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Is it the past or the present?

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Zade, Apr 19, 2015.

  1. Zade

    Zade New Member

    In reading about TMS there are several explanations for symptoms...repressed emotions, anger and frustration from childhood and the present day stressors that trigger the pain. It seems to me that the last several episodes have had to do with current problems causing anxiety, the timing almost comic. For example, playing ball, a stuffed teddy bear like ball, with my senile mom, on one of the many trips to take care of her, and just slightly bending forward to retrieve the ball and oops that tweak that takes months to get over. The last episodes were related to a very important career step. And others seem to have to do with lack of material support . The huge and most painful time I had in my mid thirties after my husband suddenly died.I feel that has caused the initial patterns.I did dig into my childhood and found some reasons for anger and frustration years ago upon first reading Dr. Sarno's book. But now I do feel it's more about issues in the present. But there will always be stress.....so I feel stuck. I have managed to allay some flare ups but not to get rid of the pain. I feel my brain is just so used to its ruts that the neurological pathways are well trodden and knowing that it's emotions and not the physical structure that cause the pain does not erase these deep ruts....How can I stop my brain from triggering this reaction?
  2. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    Good question zade, one that took me a while to figure out. I'm still working on it as we speak. I believe it's how you react to life in general. Most of these behaviors are learned at a young age and carried on.

    I kept digging in my past to try and bring up stuff but it never would work. I was searching for a answer out of fear. I had to forgive, let go, or mend something that happend in the past.

    As time went on its amazing to how much I reacted to different things in life. From big to small stuff. My ego buried who I truly was. I was putting on a big mask each day and would act like nothing was wrong, until my body told me. Boy was my shadow side of me scary, i never wanted to face it. The ego blocks or hinders a lot of people from healing.

    people heal in many different ways, many roads to get to the final outcome. Some may heal from digging in the past, for me it didn't really help. Stop trying to heal so much and let go. Surrender to what is and go with the flow of whatever life is dealing you. Your body is trying to tell you something, look at the "why" you need your tms symptoms. Keep at it you will heal when your ready. Goodluck, we are what we believe.

    Ellen and Zade like this.
  3. Barb M.

    Barb M. Peer Supporter

    Hi Zade, This strikes a chord in me. Sometimes it's not comforting to me to know it's not structural because the brain seems so complex--I wonder how I'll ever do all the "rewiring." Just letting you know you're not alone in that feeling. Sorry I don't have any answers at the moment:)
    Zade likes this.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Zade,

    It may help to remember that it is in the present that the patterns keep repeating themselves, pressurizing our system, and causing the Inner Child "intollerable feelings." Dr. Sarno said that it was mostly the personality types, more than the history or the present stessors that he linked to TMS cases and symptoms. So you are confirming this in your observation of yourself.

    Remember also that Dr. Sarno said we cannot change our personality. It was simply our awareness of the ongoing hell that we create by our stances in life, that we undo the TMS symptoms. Awareness, of how we treat ourselves, and connecting this to how the Inner Child probably feels, and hence the cause of symptoms ---not change. We "put two and two together." This may help to re-assure you a little, because I sense that you are, in your symptoms also, wanting very much to "get rid of." So if you hold the needed skill as "clearly observing and connecting to Dr. Sarno's theory" rather than "making the tension stop," this may be easier and more do-able.

    Andy B.
  5. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I agree that it is maybe impossible to change our personalities if we are perfectionists or goodists.
    I have both, so I just try to modify those traits... not be too much of a perfectionist or want or expect
    everyone to like me. I used to try to tell jokes or be generally funny, until a friend told me I didn't need
    to do that, to just be myself which is why people liked me. Funny, but was often a goodist and let some
    people with emotional problems call him on the phone even overnight and he would spend hours
    trying to advise them.

    My best friend was such a perfectionist, he tightened screws so tight they could never be loosened.
    He was just as wound up and it was stressful on his wife and kids. He dealt with perfectionism and
    other TMS problems (not knowing about TMD back then) by drinking a bottle of wine every night
    and then falling asleep. Not a good way to deal with TMS.

    So I've learned to keep trying to modify the character traits that cause me or others pain.
    Zade likes this.
  6. Zade

    Zade New Member

    Thank you Andy. I guess why I'm frustrated is because I feel at this point in time that my back is so sensitive that just about anything will set it off, the nerves are so sensitized. I can directly feel a thought in my back. My physical therapist, the only one anywhere near, just moved, and thinking about that caused an immediate tensing. Though the mechanisms may be from childhood I feel that this is just a direct present thought.
  7. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Zade,
    So you are describing a direct experience of anxiety transferred to your body, and resulting in TMS symptoms? I get that this seems nighmare-ish, in that it keeps happening, and that you seem to have no control over the situation. I understand more why you wanted to find a way of "stopping this." On the other hand, you are working with a direct awareness and experience, connecting mind to symptoms. There is much here to go from, in terms of contact with yourself and self-understanding. It may be that your nervous system is really keyed up. Self-compassion, which is hard-won but invaluable, helps to soothe while progress on other fronts is occurring. The SEP gives you a wide range of tools and experiences. I hope you find this good for you.
    Andy B.
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2015
    Zade likes this.
  8. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had some computer trouble this morning and it made me angry but I decided it was just more technological madness and did not let it overtake me.
    I played around with formatting and have solved the problem.

    I think perseverance helps me a lot. But if I am really pissed about something mechanical or technological, I find that leaving it and
    distracting myself even for a little while with doing something pleasant helps. I go back to the maddening task and solve the problem.

    I guess I've learned self-understanding and being patient with myself.
    Zade likes this.
  9. Zade

    Zade New Member

    Thank you Andy. what is SEP?
  10. jodib

    jodib Peer Supporter

    This is what's happening for me too. The pain is depressing me. But this and a of the responses are sooo helpful so thank you all.
  11. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    The present can trigger emotional distresses of the past, so I believe the two work together.

    Good friends of mine divorced recently and that triggered feelings for me of anger, abandonment,
    and insecurity I got after my parents divorced when I was seven.

    The Structured Educational Program is great. It leads you through daily mental exercises that
    can help you discover the emotional (TMS) reasons you are in pain, and how to stop the pain.

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