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Is attitude key?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by dharn999, Sep 13, 2016.

  1. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    so I'm three months into my second healing and I had been doing a little bit better until recently and the pain started to hit hard again.. The pain started to resemble how it was the first time 3-4 years ago. This got me thinking about how the first time I started my tms journey I had new life because I found the cure, but man, I cannot duplicate that positive attitude at all. Ive tried faking it but it just doesn't work, this got me thinking that is attitude one of the biggest factors? Has anyone ever healed without having a positive attitude? I'm assuming not. I know that my lack of positive attitude is more than likely from doubt since my pain returned and I don't really know why (I never found the magic reason the first time either)

    The pain stuck around pretty good the first time I healed but I just knew it would leave eventually and I had nothing to worry about. I actually stopped researching and participating in the forum because I had my life to live..

    Anyone have tips on how to get a positive attitude? One would think I wouldn't be negative because I've won this battle before
  2. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member


    The pain does not matter. Your attitude does not matter.

    The pain is a distraction.

    What is before you is life. Not pain, not attitude.

    TMS is harmless. Take life with every breath.

  3. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/weird-burning-side-pain.13646/ (Weird Burning Side Pain)

    Fred Amir - 'I am asked all the time by my seminars participants and my clients if once they recover rapidly, will they be pain-free forever.

    That answer is clear: it depends on the level of stress and tension in your life. So if have a stressful episode, you can have TMS symptoms.

    If you expect to never have TMS symptoms, you set yourself up for a major disappointment. Dr. Sarno mentions many of his own TMS symptoms in his books, ranging from Leg pain and tooth ache to digestive problems.No one is immune from this human condition.

    If you understand that just as there is no such a thing as a problem-free life, you realize that there is also no such a thing as a TMS-free life, then you prepare and train yourself to deal with both as an empowered, resourceful individual.

    So instead of relying on wishful thinking (I will never have pain again), you will rely on your strengths to deal with whatever life throws at you.

    That way you empower yourself to stay positive, present, and powerful. '
    Tennis Tom and MWsunin12 like this.
  4. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    'prepare and train'....hmmm Good advice. Bushido! Hai!
  5. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    I just wish I could really figure out what stress I was dealing with or what unconscious factors I'm dealing with. Last time I just accepted the diagnosis and got back to life. This time I've deliberately made sure I stated active and made sure I didn't let any leg or back pain prevent me from doing anything (from exercise, family trips, or things around the house).

    Last time I had stepped away from exercise and some activities so getting active again was like a new lease on life. Even when it hurt I didn't care because I knew I was ok. This time my feelings about activities are negative because I know it's tms and it ticks me off that it's acting up now when it wasn't an issue 4 months ago.

    Is it distracting me? Yes, and I'm aware of it so that's a whole mental process there.. Do I know what's the cause? Sure do, but it isn't lessening any.

    Here's an example of how I'm feeling lately.. I coach high school football, and most years I look forward to every aspect, but this year I'm struggling with excitement and I know it's because I feel like crap and I'm focused on my tms.. Three years ago when I discovered tms, I was the most active coach on the field even though my pain was still there. Having the cause of my pain finally gave me a new attitude... Now I can't get my attitude positive and I know it's because of my symptoms returning...

