Ewok
Peer Supporter
I was told by a doctor that it was wishful thinking to believe that my pain and other symptoms are psychogenic - that stress, depression and emotions might make my condition worse but he could guarantee me they are not the cause. My husband generally tries to be supportive of my attempt to heal myself, and my pain, with TMS techniques but I can tell he feels the same way and after more than two years of this, I feel I can not take much more and need a definitive course of action, one way or the other.
I would like your honest option if you think I am deluding myself or if what I have could really just be TMS.
Briefly, my symptoms are female pelvic pain (mainly vaginal pain, sometimes rectal, glute, hip, sciatica, back. I get 'period pain' that comes at the wrong time of month often accompanied by bleeding, like my period keeps starting and stopping. Hormone imbalance. This is more than just 'spotting'.). The pain is difficult but the bleeding is very upsetting because it's very difficult to tell yourself there is nothing wrong, that this is psychogenic - when you have such a physical, visible symptom that you have to take care of. My pain changes each week now (it didn't in the beginning) in line with my cycle/hormone changes. I don't know if this could be a conditioned response. The quality and location of the pain frequently changes but the one, original site of pain very rarely leaves despite what is happening elsewhere. Exercise, heat and massage improve my pain symptoms, as do emotional outpourings.
I've had an extensive work up by several specialists including all sorts of tests, scans, MRIs, even minor surgery that failed to find a cause, although even doctor cautions me that 'sometimes things don't always show up'. After the exploratory surgery the doctor said, I kid you not, that the lining of my pelvic cavity looked "a little angry" (minor inflammation of unknown cause that didn't require any treatment).
I've been diagnosed with:
- Pelvic Floor Hypertension (but was told this could be a reaction to the problem not a cause)
- Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome (???)
- Pudendal Neuralgia/Idiopathic nerve damage (was given nerve drugs but I seemed to be allergic to them - made me very ill)
- Hormone Imbalance (which they believe causes then stop/start period but the hormones to correct it made it worse and I was intolerant to them. Even The Pill, which I'd easily tolerated in the past now cases severe side effects. Doctors do acknowledge that 'severe stress' can cause menstrual bleeding irregularities though.)
- Suspected Endometriosis (even though the surgery and other tests cleared me of any sign of this - one doctor still insisted this could still be the cause because it is "...sometimes not identifiable during surgery especially by surgeons inexperienced in this area...". Because my bleeding in accompanied by pain this is a hard one to shake and I have all the imagery going on for this diagnosis thanks to all my Googling...)
- Anxiety and Depression (actually had these before the pain but they are much worse now)
- Medication oversensitivity (I'm also oversensitive to cold, noise etc. Ironically, the only medications I'm not oversensitive too are pain relievers, which don't work much at all.)
I've been trying to apply Dr. Sarno's techniques for well over a year but have been getting worse. I had a few moments where the pain has disappeared just for a minute after a happy or emotional experience but it's so brief and hard to compare to the overall steady decline. I initially thought my pain could be TMS but the bleeding structural/hormonal (not TMS), so I was still seeing a lot of doctors during this time to deal with the latter issue but have stopped all treatments/doctors visits now as they have no idea what to do with me anyhow and I have lost most of my belief in them.
I have read many TMS books but found the discrepancies between them damaging to my confidence. I now stick with Sarno and Ozanich. I tried courses with pelvic pain mindbody coaches but disliked the psychical comment to their healing techniques. The OBGYN mindbody doctors are seem a little 'one foot in each world' a heavier focus on diets, drugs and hysterectomies that I expected. I'm so frustrated that I can't find the path I'm meant to be on to get to health. Depression and desperation are beginning to get the best of me. No one knows I have this problem except my husband because I just push through the pain. My family knew in the beginning but they were so intrusive and pushy about what I should do that I just told them I was feeling better and eventually they stopped asking. They don't have many boundaries when it comes to privacy and it was humiliating have such a personal, embarrassing problem shared so widely.
Dr. Sarno does allude to pelvic floor pain in MBP and also mentions "...gynaecological conditions that are the stuff of everyday life..." but more information is hard to come by and most other TMS authors avoid this issue, probably due to lack of experience. There are no TMS doctors in my country and I can't afford ongoing counselling.
I am a very sensitive person, prone to worry, perfectionist, can be judgemental, like to be in charge, highly organised, rule follower, goodist, have much difficulty seeing others suffer, kind and caring to others but not myself. I am also prone to mild anxiety and depression. I can have difficulty making friends easily and as we have moved around a lot this has been challenging. When the pain began, it was a tense time in my household with many arguments with my husband, much sleep deprivation due to young children, ill relatives and other run of the mill stressors but I actually thought I had been making good progress in handling all of this when symptoms hit.
