed me to let go of the oxygen deprivation part of his theory which I thought was pretty weak).

Alan's two live webinars in 2012(I think?). They are still here on the forum, and the links are on my profile (these helped me to understand and experience a deeper level of vulnerability in my journaling/writing exercises and I believe that emotional vulnerability is ESSENTIAL to doing the work).

When they were both published later on, I read The Great Pain Deception (like an encyclopedia of TMS) and The Meaning Of Truth, which introduced me to Nicole Sachs.

To this day, Nicole is my go-to resource to teach me, remind me, and give me regular inspiration on the topics of self-compassion, emotional vulnerability, acceptance, and being human. And getting back to writing when it's needed! She always credits Dr. Sarno for the basis of her understanding. I can't say enough about the power of her message, which is in a different format with different guests every week, and yet the essence and the positive outcome are the same. And she is so, so incredibly compassionate and loving. To accept Nicole's love is to open up to being vulnerable.

Nicole reminds us that life is a choice between what hurts, and what hurts worse. And that you can recover from chronic pain, but there is no cure for the pain of life. The TMS brain mechanism exists in everyone, and it will continue to be used by the primitive part of out brains that literally does not know the difference in our stress response between seeing a man-eating tiger, vs getting cut off in traffic or reading the latest horrible news. The TMS mechanism always thinks we are going to die, because mortal dangers were the only kind of stresses that existed in the primitive world.

This is my core belief: once you really understand this key idea, accept it, learn to live with it and learn to manage it, everything else is just extraneous knowledge and individual skills.

Those of us who were born with anxiety are always going to be subject to this process. It's important to accept that 100% recovery is completely unrealistic. I believe that a quick turnaround in the face of a flare is a desirable and very achievable goal. I get to the "oh wait, let's think psychologically!" point almost immediately, and my pain or other flares don't last long as a result. What I do is kind of a mishmash of skills - writing, breathing, mindful relaxation, visualization, and self-talk. I frequently have low-level digestive unease, but it's not very serious and if I'm mindful about breathing and unclenching I can control that, too. I still "can't" (ahem - won't) meditate, which would surely help.

But writing definitely does help. The therapeutic value of "writing shit down" is well known and suggestions are widely available. I think our SEP does a fine job - or visit this wiki page: How do I journal? - The TMS Wiki

Finally - the fact is that probably no one is immune to extreme stress. I certainly am not. I've told the story many times of how, in spite of my highly-self-regarded success of nine years, I ended up with full-blown RA in the spring of 2020 as a result of unrelenting stress during just six weeks. It was a combination of two dysfunctional and emotionally abusive volunteer jobs under the stress of the shutdowns, plus tax season, and of course the uncertainty of a sudden world-wide pandemic. On top of four years of societal dysfunction enough said about that. And the old bugaboo: another decade of aging, ugh. In any case, I became the poster child for Dr. Mate's theories, illustrated in real life. I consulted with Dr Schecter who assured me that I could treat the onset as essentially a TMS response, BUT that I also had to take the meds. I'm managing really well on the oldest and most basic medication for RA, and my rheumatologist is very happy with me. Maybe I could go into remission if I meditated. Heh.

BUT "...the fact is that probably no one is immune to extreme stress." There is a hard truth associated with this statement, which is that someone who is living in circumstances of extreme personal stress and/or a lack of emotional or physical safety is unlikely to recover if they can't change their circumstances. I had the freedom and power to make changes in two of my stress sources - many other people are not so lucky, and my heart invariably breaks for them.

Hm. Long. And I haven't exactly finished on an uplifting note, have I? Which is ironic, because ultimately I have a TON of optimism about the power of this work.

Perhaps I will end with the same thing that Nicole says, which is the reminder to always - ALWAYS - have kindness and patience for ourselves. A little of that goes a LONG way.