    So ultimately I'm struggling with accepting my tms will leave since I'm dreading things (even though I'm not removing myself from the activities) I'm still dreading them... This make sense
  6. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I feel you need read outcome independence again ....I am going threw the same and I remind myself every day not to care anymore about the pain ..
  7. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    I agree, it just sucks because I know I'm trying too hard to not care, the first time I didn't have to try, this time I'm trying too hard... I just can't duplicate my first time and it sucks
  8. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    What's going on in your life that causing this pain ?
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  9. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you looked at the Rahe-Holmes list of stressors to find the underlying emotional causes for your TMS? Your initial success may have been a placebo "book cure". Although having a good attitude in life, seeing the glass as half full versus half empty will help you get through life challenges, regarding TMS BELIEF in TMS theory is what you need. The best thing you can do is probably go back and hit the TMS books and other materials that are abundant at this site, until you brainwash your minds into believing that your pain is caused by your subconscious trying to protect you from dealing with your emotions head-on.
  10. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    My first time through I wasn't "TMSing" as much to where I saw everything as tms or worried about my healing as much. I seriously just read the book, (didn't heal immediately) started to journal (like one week) and accepted the diagnosis over and over in my brain... But man I just remember the excitement I had finding this new information about my pain. It made sense and although it took months maybe a year (I really don't remember when I healed) I just knew it was right so I didn't have to worry about my pain anymore... Now I feel that I'm too wrapped up in trying to heal right now and getting frustrated over and over... I know my stresses and I've journaled more than I thought I ever could.. I actually forced myself to stop researching for a while because I am starting to think that I'm stuck trying to find the right way to heal instead of just doing what I did the first time and just accept that my emotions and unconscious are causing this pain.

    But again, as much as I say it over and over I don't know why I can't get excited.. Like I said, I don't keep myself from activities or life, but man I'm just not enjoying things..

    Obviously my belief isn't there right now because of the returning of pain (although I've succeeded before) and that's why I'm low attitude wise now.. I just don't know if I just have to ride out the storm and purposely make it a point to get positive about this and try to fake it until it's real
  11. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's all Dr. Sarno says you have to do to heal. I don't know where all this need to journal and to meditate to access some black bullet incident in early childhood. I think sitting around digging up negativity from one's past just leads to more depression, being in chronic pain is depressing enough. Dr. Sarno said to switch your thoughts to the psychological when you feel the physical symptom, not to lie down on a couch dig into your past looking for bleakness. Personally, I think all this meditation talk may be a cross-over from the popularity of yoga and Eastern thought today. You don't have to do psychic-archeology to TMS heal. Dr. Sarno preached to just do it! If you don't know what it is you want to do that makes you happy, that's another story.
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2016
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  12. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Maybe you're judging your pain too much. It seems like you're really upset that you can't figure it out and that has got you beating yourself up. Your inner child probably does not like that. I think that's what you mean about attitude like you have a bad attitude towards the pain because it got you again and you're being a perfectionist about it.
    Maybe don't be upset with the pain or why you can't figure it out but just keep being persistent with your TMS therapy?
    birdsetfree likes this.
  13. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Positive attitude does little, it's more important to change perception. At that point it all comes into being.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  14. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    I understand that I need to change how I look at my pain because by being so upset with it, Is ultimately giving it more power.

    Also, by positive attitude I'm meaning a positive attitude during the healing process, not a lack of positive attitude resulting in the returning of pain. I guess the better word to use here is motivation. I'm doing everything I should be doing but it feels like a chore instead of a necessary task.

    Honestly I see and feel the difference between this healing process compared to last, I just don't know what to do to change it. I mean, I wake up in the morning and go about my day like normal but I feel like I'm just waiting for things to get better instead of living. I know that this is delaying the healing and keeping me in limbo... But how do I change this? Am I not believing enough and that's why I'm monitoring things in hopes of proof? I just see that I do not have the pep in my step like I did when I started to heal before...

    I guess I just worry that I won't be able to shake this tms because I'll be constantly comparing it to my previous success and keeping the cycle going..
  15. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member


    Your post is riddled with answers. You don't have to have a positive attitude to heal. Chore and necessary task, same thing. The glass is half full...

    Stop comparing now to then. Life changes and you have a new mountain to climb today.
    Don't wait to get better, live now. You don't change it, let yourself change. Believe in yourself and monitor your emotions, that is the proof of progress.

    Pep in your step is not the measure. It is the step that moves you.

    The cycle will continue throughout life. You can affect the cycle with awareness and presence of mind to reach beyond what you think is possible.

    Think of your overriding goal of what you want and need in life and determine to get there. Getting there is not as important as knowing you will ultimately.

