I think I'm stuck, do I need a different approach?

For the last 3-4 months (don't even wan't to count it) I developed so many new symptoms, and yes it appeared after a lot of stress. It's funny because my main problem was pelvic pain and now it pops only time to time and it's usually in the background and goes away quickly. Instead of that here comes daily headaches, stomach problems, knee pain, groin pain and some other lovely symptoms. I decided that I am gonna get better and it's not gonna stop me in accomplishing my goals. I now know that all of these symptoms are TMS because, to make this story short, I did get better and symptoms moved around but there are days when it's just too much, like today.

I find meditations help me tremendously, they usually don't take the pain away but I feel so calm and in peace with the pain that I think is a good way to go. Journaling is not something I do daily because it started to make me angry and irritating to write every day when sometimes I just didn't know what to write about.

I was wondering, how can one deal with worry about the future and pressure of making some goals successful? I decided that I'm gonna graduate finally because I'm really close and not let the pain stop me, but it's hard sometimes to work when I'm in so much pain or I'm to obsessed with worrying that completely distracts me. I admit, what I'm studying is unfortunately not something that makes me so happy, but I need a degree to find a job and that is the reality I live in. My dreams of making my hobby a job got crushed, for now at least, and it made me feel really sad but that's the way it is. But I wanna make me proud, not my family and to please them, but do it for me. I wan't to show myself that I can do it despite all of this shitstorm I'm going through. I wan't to hold diploma in my hands and get on with my life. Maybe some people can't understand it, but I have a huge blockage with all of this. How can I do this and not put pressure on myself? How can I make this easier and more smoother? I could use someones 2 cents on this. I feel like I'm running in a circle of pain and despair and honestly it really pisses me off.

Cheers
Avy

 

Do you get any exercise?
What is your major?
What is your hobby?

 

I was exercising and feeling great before summer, but when all of this started to happen I stopped. I tried to begin again recently but my groin started to hurt/burn/get tight and it freaked me out because I had multiple surgeries on that area. When I realized it's just TMS playing with me it reduced so I decided to start again with some light yoga. A cold knocked me down for a week so I actually started today. Must admit it felt good, but I'm craving for some running (haven't run in 2 1/2 years). I'm studying economics, but I freaking love to make handmade goods. Zero correlation between those two.

 

Thanks for the info it helps. Forest the mod here, is an economics teacher, maybe he can help you find a niche in that field that has a nexus with the crafts you really like to do. I can't emphasize the need to get some daily exercise to maintain your bodily health to be able to have the mind confidence to deal with the TMS gremlin's tricks. I can't speak for the physical limitations your surgeries have had on your exercise choices, it sounds like you can still do something. Why do you need a sheep-skin to make money? It seems today, spending years in college, studying something you hate, will rob you of years of wage earning. In the old days when fewer went to college, it may have helped, but today everyone can go to college so I don't think it sets you apart. I know plenty of kids going to schools are considered "hard to get into" who washed out of entry level jobs because they didn't have minimal skills. Seems the main skills learned in college today are drinking, drugs and partying.

So, do what gives you pleasure and not what you HATE and fuels your TMS.