Intro and Day 1 of Accepting TMS as the Cause of my Pain

I have been suffering with on and off low back pain, sciatica, testicular pain, perineal pain, etc for most of my 20's (29 now). I also have a good bit of anxiety, OCD and depression. I take Lexapro 10mg, Klonopin .5mg as needed and cannabis daily.

My first issue started in early 20s. First I was diagnosed with prostatitis. During further exploration I was found to have a testicular tumor on my left testicle. The testicle was removed and luckily was a non-cancerous tumor. I thought my back pain was from the tumor, and it did go away for a bit from the rest after surgery. The pain then continued on and off until the most recent and severe episode explained below.

I started dealing with stresses at work earlier this year and begin getting tension headaches and TMJ pain. Went to Dr. who did physical tests and blood tests. Nothing came back. Eventually with some self care and extra sleep I was able to be mostly comfortable.

Early in the summer I purchased a new car. I began to agonize daily about it being damaged, how I should have a garage to keep it in but I do not. I started to resent my neighbors kids because they would get close to it or touch it. I would wash the car every week. This began to lead me to be obsessive about our other cars and the condition of our home and yard. I would resent everyone who walked on my lawn because they were ruining my yard. Needless to say, it was a bit ridiculous looking back on it now.

In the end of the summer I started to get my typical back pain. I also had to fill in at work during the graveyard shift during this pain. This lack of sleep did not help. I started to get some groin pain and was paranoid something serious was wrong since I read an article about testicular torsion. I got extreme anxiety and I went to urgent care who sent me to the ER for an ultrasound of the testicle. This made everything 10x worse. I worry about money a ton and knew the ER was going to be expensive. The ER found nothing wrong and told me to follow up with urology who said nothing is wrong with the testicle and to take care of my back pain at a chiro. I decided to try physical therapy.

Current day: I started PT with a pelvic floor specialist about 2 months ago and it has worked for the most part. I get flare ups often, but I am able to have more control using my breathing techniques and daily yoga stretches. I recently stumbled upon TMS and just finished The Mindbody Prescription. It is crazy how many of the personality types and symptoms align with things I have felt my whole life. I followed up with my Doctor and I am going to get an MRI just to make sure no serious disease exists for peace of mind. I received a spinal Xray in the past that showed nothing. I am hopeful that the MRI shows no serious disease and I can finally accept that I need to work on TMS treatment. I am still figuring out the reasons for these repressed emotions and personality traits I am trying to hide.

 

Thank you Jan for the warm welcome and resources! This person's story does sound a lot like mine. I enjoyed reading your reply the resources within it. I will continue contributing to the board with my progress.