    These are all your ideas dharn999, reflected through the prism of mindbody medicine.
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  16. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Somebody posted something on here that was really smart. They said "you don't wait for the pain to go away and start living, you start living and then the pain goes away." That sums it up I think. That sentence took me through all of last month. I just read it and had the best 3 weeks in the last 5 years.
    JanAtheCPA and birdsetfree like this.
  17. dharn999

    dharn999 Well known member

    That is exactly what I did the first time I had pain. This time I'm stuck thinking about all the psychological elements and I can't stop monitoring it. The fact that it has returned has me even questioning if I had success the first time around.

    I do agree that I need to live to get rid of the pain, and like I said, I haven't changed anything about how I live, but I can tell I've changed about how I feel about everything I do... Like, I still work out, but I notice every twinge of pain I get and that bothers me since I didn't have any four months ago..

    So while I feel like I'm living my life, I'm not enjoying it and that's where the attitude factor comes in.. I know what is causing my pain and I keep thinking that this should be enough to get rid of it again, but I'm focused on it too much as My dam TMS instead of seeing it as a positive because now I know it isn't physical like I use to think before discovering tms the first time
    Ines likes this.
  18. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Well it sounds like you are very aware and the fact that you've already succeeded once is really promising. It will happen. It just takes time. You don't have to answer this but what sort of things make you happy? Are you depressed maybe? I was really depressed about 6 months ago and I would just go through motions but I couldn't feel happiness. It eventually went away though.
  19. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member


    Looking over at all the responses you are getting, and reading your legitimate continuing explanation, I am seeing a circular case made from you. Your concern is real, the pain is certainly real.

    All people on this forum know there is a problem, and as luck or perseverance would have it, they gravitated to this forum because truth has an answer.

    Doctor Sarno provided us the answer in the form of a new diagnosis.

    Think about modern medicine and the hundreds of millions of people in the western world. In my view, what Doctor Sarno has uncovered is the most astounding and important medical discovery in the history of medicine. Because mindbody afflictions are universal, there are multiple epidemics going on, and the same unconscious emotions that cause us pain are also responsible for the social ills because they direct human behavior.

    Getting back to you dharn999. Attitude is not going to help. Knowledge is the cure. Read the books again. Let the information sink in again. Stop worrying. Denigrate the pain. Enjoin your unconscious thoughts to focus on how you want to live today.

    There is no simple fix to getting rid of pain. It may take a long time. Or it may go away later tonight. You cannot put a clock on it. The knowledge is the cure. It works for me. Sometime pain returns with a vengeance. So what. It goes away eventually.
    Ines likes this.
  20. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Dharn, your brain is being overwhelmed with negative self-talk. You have to stop, clear your mind, and LISTEN to the negative messages your brain is feeding you. And then find a way to change them to something that is constructive, rather than destructive.

    Never forget: our primitive brains are wired to be negative. We are wired to always be scanning the horizon for danger. It's a primitive survival technique, nothing more. In primitive times, the danger was pretty concrete: there was the danger of starving, and the danger of being killed by just about everything. All you had to do was try to live long enough to breed the next generation - which typically was not very many years. This negative outlook was an important key to survival.

    In the modern world, our poor brains have way too many years, years that are quite safe from actual physical danger, to soak up all kinds of fears, and those fears include all the negatives of being a socialized human being - which of course is what Freud told us, and which Dr. Sarno rediscovered by studying Freud when he developed his theories.

    Around here we talk a lot about meditation and mindfulness - those practices are all about turning off the constant barrage of negative self-talk, and calming the brain. There are about a gazillion ways to do this, with many different authors and practitioners and spiritual leaders. Perhaps you might be interested in a couple of resources that I'm thinking of just off the top of my head:

    http://www.10percenthappier.com/mindfulness-meditation-the-basics/ (Mindfulness Meditation: The Basics) This is Dan Harris, the ABC news anchor who wrote a pretty entertaining book about his personal journey towards self-awareness and discovery of meditation.

    http://www.soundstrue.com/store/meditations-to-change-your-brain-281.html?gclid=CMjqwvi9ks8CFZCCfgodPTcDmA (Meditations to Change Your Brain) This is an audio program by neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, PhD, and neurologist Richard Mendius, MD, which I found really helpful early in my journey, because they explained the whole negative-wiring thing really well.

    Good luck,


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