I also would like to add something to this. I am a musician, snd last year got diagnosed with carpal tunnel. Not much pain but alot of numbness and tingling. I tried everythign and finally this past Jan had surgery ( with one if the most respected Hand specialists in the world). Unfortunately no change. I have a history of back surgery, shoulder and knees . When i read the divided mind , as many say the pages jumped out at me. My hand should be fine now and it isn’t. I think I have TMS. any inout is appreciated. I am also trying to locate one of Sarnos lectures.
Thanks
It
should be fine now. As if every problem can, or
should be solved with the flip of a switch. Like life is a series of tasks on a todo list that are to be checked off one by one. I do think that in some ways we place more importance on the arbitrary scorecards as opposed to what work was actually accomplished. I recall spending nights studying multiple choice questions so I could “pass a test”, not particularly interested in achieving a lasting understanding of the subject at the time.
And who can blame us for falling into this way of thinking? Such mentality is heavily thrust upon us by cultural influences. But we can choose to live differently. Maybe it’s less a choice to live differently and more of a choice to merely... live?
So you read a book, congratulations. The fact that you saw yourself on the pages is actually a really good sign. But more work is yet to be done. If you are thinking that the problem should be instantly solved after you read the last word of the book, you’re not quite there yet.
I do believe you can improve. I believe I can improve too. To be perfectly honest I don’t know if I wrote this more for your sake or for my sake. I know that the way I moralize situations is heavily working against me and affecting my perspectives in life and on the day to day. I could be standing in line at a grocery store and it starts taking longer than I wanted it to. In my distress, I may end up feeling highly anxious, irritated, or even sanctimonious. I would begin to think: “This is ridiculous! Why are there only two cashiers here? How much time must I waste standing here?”
This is a form of moralizing. And I believe you’re doing it to some extent when you say that you
should be cured already. And as hard as it can be to hear, overcoming this particular challenge is highly individualized. One person can read a book and flip that switch. Others have a longer and more involved process. Wherever you fall on this spectrum, it is exactly what
should be, for you.
This ties in heavily with the personality traits Sarno recognized in his patients. I’m indeed fairly high on the perfectionist personality trait. Perfectionists can often have idealistic views of how the world is
supposed to be, and when things stray from that particular vision we end up highly disappointed. Recognizing this has been a great step forward for me. I don’t think it’s about changing who you are (I feel pride in my personality traits, and I know that I have a lot of strengths due to the way I view the world), or wanting to force the world to operate how one thinks it should. It’s about meeting in the middle, and recognizing the times when you are letting that personality trait become overly expressive and making your day miserable. Don’t let the
should be’s stand in the way of you delving deeper into these concepts. From the sounds of it, you are already on the path to healing. I have faith in you continuing in that direction.