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Im at the end of my rope

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by BlissfulYonath, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. BlissfulYonath

    BlissfulYonath New Member

    I feel like I’m at the end of my rope with chronic pain. I’ve suffered various symptoms of pelvic pain for years and it’s starting to feel like a hole that I can’t dig myself out of. I’m a young man in my early twenties and at times I feel like I have no future because of my pain.

    My symptoms include urinary frequency and rectal pain that intensifies after bowel movements. I’ve also dealt with anal fissures for a long time. For a while I thought an undiagnosed fissure was the source of my pain. Today, I finally had a colonoscopy and my doctor told me that everything looked normal and he had no explanation for my symptoms. This of course left me feeling extremely depressed because I was hoping he could find something treatable and straightforward.

    As well as seeing a CRS, I’ve been to urologists, pelvic floor physiotherapists, and health psychologists all with no lasting benefit.

    I’m familiar with the term “functional pain” and I’m aware that not all pain stems from tissue damage or structural problems. I’m struggling to believe that my pain is functional because it can be so debilitating at times. Also, my main trigger is the physical process of having a bowel movement. This leads me to believe that there must be a physical problem.

    I feel like I’ve exhausted all of my medical options at this point and I’m starting to seriously consider TMS. I’ve had days and even weeks where my pain was manageable or not there at all. The problem is that I can’t identify what makes the pain better or worse. The last time my symptoms improved It was not a result of any change in behavior or TMS practice. It just feels like there is someone in charge of giving me pain and he took a vacation that week. I’m not new to TMS and mind body healing I just haven’t fully committed to because I always thought there could be a physical issue.

    I’ve posted about my situation on another forum and got replies from people with my exact same symptoms who’ve never recovered. This left me feeling even more hopeless. If anyone has been in a similar situation and recovered I would love to hear some feedback or advice.
  2. MindBodyPT

    MindBodyPT Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi srkellz,

    Welcome to the TMS forums, you're in a good place for healing to begin. I've linked another member's pelvic pain success story from a couple years ago here:

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/pelvic-pain-healed.8680/ (Pelvic Pain - Healed)

    I'm sorry to hear you've been suffering for so long. I'm sure it was so frustrating for you to hear the doctor say that nothing was structurally wrong! It can also be a blessing in disguise...since you have ruled out a physical reason for your pain, you can begin using mind-body methods to free yourself from your pain.

    I think that pain from TMS can be 10x worse than pain from structural issues, personally, from my own experience and seeing others with both conditions. Sarno agreed...TMS is the worst pain of all.

    Full recovery from TMS pelvic pain is absolutely possible. Let us know how we can help on your journey! Have you taken a look at the Structured Education Program, Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program or other TMS books?
  3. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I tried to find a cause and effect relationship between my pain symptoms and exact specific events in life and it was not always productive. Only when I accepted that I had a general anxiety syndrome and started dealing with hypersensitivity of my nervous system, things started moving. A sheer number of your symptoms points to a similar situation.
  4. Vertigo22

    Vertigo22 New Member

    Hi srkellz45,

    Seeing your post made me finally sign up to the forum and need to reply because I think I know some of what you are going through - that is, we have some similar symptoms and I also struggled (and still do) with doubt.

    If you don't mind, I'll share my story and see if maybe you seem some similarities (and hopefully some hope too!)

    I'm a man in his early 30s and I've been suffering from what was diagnosed as chronic pelvic pain / prostatitis early this year after seeing no fewer than 6 specialists in as many months (urologist, pelvic floor, etc). At first, my symptoms were a constant burning in my urinary tract and bladder, worse after I urinated, and then a persistent pain in my genitals and insane urgency to urinate that was there 24/7. My pain also intensified after every bowel movement.

    I read a ton of forums and posts and medical papers about this mysterious condition and the conclusions were depressing. "Uncurable", "extremely difficult to treat", "lifelong" -- pretty much all the worst words to read. There were dozens of possible treatments that "might" help "some" people, etc.

    After reading those, I was at my wit's end too. Depressed, suicidal even, but then I ended up researching the anxiety and tension connection and that lead me to Sarno's work and eventually here on the forum.

    I was skeptical at first, just like you probably are, not wanting to believe emotions could be involved in pain - or that my pain was somehow different than all the common TMS symptoms (back pain, etc.). I also refused to believe I was harbouring any repressed emotional pain, trauma, etc.

    But after a couple of months of slowly accepting the possibility of TMS (part of me is still hesitant, wondering if it's some undiagnosed physical issue), there have been some notable changes with my pain.

    I'm not fully recovered yet - but I'm doing so much better. I still suffer from persistent (literally non-stop) urinary urges and pelvic pain, but all the burning has disappeared and the overall intensity decreased. Bowel movements don't seem to affect me as much as they did before either.

    I've also started seeing a therapist. At first, I was thinking it was a waste of time, but literally five minutes of probing into my childhood and that charade collapsed. I shook, couldn't stop crying, mucous seeped from my nose - the whole variety pack. Those are not things that are normally supposed to happen when you think of your relationship with your parents.

    So I'm not "cured" yet or necessarily close. I'm still having issues with doubt and fear, but this is the first time in a year I've started feeling in any way "better."

    A good reminder is that if this was a physical issue, the symptoms would have changed as a result of something that affects physical, structural issues. All I've done is worked on my anxiety, tension and emotional issues.

    So, to wrap up a long-winded post on my part, my suggestion would be to dive in. Accept TMS as much as you can. Investigate your past. See a therapist. Meditate. Consider emotional factors. You won't get better overnight or in the blink of an eye, but if it is TMS (and it sounds like it) you will slowly get better. And honestly, if all your other options turned out to be nothing, you literally have nothing to lose at least trying this path.
  5. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Amazing! Congratulations!
  6. BlissfulYonath

    BlissfulYonath New Member

    I appreciate this response and I'm glad to hear that your pain is improving. It's been hard for me to accept that my pain is most likely linked to my emotions and stress but I'm slowly getting there. Reading posts like this definitely helps push me in the right direction.

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