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I just need somebody to say something nice please...

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by ssxl4000, Sep 15, 2020.

  1. ssxl4000

    ssxl4000 Well known member

    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
  2. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am sorry you are dealing with so much right now. Given that we are focused on helping members heal from TMS/mind-body symptoms, and we have members from all over with different experiences and beliefs, I do respectfully ask that we steer clear of specific political subjects and figures, and focus on the main issues tied to TMS/the mind-body connection in this post: feeling disconnected from family, having different beliefs and values, etc. If a deeper political conversation is desired, a political platform such as subreddits dedicated to those topics is more fitting. We are very happy to assist with mind-body healing and I will let other members jump in with their thoughts - I just want to ensure this does not at any point spiral into a heavy political conversation or debate as you get responses.

    EDIT: Hi! I apologize - my intention was not to have you remove your post, I just wanted to set an expectation with other posters before anyone commented that the focus should be on your main anxiety and mind-body concerns, not any political views since that can quickly get us off track. Please let us know if you want to discuss your anxiety and stress. We care and are here for you.
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
    plum likes this.
  3. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    sweetness, what’s on your mind?
    I didn’t catch your original post but rest assured all of us are stressed to the hilt by Covid, politics and environmental catastrophes, without even veering into our private problems. We care very much but the focus rests on caring without the anxiety, rage and negative spiralling that these global situations provoke. So please, post again.

    You are a gem. Promise me you are looking after yourself too. x
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  4. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Absolutely agreed. This matters to us and I apologize if my initial post made anyone feel otherwise; I just want the best possible discussion to maximize the value of the guidance and suggestions provided. Sometimes politics, whether we agree or disagree with someone, can increase anxiety, make us lose focus, and/or become polarizing - even if we don’t intend for that to happen and have the best intentions, which I know the original post did.

    Plum, you are always so wise and kind - we are lucky to have you.
    TrustIt and plum like this.
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you angel. We are all blessed to have this place where kindred spirits reside and understand. Don’t be hard on yourself Dorado, I’ve seen many posts detailed where passions become inflamed and it’s an act of love to preempt this. I hope the OP comes back and let’s us tease apart the issues. Invariably this benefits us all.
    Dorado likes this.
  6. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Hi Plum, we have exchanged posts before and you have been very kind. I also in the UK. You once posted that you had a lot of tension in your trapezoid muscles and need to roll about on a ball to get relief. I have had upper back pain ( scapula) continuously for over two years and believe it to be TMS i.e. chronic tight muscles. Why I can't release these muscles is causing me so much stress.
    Can you offer some advice again please Plum, as I am becoming obsessed with this now. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts in the past. They have always helped, but I am really down at the moment.
    plum likes this.
  7. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    hello @fredb,

    I am sorry to hear you’re feeling low at the moment, hopefully I can rustle up some thoughts on how to ease those muscles for you. Your message is timely actually because yesterday I managed to enjoy my dream team soothers and today I feel really good.

    Firstly though it does well to remember that the shoulders, neck and upper back are absolute classic places for stress and tension to lodge. Louise Hay attributed shoulder problems to ‘shouldering too much’ and feeling a lack of support, particularly emotionally so it’s a good idea to reflect upon these issues, as well as any other stressors you have in your life.

    Ok, so the very best ways I have found to nix shoulder and upper back tension is Yin Yoga and swimming. If you go to ‘My Story’* and scroll down to the end you’ll find a link to the yoga teacher I follow. She has lots of free classes on YouTube but the class that transformed my back problems is included in the Udemy course I link to.

    Specifically my TMS rests at the T4 disc and when I’m stressed it gets all stuck, tight and jammy and very painful as it pulls heavily on my shoulders. I’ve tried countless things to deal with it but ultimately it’s that one Udemy class (Chest and Back) that always helps. The first pose, and the one I find incredibly powerful and beneficial is called ‘puppy pose’. If you google ‘yin yoga puppy pose’ you’ll find quite a few articles, pictures and YouTube videos about it. The magical key with yin is that we hold the pose for around 3-4 minutes and it’s during this longer hold that the release shifts from the muscles to the fascia.

