I need some support with shifting symptoms

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for support to unlearn my foot pain and sleeping problems, but moreover to "be done with TMS symptoms...."

10 years ago I completely recovered from severe RSI (for years!) in just weeks by reading Sarno's books and following the recovery instructions.
However I have had changing symptoms for a long time... A painful knee or back, headaches, then sleeping problems for some time, some RSI symptoms. I don't take them very seriously anymore... thatś a big win of course. For the past ten years every now and then I had "something".

Lately I can't gain control over:
For some years I have, one year more than another, chill-beans, or at least I think it is that: tingling and "deaf" sensations in my feet and toes, it starts to hurt if it lasts longer. It is triggered by cold, but also very much by emotion. For that reason I am super convinced it is TMS (caused by deprived blood circulation). This year it has started already and temperatures where I live are still around 10 degrees Celsius now. Not so cold... The pain came as soon as I gained control over sleepless nights.

I am wondering that because of the fact that I am having continuously changing symptoms, do I need some additional therapy?
The good thing is that I'm not scared by my physical symptoms any more. However, I am fed up with all those ailments and pain issues and fed up with all the time it takes to unlearn my "new symptoms".

I have a classic TMS personality: a perfectionist, a goodist, prone to worry... I have a family with two young kids and a challenging job. So I do put a lot of pressure on myself. I know that, but I can't manage to change it... I don't know whether I should just accept it (and myself) or should try to change myself (as yes, I'm very hard on myself saying I shouldn't have TMS, I should just "be normal" for whatever that means).

When I suffer from TMS symptoms I try to journal, tell my brain it is okay to feel and express my feelings, I cry, I hit a pillow but it always comes back sooner or later... And I don't want to be mad and cry all the time!! And symptoms starts to get more "severe" in a way that I had sleeping problems for a while really affecting a lot of areas of my live and now foot pain which for one reason or another is more difficult to overcome.

What I'm looking for now? Support and some suggestions: should I just learn to deal with it coming back all the time? Should I learn even more how to express my emotions? Should I just accept this is the way I work (and keep on suffering from pain ailments) or should I see a therapist? And what would be a good therapist?

Thanks a lot for reading till the end and thanks in advance for your reply.

 

I'm fairly new to TMS, and want you to know you're not alone. This forum has helped me so much.

I am also experiencing the floating/moving pain. From what I've read here, that is pretty typical for TMS, a last ditch effort so to speak to keep you from truly experiencing difficult emotions. You say you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Try to accept yourself as you are, and your pain. As I type that, it seems contradictory...we know we need to change how we handle emotions (hence the TMS), but yet we also need to accept our pain and the knowledge that it's the pressure/perfectionism/emotional suppression which has manifested the issues.

When you express your feelings, do you feel better? When you the emotions come back, are they the same? I too experience frustration/sadness/anger/you-name-it. I'm practicing being mindful that I do need to let those emotions go, and as time goes on I'm doing a better job and handling my feelings.

Keep trying and don't give up!

 

Dear DianS,
the new symptoms that continue to appear since I started this journey are my big problem at the moment.

I started following this forum for a sciatic nerve problem. In a few months the problem was no longer a problem . But from that moment new symptoms have appeared everywhere on my body: headaches, shoulders, gastroesophageal reflux, colitis and a thousand other annoyances that, every day, appear upon awakening and keep me company during my days.
And I, like you, cry, write, I despair and I really try them all. So I can not be a good advisor to you right now.

But I still want to leave a suggestion, and that's what Claire Weekes's book taught me: our mood influences our body and until we can change our moods in difficult times, it will be difficult to put into practice the techniques so well presented on this site.

The only times I managed to get rid of the symptoms was when I was able to relax with the symptoms. In this journey to discover ourselves there is no standard path, everyone must find their own space, their own peace because we all come from different experiences.
Yet these symptoms are part of the same logic for everyone, because all of us are trying to fight or escape from fear in one way or another.

When I'm sick, whatever happens, I repeat these four words: face, accept, float, let time pass.

Try to treat yourself kindly and try not to be too sad, we deserve all the happiness of this world.

We can do it!

 

Thanks @Coffeeplease and @Pietro Carloni for your replies. They really strengthen me in my journey of getting rid of TMS. It is so weird to experience shifting symptoms!