XO ~Jan

 

[BloodMoon]

Hi again, @Ellen

In response to your posting, last night I also read some of your old forum posts. In one of them you wrote "TMS is a defense against the truth". I went to bed thinking about this succinct statement and, after sleeping on it, I came to the realisation that 'intellectually' my conscious mind does have "a sincere desire to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself" and thinks it's succeeding, but my subconscious mind resists and won't let me. When I awoke this morning I realised that I had been dreaming for the first time in donkey's years - with considerable angst - about a long term relationship (of around 10 years duration) that I had had almost 30 years ago and I also realised that, although I got over the man with whom I had that relationship years ago, I haven't got over the loss of the sense of belonging that being close to his large family had given me; they were people who showed me kindness and made me feel loved and appreciated -- a stark contrast to my own family (I was an only child and my parents were distant and my father always considered me to be a nuisance). I'm going to keep reminding myself that "TMS is a defense against the truth" every night before I go to bed, to hopefully reveal and 'see' what other truths my subconscious may been hiding.

Also, in one of the threads in which you posted, I saw that Steve O wrote to someone the following: "I would suggest that you don't have a fear of your pain but that you have a fear that it will go away. Get with that for a while, and begin to see it all differently. Then change begins to occur." I'm going to regularly remind myself of this as well. My subconscious mind could well be fearing that my pain and other symptoms will go away and it's just my conscious mind that wants it to desist.

Thanks once again for your reply to me; it's been very helpful.

 

[Ellen]

Many thanks for your reply @Ellen.

So, from what you've said, it's either a case of none of the techniques (as I believe I've tried them all over the many years that I've had TMS) resonating with the way my particular brain works or that I haven't as yet hit on a technique that resonates with my brain, and/or I don't have a sincere desire and commitment to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself -- I only think that I have a sincere desire and commitment to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself, but I don't really. I simply don't know how I can resolve the latter should the latter actually be the case for me (any suggestions would be welcome) so I feel I can only continue with trying to find a technique or a combination of techniques that will resonate with the way my brain works.

I do think that having the sincere desire and commitment to look honestly at what we're hiding from ourselves is key to recovery. I think that when we have that, the right technique and path will present itself. I don't fully understand how I got to that place. I think there was a major shift when I truly believed that I had TMS and that I was causing my own symptoms. I no longer saw myself as a victim, and so felt empowered to change. That change was sudden when it happened, and it felt almost miraculous as I experienced the shift at the core of my being. So I guess I'm saying that belief is the key, or at least it was for me. It's very hard to say exactly what leads to belief. I think what was most helpful for me was listening to and reading Sarno over and over. He sounded like someone I could believe and trust. Eventually it just clicked. And I should add that it's not been permanent, as I've experienced relapse many times over the years. But when I relapse now, I can see fairly quickly that it's because I've shifted into victim mode. And following that realization, I can look honestly at why I am choosing to feel like a victim.

I wish you well on your healing journey. I know how frustrating and lonely it can feel at times.

 

[Ellen]

Hi again, @Ellen

In response to your posting, last night I also read some of your old forum posts. In one of them you wrote "TMS is a defense against the truth". I went to bed thinking about this succinct statement and, after sleeping on it, I came to the realisation that 'intellectually' my conscious mind does have "a sincere desire to look honestly at what I've been hiding from myself" and thinks it's succeeding, but my subconscious mind resists and won't let me. When I awoke this morning I realised that I had been dreaming for the first time in donkey's years - with considerable angst - about a long term relationship (of around 10 years duration) that I had had almost 30 years ago and I also realised that, although I got over the man with whom I had that relationship years ago, I haven't got over the loss of the sense of belonging that being close to his large family had given me; they were people who showed me kindness and made me feel loved and appreciated -- a stark contrast to my own family (I was an only child and my parents were distant and my father always considered me to be a nuisance). I'm going to keep reminding myself that "TMS is a defense against the truth" every night before I go to bed, to hopefully reveal and 'see' what other truths my subconscious may been hiding.