    Yin also typically works with the emotions and the teacher I like (Kassandra Reinhardt) has crafted classes that work with different emotions so they truly are body~mind methods. I find yin infinitely more powerful than journaling and it’s not unusual for a class to inspire profound emotional shifts and releases. For this reason I recommend a class over a single pose. Take some time to explore her channel. Again, in ‘My Story’ you’ll find a link to her giving an explanation of Yin and a link to her YouTube channel which has a Yin Playlist with lots of classes to choose from.

    Yin is very gentle but as an even kinder alternative you may like Restorative Yoga. Here’s a link to a class I did a long time ago when I was in a very bad way. It includes a pose which literally changed my life. It’s a heart opener and is gradually introduced during the class from lying on a rolled up blanket through to a bolster or cushion. Again it prompted a huge emotional release and surge of self-compassion.

    Aside from the freeing of trapped emotions, I find Yin and Restorative Yoga to be excellent ways of reintroducing movement to a body wracked with pain and fear. They are incredibly mindful practices and over time they really can make a dramatic difference to your wellbeing. Naturally they ease and hopefully eliminate pain and tightness too.

    On top of this I find swimming to be exceptionally beneficial. I have really missed it during lockdown and find it hard to go as much as I would like (mostly due to restrictions on numbers at the pool) but every time it returns me to myself. Scientists attribute a lot of this to something called ‘Blue Mind’ which also explains why humans have a powerful relationship with seas, lakes, rivers and all natural forms of water. Water is also symbolic and intimately connected to the unconscious mind and our emotions. Perhaps you could try swimming (and nothing athletic, a few gentle lengths of breaststroke is heavenly), or if this is not your thing then endeavour to visit a nearby body of water and spend some quiet time there.

    Bringing this full circle, some of us need to access the body~mind through the body and this is perfectly ok. It’s not a heretical violation of TMS healing protocol but simply a different yet equally wonderful and powerful form of healing. Some people here have found great success with Qi Gung/Chi Gung/various alternate spellings, or Tai Chi or dance.

    I say this because people often get confused about what kind of bodywork is acceptable and I don’t think it matters. What does matter is that you get moving gently with grace, confidence and compassion, allowing yourself to connect with the emotions as you go, and softening around any negativity that rises up. Be patient and curious about what works and what doesn’t and you will craft a way out and through.

    I truly hope this helps a bit.

    plum x

    *My Story.
    If you click on my avatar, it should take you to the right place.

    p.s. yin is the perfect way to learn Somatic Tracking. I had a eureka moment when Alan Gordon introduced this practice because I realised this was exactly what yin gifted me with.
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2020
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  8. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Wow. Thank you so much Plum for such a detailed response with so much information. You have given up so much of your time to supply me and others who may be watching this thread! I will read and read again in order to try all you have suggested. Yes doing would be good, but restrictions at the moment are putting me off. I have read your story before, but would like to read again and will do.
    It is interesting to hear your theory that stress is held on the upper back and shoulders, as this is where I believe my tension lies. Why it will not release is the bit I do not understand, given I believe and understand what is going on?
    Plum, you are a true legend.
    Thank you.
    plum likes this.
  9. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    You make me blush! But thank you. There is an answer, there always is, and I know you will find it. In this venture I send you many blessings and much love.
  10. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle


    This morning I was scanning the Yin classes deciding which one to do today and I found this little gem, Kassandra’s tutorial on puppy pose!

  11. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Thank you again Plum. You are so thoughtful. I will try some of these poses. My only trouble is that after any exercise or stretching, I get rather sore!
    and this is on top of my general daily upper back ache and tightness. Maybe I need to push through the pain?
    Thanks again Plum.
  12. Lainey

    Lainey Well known member

    Not knowing exactly what you may need in these global moments of disruption, personal tension and persistent pain, but nevertheless sending you warm wishes and loving thoughts that whatever is 'getting' the best of you will no longer have the power over you to create whatever pain you may find yourself in at this point in time.
    Sent with love
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