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I need advice to get over the fear of pain itself

R

Rio

Newcomer
Hi I've had low back pain and sciatica pain since I was 17. I'm 29 now and it's the worst it's ever been. Even just walking hurts I feel like I'm walking with a big Popsicle stick attached to my back and any movement that would move the Popsicle stick hurts me.

I know it's tms I've had x rays and they all show that my back and spine is normal there's nothing wrong l. I fully believe this is tms I know it. My biggest hurdle is being afraid of the pain. I'm not afraid of physically damaging myself cause I know it's tms and my body is fine.

I'm soley just afraid of the pain. Before I do anything I get scared if it will hurt a lot or a little. Getting up from my bed, getting up from a chair, getting into my car or out of my car, walking to the bathroom, I'm afraid of it all cause it hurts. I just need some nice words or something that will encourage me. I can't even fathom sitting up from my bed a normal way instead of rolling over onto my belly and getting onto my hands and knees and then pushing up to get out of bed. That's the way I know that hurts less. If I try to sit up normally like a situp I can't even get courage to do that cause expect it to hurt.

I just need to stop being afraid and do it huh. How is it this hard though?
 
Rio said:
How is it this hard though?
Click to expand...
You got that fear through conditioning BUT the good news is you can get rid of it the same way, by taking conscious control of your own unconscious conditioning.
In all of the activities you listed, one thing you might not be noticing is , in spite of all of the fear and pain, you still end up doing them, correct?
So...all of the fear was just wasted head noise. Yep.. the pain is real, but the fear isn't.
First, read Sarno's books. Then, do the daily reminders, Then, when the pain distracts you, literally tell it to F off the way you would to an irritating little brother or nagging child...because that is all that voice is.

All of us who are recovered went though this... the fear is actually worse then the pain. BOTH will go away if you Read sarno, do the reminders and incorporate the self talk and 'attitude of disdain' that Sarno encourages. It usually goes away in a few weeks.
 
By just examining this and asking the question you're partway there. The reason it is so hard to decouple fear from pain signals is that pain is a danger signal. That is its purpose - to alert us to a potential danger in our bodies. It's just that this process has gone haywire in chronic pain.

So, given that it is really hard and counterintuitive, please don't beat yourself up about it. Give yourself grace and compassion. It is really hard, and really counterintuitive, and it takes time and patience to achieve. You can get there, but how you get there matters.

Being kind to yourself and having realistic expectations isn't just about getting all mushy and soft with ourselves. It's strategic. When we push through, force ourselves, approach something with urgency, put pressure on ourselves to do better... All of that revs up our nervous system and increases the propensity for our pain signals to continue firing.

See if you can do the opposite - just give up for a moment, and accept how you feel about pain. Accept that you are afraid of pain. Tell yourself that this is normal and understandable, and in fact is your body working overtime to try to keep you safe. Reassure yourself that this is misguided, that there is no physical damage and it's not necessary to be afraid.

But, if you have to feel afraid for now, let yourself know that that's okay too, and you will keep checking in and reminding yourself that you are safe as often as you need.

Acceptance and surrender feel counterintuitive but they can work wonders.
 
look fear right in the eye and stand up to it. if you want to overcome TMS, you really have to be able to overcome the fear. and of course it feels daunting when you're in the middle of it but it can be done. keep reassuring yourself that you can overcome the fear. it's a reconditioning. good luck. you can do it!
 
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