It does help me to express my emotions @Coffeeplease it just feels like it never stops and I just don't want all those negative emotions... My husband is a bit fed up as well... I know I need to express them, however I think I like to learn a way not to create as many...

As you both say I need to accept the pain, accept myself and at the same time also learn to deal with emotions in a different way or learn how to put less pressure on myself or deal with the anxiety (I don't want to feel). I think those shifting symptoms show me I really need to change how I approach certain things in life, so I might need some additional help... Thanks for the Claire Weeke's link, going to read it. And going to go through the Pain Recovery Program again.
I do practice mindfulness meditations, but I find it very hard to apply in daily life. But Iĺl just continue. As well as with trying to be kind to myself....

Good luck you both. Ten years ago I got my life back after struggling with severe RSI and neck shoulder pain for 3 years. I am so grateful someone gave me Sarno's book... So I know I can deal with this as well. It is just frustrating to have the idea it never ends.

We can do it!

 

Yes you can! Come here for support and keep processing those emotions, I know...it's not pleasant or fun. But it gives me hope for healing and the pain does get better. I just ordered Clair Weeks book at the recommendation of Jan, and Dr. Sarno's book Healing Back Pain. Be patient with yourself and sending peace and prayers your way!

 

Hello. This post really brings it home for me, too.
My brain wants to constantly create new symptoms.
Or, I absorb those of other. After learning that a family member has ovarian cancer, I've been feeling pings of pain in that area.
Today, actually, I realized something. Once a symptom goes away, I feel happy, but I don't stay on the self-love track.
I go back to being self-judgmental and then anxious. Then, a new symptom appears.

For myself, I need to make the self-love part a practice, and not go back to "life as before."

The internet is chock full of women in chronic pain. It really is epidemic.

I feel like it's one thing for me to understand my anger or sadness and it's another for me to actually love myself.

Thanks for starting a post about this. I'm so interested to hear from others.

 

Your posts resonate a lot with me. Especially simply forgetting the “selv-love-track” as Marcia puts it. So true! That happens to me all the time. So, I have to keep myself on track. New habits take some time ...

 

I think you shouldn’t be trying to get control of anything. Accept whatever symptoms come along only as indicating you could improve your mental health. There is no action to take per say. Accept that things may always be this way, but continue to seek a more calm mental state.

This has worked for me. Still get symptoms sometimes. Continuing to get better.

 

This thread is very helpful. It seems that the perfectionists in us get easily frustrated when the pain doesn't go away even after we follow all of Dr Sarno's treatment plan. I beat myself up when it doesn't work, when new symptoms appear or my symptoms come & go.
I think the acceptance and self love paths are crucial in this journey.
I too write in my journal, give self-talks, punch my pillow, yell...all of it. And when the pain returns, I get frustrated and anxious.

 

it is my own problem, when new symptoms appear, I am two / three days despairing about their meaning in the therapeutic path. Then after two days they usually vanish and give way to a sense of restlessness that lasts more or less until another stimulus appears. and so on in a circle. it has been happening to me for 8 months. and it is very tiring.

 

Sounds like you are in a fight with the situation. Release and let go. Accept that this could be the new normal without getting upset. Then move on with life with outcome independence.

Funny thing about people like us. I truly believe our pain would disappear in almost an instant if we were facing certain death. All this bs we worry about would lose all meaning. Supposedly this is the ego being completely shutdown. Those types of thoughts just lose all meaning.

 

I totally agree...and this is also the source of depression.
With two young children and all the responsibility that I feel on my skin, my personal war is to rediscover the serenity of youth.

this struggle is consuming me.

 

I would like to ask a question about it.
It also happens to you to accept a certain symptom and then go back to being worried about other symptoms that appear?
I'll explain. If I accepted sciatic as a symptom of TMS, why can not I reach the same level of acceptance with headaches or gatritis (for example)?

 

I can only tell you why it was the same way for me. I’m am the most stubborn person I know. Have to see it to believe it.

Once it all clicked I realized when my first onset of TMS was at over 20 yrs ago and other ailments I had no idea were TMS.

 

Oh my I totally do this too. It's maddening. Not sure if it's related to my RSI.

Although today I was thinking that it was interesting that my left arm and hands were feeling perfectly normal... And guess what happened minutes later? I started getting forearm pain and tingling in my left arm and hands. That makes me feel like what I have is probably TMS.