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Is managing ALL over-reaction the key to cure, or just that which is pain-related?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by music321, Feb 19, 2018.

  1. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    I'm really trying to focus on my pain fully when experiencing it, rather than blocking it out. I'm also really trying to dissociate the pain from emotion/anxiety/fear. I've come to realize, however, that over-reaction, fear, and anxiety are general aspect of my personality. For example, today I sent a letter that caused me a great deal of anxiety. I felt pain as I was mailing it. I realized that the pain was only TMS, yet it was generated by just the stress of the letter. Of course, my life will be better if I can rid myself of all catastrophizing, fear, etc., but is all this really necessary in order to rid myself of TMS?

    Unfortunately, I think it probably is. I've had allergies since a young age. They have not distracted me from unpleasant emotions, but have always existed in response to anxiety.

    What do you think?
     
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    The whole point of the TMS mechanism is to keep you in fear and on your toes, in order to keep you alive. Unfortunately, our brains still live in a primitive and very dangerous world, and they don't know the difference between a sabre-tooth tiger, someone cutting you off in traffic, or your partner getting mad because you didn't take the trash out. Seriously. Add to that the constant barrage of input that the modern world provides, and you have the perfect recipe for TMS.

    I firmly believe that in order to recover, we have to tame the automatic fear response. Part of that response is used to repress negative emotions, and it's going to be helpful to get at the root of those, but a big part of the response is just there to keep us negative and worried.
     
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  3. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    This is sort of what I was afraid of. Taming the fear response is going to be an epic challenge.
     
  4. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    And there's your primitive fearful brain, taking charge again, keeping you right where it wants you to be...

    Can you come up with a constructive counter-argument for this? That's where the power of affirmations comes in.
     
  5. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    You're right. Things will be OK, even if they take longer than I'd like.
     
  6. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Here's a counter-argument/affirmation for you:

    "Hey brain, there's nothing to be afraid of - I'm actually healthy, I'm totally safe, and I really don't need to live with this fear, so let's let it go, okay?"
     
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  7. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    As you work the program and possible see some improvement it should add to your confidence. At some point you just KNOW you are going to conquer this. Take a moment to consider that it's not normal to feel anxious all the time. What you consider super low levels of anxiety probably are more than average. Try to uncover what causes that. Much of it for me was seeing certain outcomes of life events as unimaginable and unbearable. As I dug deep into why this was and chose to accept the outcome either way my anxiety levels reduced drastically. Good luck.
     
  8. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    I would agree, in part. There are inevitabilities that I'll be facing regarding my financial/career trajectory that scare the hell out of me. There's more though. I live with my mom, due to lack of physical function. She's on edge constantly as a result of cancer. Furthermore, a lack of physical movement and social interaction also takes its toll. Reducing anxiety related to pain is one thing, dealing with other stressors is something else.
     
  9. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    You're going to have to face all of those things head on and make the life changes that will make you happy.
     
  10. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    You are entirely right. I've been doing this, and feel like this is part of the solution to TMS: dealing with reality as it is. As soon as there is any self-distraction through TV, music, etc. from problems, the door to other distraction (including TMS) is opened.
     
  11. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    I’m on board with the overreaction being a huge factor. I feel like the only sticking point left with me is the constant preoccupation with thinking about the “situation.” Logically I know it’s harmless. Anxiety as I can telll is gone. Life is looking good. This preoccupation with the TMS is keeping me activated or alert. Trying to find a way out of that.
     
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  12. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    As for my career, I just started thinking of this again this evening. I've been trying to look at my career prospects as being OK, and have been making good progress with it. I heard of a friend of my parents who, at the age of 60 or so, was fired. He's in a pretty tough spot. This has me thinking of my life again.

    I have two choices. I can either start a business doing what I want to do, and possibly end up broke in a few years, or I can play it safe, and do something with less of a chance of failure. Following the dream presents the stress of possible failure. Not following the dream presents the stress of waking each morning knowing I'm not doing what I want to do. I'm not asking which path I should follow, that's for me to figure out. If my fibromyalgia is due to this stress, I don't know how to proceed. This stress will always be with me, since each path has inherent stress. I can't tell myself that I'm safe, and that everything will be OK. I don't know that. Each path (or even both) presents real danger.
     
  13. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    Become ok with either path. Gain some self confidence. If you can do this the stress will fade regardless. You have to fully accept the negatives in your life without getting stressed to be able to truly enjoy the positives. I learned this through my journey with TMS. I was unemployed during that time as well being the primary breadwinner.

    I’m currently working for a corporation, but I’d rather be running my own business, and I can relate. I may make that leap at some point.
     
  14. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, you can.

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-13-overcoming-uncertainty.16565/#post-86749 (New Program - Day 13: Overcoming Uncertainty)


    This is Life. There is no magic to set you free from life's troubles. However you have amplified the sense of danger, and this is something you can qwell. Every single person who has overcome TMS has spent time hanging on the hook you now dangle from. Only you can get yourself off it and to do so you have to face down your fears and tackle the negativity that is running rampant in your mind.

    Then you will learn that a sense of safety is self-generated through self-soothing and self-care, practices that become second nature with time, practice and patience.
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  15. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    Thanks. This is the way out then.
     

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