Can this all really be mindbody? I know the mind can use the ANS to cause pain but can it go as far as to manipulate hormones, or cause bleeding via another mechanism? (I know Fred Amir mentions a nose bleed case as TMS?)
Thank you for taking the tine to read.
I would like your honest option if you think I am deluding myself or if what I have could really just be TMS.
Briefly, my symptoms are female pelvic pain (mainly vaginal pain, sometimes rectal, glute, hip, sciatica, back. I get 'period pain' that comes at the wrong time of month often accompanied by bleeding, like my period keeps starting and stopping. Hormone imbalance. This is more than just 'spotting'.). The pain is difficult but the bleeding is very upsetting because it's very difficult to tell yourself there is nothing wrong, that this is psychogenic - when you have such a physical, visible symptom that you have to take care of. My pain changes each week now (it didn't in the beginning) in line with my cycle/hormone changes. I don't know if this could be a conditioned response. The quality and location of the pain frequently changes but the one, original site of pain very rarely leaves despite what is happening elsewhere. Exercise, heat and massage improve my pain symptoms, as do emotional outpourings.
I've had an extensive work up by several specialists including all sorts of tests, scans, MRIs, even minor surgery that failed to find a cause, although even doctor cautions me that 'sometimes things don't always show up'. After the exploratory surgery the doctor said, I kid you not, that the lining of my pelvic cavity looked "a little angry" (minor inflammation of unknown cause that didn't require any treatment).
I've been diagnosed with:
- Pelvic Floor Hypertension (but was told this could be a reaction to the problem not a cause)
- Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome (???)
- Pudendal Neuralgia/Idiopathic nerve damage (was given nerve drugs but I seemed to be allergic to them - made me very ill)
- Hormone Imbalance (which they believe causes then stop/start period but the hormones to correct it made it worse and I was intolerant to them. Even The Pill, which I'd easily tolerated in the past now cases severe side effects. Doctors do acknowledge that 'severe stress' can cause menstrual bleeding irregularities though.)
- Suspected Endometriosis (even though the surgery and other tests cleared me of any sign of this - one doctor still insisted this could still be the cause because it is "...sometimes not identifiable during surgery especially by surgeons inexperienced in this area...". Because my bleeding in accompanied by pain this is a hard one to shake and I have all the imagery going on for this diagnosis thanks to all my Googling...)
- Anxiety and Depression (actually had these before the pain but they are much worse now)
- Medication oversensitivity (I'm also oversensitive to cold, noise etc. Ironically, the only medications I'm not oversensitive too are pain relievers, which don't work much at all.)
I've been trying to apply Dr. Sarno's techniques for well over a year but have been getting worse. I had a few moments where the pain has disappeared just for a minute after a happy or emotional experience but it's so brief and hard to compare to the overall steady decline. I initially thought my pain could be TMS but the bleeding structural/hormonal (not TMS), so I was still seeing a lot of doctors during this time to deal with the latter issue but have stopped all treatments/doctors visits now as they have no idea what to do with me anyhow and I have lost most of my belief in them.
I have read many TMS books but found the discrepancies between them damaging to my confidence. I now stick with Sarno and Ozanich. I tried courses with pelvic pain mindbody coaches but disliked the psychical comment to their healing techniques. The OBGYN mindbody doctors are seem a little 'one foot in each world' a heavier focus on diets, drugs and hysterectomies that I expected. I'm so frustrated that I can't find the path I'm meant to be on to get to health. Depression and desperation are beginning to get the best of me. No one knows I have this problem except my husband because I just push through the pain. My family knew in the beginning but they were so intrusive and pushy about what I should do that I just told them I was feeling better and eventually they stopped asking. They don't have many boundaries when it comes to privacy and it was humiliating have such a personal, embarrassing problem shared so widely.
Dr. Sarno does allude to pelvic floor pain in MBP and also mentions "...gynaecological conditions that are the stuff of everyday life..." but more information is hard to come by and most other TMS authors avoid this issue, probably due to lack of experience. There are no TMS doctors in my country and I can't afford ongoing counselling.
I am a very sensitive person, prone to worry, perfectionist, can be judgemental, like to be in charge, highly organised, rule follower, goodist, have much difficulty seeing others suffer, kind and caring to others but not myself. I am also prone to mild anxiety and depression. I can have difficulty making friends easily and as we have moved around a lot this has been challenging. When the pain began, it was a tense time in my household with many arguments with my husband, much sleep deprivation due to young children, ill relatives and other run of the mill stressors but I actually thought I had been making good progress in handling all of this when symptoms hit.
Can this all really be mindbody? I know the mind can use the ANS to cause pain but can it go as far as to manipulate hormones, or cause bleeding via another mechanism? (I know Fred Amir mentions a nose bleed case as TMS?)
Thank you for taking the tine to read.
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