Also, in one of the threads in which you posted, I saw that Steve O wrote to someone the following: "I would suggest that you don't have a fear of your pain but that you have a fear that it will go away. Get with that for a while, and begin to see it all differently. Then change begins to occur." I'm going to regularly remind myself of this as well. My subconscious mind could well be fearing that my pain and other symptoms will go away and it's just my conscious mind that wants it to desist.

Thanks once again for your reply to me; it's been very helpful.

So happy to hear of your insights.

 

[BloodMoon]

Hi @JanAtheCPA

Thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to reply to me so fully; I really appreciate you.

I'm going to read what you have told me about your TMS journey a number of times more to take everything in, but in the meantime you have galvanized me into some action...

I have 'When The Body Says No' on my Kindle. I read it many years ago and can't remember that much about it (which I guess is almost certainly highly significant!) so I'm going to revisit it.

And, in light of what you've said about Nichole Sachs, I've just bought and downloaded 'The Meaning of Truth' to my Kindle. I've watched some of Nicole's videos in the past but they didn't gel with me. However, I read the sample from her book on the Amazon website and it seems to me that what she's got to say will be much more accessible to me personally via the written word. I think it's coincidently significant too that the title of her book is about the 'truth' as it ties in with @Ellen's statement "TMS is a defense against the truth", so that appeals. (I tell of a profound reaction to that statement in my posting above, which I see you have seen.) I didn't get on with journaling about all the shit in my life when I tried it before, but from the viewpoint of seeking the 'truth' that my subconscious is likely to be hiding, I think 'truth journaling' could be really helpful to me.

It's interesting to me that you mention that you feel that part of the reason for your success in dealing with your TMS is due to having good body awareness, because I am the exact opposite of that. I was a comfort/binge eater (now recovered) into my adulthood from the age of about 6 or 7 (due to being messed up by strict, distant and highly critical parents who didn't comfort me as a kid) which made me overweight and because of that I didn't like my body and tried to ignore it. I wasn't good at most sports either (apart from those that involved good hand/eye coordination like tennis and netball) due to my weight and genetic make-up (no 'fast twitch' athletic muscles like Usain Bolt's to be seen at all in my family!).

I'm sorry to hear that you have RA. I too have an auto-immune disease -- two in fact, one of which is pretty rare. The rare one can affect the whole body or, more even more rarely, affect just the eyes. It usually starts with the eyes and progresses to the rest of the body (especially so if, like me, you choose not to take prescription corticosteroids long-term due to their adverse side effects) but mine has stayed with just affecting my eyes... I think it did that because of the TMS work that I've done that has served to help me otherwise too to a certain extent. I therefore also think that you are almost certainly managing very well on the oldest and most basic RA meds because of your mindset.

Thanks again, Jan. You've given me lots of food for thought, contemplation and action. Xx

 

[BloodMoon]

when I relapse now, I can see fairly quickly that it's because I've shifted into victim mode. And following that realization, I can look honestly at why I am choosing to feel like a victim.

That's another interesting way of looking at TMS that I've not considered before... something else for me think about before bed and then to 'sleep on' through the night. I remember that in Dr James Alexander's book 'The Hidden Psychology of Pain; The Use of Understanding to Heal Chronic Pain' he talks about 'dream-seeding' (which is something I hadn't tried).

 

[Ellen]

Hi @JanAtheCPA
(due to being messed up by strict, distant and highly critical parents who didn't comfort me as a kid)

This seems like an important issue to explore. For me, the pain of knowing I was unloved and resented as a child was a huge part of the truth I was hiding from. Also, because I was actually a victim as a child, feeling like a victim as an adult had an amount of familiarity and comfort to it.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I no longer saw myself as a victim,

when I relapse now, I can see fairly quickly that it's because I've shifted into victim mode. And following that realization, I can look honestly at why I am choosing to feel like a victim.

100%. Thanks for that reminder, Ellen. I've long believed that victimhood plays a big role for many people.

Reject victimhood. Replace it with vulnerability.